Tuesday, June 6, 2017 What Am I Really Doing Here?
I had a good morning session, 40 minutes of meditating. Still have felt sad on and off during the morning, did 20 more minutes about 9:30. Still going through something I’m trying to evaluate, like I’m trying to accept and understand what I’m really doing and why, and who I am going to be in this. What am I really trying to do here? Survive long enough to go back to a semblance of a normal life? What could that possibly look like without Irene? What is my purpose here? What should I be striving for here? Do I think it is really possible for me to actually join up with Irene in spirit while I am still living here, and experience us together on the other side for real - not just imagined, envisioned, or really strongly felt? I had to meditate for 30 more minutes, I’m crashing this afternoon. Nothing I do seems to stop it. I feel like I’ve lost everything and nothing will bring it back. I can’t seem to feel or envision Irene....