Love After Life

This is starting off to be a very bad day, prayed to have the evil or darkness that was making me doubt and fear thrown out, driven  out, prayed for God to work with Irene and I to succeed in our adventure of continuing our relationship after her passing. There is this infection of doubt and fear that it seems I can't drive out and despair is setting in again – I can't find any relief.  Robert had said someone woke him up yesterday morning. He heard a voice say his name and when he got up Shanna was still asleep.  The physical/emotional/psychological aspect of this is just like being sick.  I can feel a 15 second sobbing spurt coming on just like I can feel nausea just before I throw up.. It even feels much like I’m throwing up.  I can feel pain and doubt in me like disease. To find relief I started watching Long Island Medium, one of Irene’s favorite shows, to get my mind on a more positive track.  When I started it this time it it was o...

There are things I need to do to better prepare and condition myself for "lucid living" and developing a better connection to the spiritual in my quest to manifest a "transdimensional" relationship with Irene.  This is why spiritual doctrines use mantras, diet, physical meditating poses and breathing exercises – to find and develop our connection and relationship with the spiritual world, and to habitualize that process into a lifestyle pattern.  I think a lot of it boils down to intention and manifestation; the exercises/habits promote the intention, which in turn helps manifest results into reality. I think a lot of it is also just the grace of God.  I've started to look for more information, videos, books, etc. on the afterlife, prayer, meditation, the spiritual aspects of existence - which is saying a lot, since I've always been interested in such things and have always found such information fascinating and have tried to apply it to my life.  Howev...