Enjoying Cycles of Experience
Thursday and Friday night I had dreams of Irene that I remembered. The first was really sweet and intimate, and in the second she was taller than she was in the physical and looked really regal, with long black hair and a long flowing white dress, almost like a wedding dress. Our efforts at developing our capacity for transdimensional interaction is making positive gain.
I've kept up with my new routine and I'm really enjoying it. and I feel like I've made strides as far as my mental discipline is concerned, which I'm sure can't be hurting our capacity to interact. Thursday I woke up from the dream very happy, and as the day wore on and Irene let me know that it was her and gave me a confirmation Friday. My sense of Irene kept getting stronger and stronger through the day.
I see the days as cyclic time segments of experience. My goal is to develop my awareness so that, in that cycle, I can find satisfaction, enjoyment, happiness with Irene and peace in the repetitive events and actions that occur each day, and in the variable or new events that can occur. I feel this is an important ability to have in terms of enjoying eternity and getting out of a teleological mindset - so we can truly find our enjoyment throughout eternity in even the smallest of things we experience together.
I was sitting on the porch watching the birds at the feeder in my front yard - a male and female cardinal and a bunch of tiny brown birds. I realized I had done that every morning for about six or seven months since I started smoking with Irene there. It has never gotten old. I get as much enjoyment out of it today as I got out of it the first day. Yesterday I saw something new - a skunk ran across my front yard. I enjoyed that. Sometimes the neighbor's cats walk across my yard. I enjoy that. The little kids from down the street walked up as I watched and they asked me if I'd like to by a snow cone for a dollar, which I did. They ran back to their house and made their delivery before they moved on to the next house. I enjoyed that. I enjoy sitting out in the warmth of the porch for a while, and then walking into the cool of the air-conditioned house. I enjoy taking transdimensional naps and meditating whenever I want. I enjoy my work. The list goes on and on.
There are so many things I've found that are enjoyable even when focused down on a second-by-second basis. My daily life is literally jam-packed with experiences that are very enjoyable and are not made less so simply with repetition. They are always enjoyable - as long as I recognize how to approach each thing in order to properly enjoy it. For instance, if I watch too much TV in a day, or I smoke too much, or eat too much, I no longer enjoy it properly.
Each day is a small cycle-segment of time that demonstrates how Irene and I can enjoy our eternal existence because we are doing it even now, with the resources, capacity, and opportunity we have in this situation. I recognize each day that I wake up, I have made the choice to be in the experience I find myself in. We are cycling through this set of daily experiences in the same way I cycle through my experiences in a single day, except on a longer, bigger scale. We use spacing between certain enjoyments of each other, and various awareness orientations, to be able to maximize those enjoyments.
It's quite interesting and enjoyable to experience the unfolding of this particular scenario of ours to see where it is leading in the context of the larger cycle. What's cool to think is that we have had forever already (but in another sense, we already had to begin with) a perfect understanding of how to maximize our enjoyments cycles, so I can relax and trust the plan and process and completely focus on enjoying every day with Irene in this situation.
It's a lot like when Irene was still physically here and she would go for a week out of town to babysit one of the grandchildren. While we didn't have free long distance at the time, nor were there mobile phones, texting, and such ease in taking and sending pictures, I imagine now how that time could have been. We could have easily been talking to each other, texting, sending pictures and flirting, maximixing the happy longing for each other, the time apart creating an anticipation for reunion, even though she wouldn't have been physically with me for the week. That's very similar to what is going on right now with us.
That's something we understood in our daily life while she was here physically - that over the long term, spacing was a key ingredient. I better understand now how important awareness is - both what I am aware of consciously, and what I am not. The goal isn't to have as much awareness as possible, but rather the proper alignment of conscious awareness with what one is trying to enjoy experiencing.
This post probably rambled quite a bit because I'm just now trying to articulate this information for myself.
I've kept up with my new routine and I'm really enjoying it. and I feel like I've made strides as far as my mental discipline is concerned, which I'm sure can't be hurting our capacity to interact. Thursday I woke up from the dream very happy, and as the day wore on and Irene let me know that it was her and gave me a confirmation Friday. My sense of Irene kept getting stronger and stronger through the day.
I see the days as cyclic time segments of experience. My goal is to develop my awareness so that, in that cycle, I can find satisfaction, enjoyment, happiness with Irene and peace in the repetitive events and actions that occur each day, and in the variable or new events that can occur. I feel this is an important ability to have in terms of enjoying eternity and getting out of a teleological mindset - so we can truly find our enjoyment throughout eternity in even the smallest of things we experience together.
I was sitting on the porch watching the birds at the feeder in my front yard - a male and female cardinal and a bunch of tiny brown birds. I realized I had done that every morning for about six or seven months since I started smoking with Irene there. It has never gotten old. I get as much enjoyment out of it today as I got out of it the first day. Yesterday I saw something new - a skunk ran across my front yard. I enjoyed that. Sometimes the neighbor's cats walk across my yard. I enjoy that. The little kids from down the street walked up as I watched and they asked me if I'd like to by a snow cone for a dollar, which I did. They ran back to their house and made their delivery before they moved on to the next house. I enjoyed that. I enjoy sitting out in the warmth of the porch for a while, and then walking into the cool of the air-conditioned house. I enjoy taking transdimensional naps and meditating whenever I want. I enjoy my work. The list goes on and on.
There are so many things I've found that are enjoyable even when focused down on a second-by-second basis. My daily life is literally jam-packed with experiences that are very enjoyable and are not made less so simply with repetition. They are always enjoyable - as long as I recognize how to approach each thing in order to properly enjoy it. For instance, if I watch too much TV in a day, or I smoke too much, or eat too much, I no longer enjoy it properly.
Each day is a small cycle-segment of time that demonstrates how Irene and I can enjoy our eternal existence because we are doing it even now, with the resources, capacity, and opportunity we have in this situation. I recognize each day that I wake up, I have made the choice to be in the experience I find myself in. We are cycling through this set of daily experiences in the same way I cycle through my experiences in a single day, except on a longer, bigger scale. We use spacing between certain enjoyments of each other, and various awareness orientations, to be able to maximize those enjoyments.
It's quite interesting and enjoyable to experience the unfolding of this particular scenario of ours to see where it is leading in the context of the larger cycle. What's cool to think is that we have had forever already (but in another sense, we already had to begin with) a perfect understanding of how to maximize our enjoyments cycles, so I can relax and trust the plan and process and completely focus on enjoying every day with Irene in this situation.
It's a lot like when Irene was still physically here and she would go for a week out of town to babysit one of the grandchildren. While we didn't have free long distance at the time, nor were there mobile phones, texting, and such ease in taking and sending pictures, I imagine now how that time could have been. We could have easily been talking to each other, texting, sending pictures and flirting, maximixing the happy longing for each other, the time apart creating an anticipation for reunion, even though she wouldn't have been physically with me for the week. That's very similar to what is going on right now with us.
That's something we understood in our daily life while she was here physically - that over the long term, spacing was a key ingredient. I better understand now how important awareness is - both what I am aware of consciously, and what I am not. The goal isn't to have as much awareness as possible, but rather the proper alignment of conscious awareness with what one is trying to enjoy experiencing.
This post probably rambled quite a bit because I'm just now trying to articulate this information for myself.
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