Love After Life

I woke up feeling good, spent time talking with Irene, started feeling great again.  Texted Gerra about the commercial, she was right at that time trying to find her lost keys so she could get a new car, asking Irene to help her find the keys.  As we were texting her friend comes and picks her up and her keys are in her friend’s car! Also, walked into my office (not for the first time this morning) and an orange box I hadn’t noticed before was on top of my plastic shelves. Had a bunch of needlepoint stuff Gerra had apparently missed so I think Irene wants to make sure Gerra gets that box. Found a great pair of needle nose pliers in that box I plan on keeping, though! I was telling Ivori about all this and the big black and yellow butterfly I saw in the back yard yesterday, matching the small one she made a video while working on the pyramid and the giant one Freya took a picture of had that landed on Victor and just sat there while they all looked at it.  Ivori t...

I felt strong and good when I woke up, spent time with Irene working with Irene on new relationship, talking about what it means going forward.  I want our relationship to be strong and “normalized”, but I also recognize that I am insecure about that normalization.   One of the things I enjoyed about Irene being sick (ugh, I hate admitting this) was that she depended on me and I was able to come through for her.  Her illness provided a framework to let me show her how much I loved her and how much she could depend on me.  It was a similar thing with my mom when I was able to fully move my work to home; I could take care of her.  I could "pay her back" for all the help she had ever given us and I could "prove" to her that was worth that trust.  I found taking care of Mom and Irene very rewarding, like I might actually be a good person worth the love and trust others placed in me. So, it's been years since we had a "normal" relationship, so to s...