Monday, May 22, 2017 Working On "Normal"
I felt strong and good when I woke up, spent time with Irene working with Irene on new relationship, talking about what it means going forward. I want our relationship to be strong and “normalized”, but I also recognize that I am insecure about that normalization. One of the things I enjoyed about Irene being sick (ugh, I hate admitting this) was that she depended on me and I was able to come through for her. Her illness provided a framework to let me show her how much I loved her and how much she could depend on me. It was a similar thing with my mom when I was able to fully move my work to home; I could take care of her. I could "pay her back" for all the help she had ever given us and I could "prove" to her that was worth that trust. I found taking care of Mom and Irene very rewarding, like I might actually be a good person worth the love and trust others placed in me. So, it's been years since we had a "normal" relationship, so to s...