The Freedom Of Complete Commitment
Even though it's STILL 100 degree heat outside every day, and the bedroom in particular not as cool as I like it, I've been having really great visualizations, hypnagogic experiences and flashes of astral sight and sound whenever I lie down. It leaves me very happy, content, excited and energized!
We had a discussion in our Love After Life Zoom Group yesterday about how different this kind of relationship is from other, "ordinary" romantic relationships, and it got me to thinking about it this morning. The thing is, it's not just a romantic relationship; we're also best friends and two people that love to talk with each other about all sorts of things. We're comrades, compatriots, companions and two creative collaborators. We are like-minded rebels, both of us very independent from social norms and expectations. We make each other laugh and have the same kind of humor. We're both semi-hermits and are just fine staying at home with each other. We have the same philosophical outlook. We are both open to changing our minds and we can both admit when we're wrong about something. And yet, we are different in ways that allow us to challenge and complete each other.
I've never met anyone else - not even remotely - that is everything I want, need and enjoy. I don't think "love" is a strong enough word to express how deeply, madly and completely in love with her I am.
Most other people, IMO, don't have this. Yes, they love people, and have very beautiful relationships with them, but as far as I can see, it's not nearly the same. I have zero interest in allowing another "relationship" possibility anywhere near me, let alone try to find one. I just laugh at that thought or idea if it pops in my head or if someone says something about it.
I'm 1000% committed to Irene and our relationship. What was so interesting this morning is when I realized that, because of this conscious, heartfelt, realized commitment, I feel utterly free. I know who my eternity is. I know what my purpose is. I know exactly what makes me happiest and utterly fulfilled. I know exactly what to do. I am at peace virtually 24/7. And we both had this long before she even got sick. I just had never thought of the connection of my commitment to her and how free it made me feel, and now even more so because of my understanding of the afterlife and our eternal nature.
It's an amazing thing to consciously accept that my purpose, my reason for existence, that which turns everything into rainbows and unicorns for me, is, in the broadest sense, making love with Irene. Making her laugh, delighting her with things I create, say or buy for her, providing any space or support she wants, being whatever she wants or needs from me is what I absolutely delight in. I don't need anything else to satisfy me than to see a smile on her face.
For whatever reason, and it may seem odd, but this has made me feel completely, totally free. I guess I've been liberated from doubt, existential angst, and any worries about what I "should" do, worries about he meaning of life, and wondering whether or not I'll ever have a truly satisfying relationship, if anyone will really love me like I love them, etc. In Irene, I have it all, and I have it all for eternity. I can't begin to describe how great that feels, how transformative that is, how complete and whole I am and have been with her.
That's what I think people in other kinds of relationships just don't understand; this isn't just "a relationship"; it's everything. Nothing else compares. It's not something you walk away from or move forward from; it's something you do everything in your power to keep, because after having it, even the thought of not having it only leaves you empty and in despair. Even for those who didn't get to live with it much in this life, once you get a whiff of it, once you even get a small taste of it and you know it does or might exist, everything else pales in comparison.
We had a discussion in our Love After Life Zoom Group yesterday about how different this kind of relationship is from other, "ordinary" romantic relationships, and it got me to thinking about it this morning. The thing is, it's not just a romantic relationship; we're also best friends and two people that love to talk with each other about all sorts of things. We're comrades, compatriots, companions and two creative collaborators. We are like-minded rebels, both of us very independent from social norms and expectations. We make each other laugh and have the same kind of humor. We're both semi-hermits and are just fine staying at home with each other. We have the same philosophical outlook. We are both open to changing our minds and we can both admit when we're wrong about something. And yet, we are different in ways that allow us to challenge and complete each other.
I've never met anyone else - not even remotely - that is everything I want, need and enjoy. I don't think "love" is a strong enough word to express how deeply, madly and completely in love with her I am.
Most other people, IMO, don't have this. Yes, they love people, and have very beautiful relationships with them, but as far as I can see, it's not nearly the same. I have zero interest in allowing another "relationship" possibility anywhere near me, let alone try to find one. I just laugh at that thought or idea if it pops in my head or if someone says something about it.
I'm 1000% committed to Irene and our relationship. What was so interesting this morning is when I realized that, because of this conscious, heartfelt, realized commitment, I feel utterly free. I know who my eternity is. I know what my purpose is. I know exactly what makes me happiest and utterly fulfilled. I know exactly what to do. I am at peace virtually 24/7. And we both had this long before she even got sick. I just had never thought of the connection of my commitment to her and how free it made me feel, and now even more so because of my understanding of the afterlife and our eternal nature.
It's an amazing thing to consciously accept that my purpose, my reason for existence, that which turns everything into rainbows and unicorns for me, is, in the broadest sense, making love with Irene. Making her laugh, delighting her with things I create, say or buy for her, providing any space or support she wants, being whatever she wants or needs from me is what I absolutely delight in. I don't need anything else to satisfy me than to see a smile on her face.
For whatever reason, and it may seem odd, but this has made me feel completely, totally free. I guess I've been liberated from doubt, existential angst, and any worries about what I "should" do, worries about he meaning of life, and wondering whether or not I'll ever have a truly satisfying relationship, if anyone will really love me like I love them, etc. In Irene, I have it all, and I have it all for eternity. I can't begin to describe how great that feels, how transformative that is, how complete and whole I am and have been with her.
That's what I think people in other kinds of relationships just don't understand; this isn't just "a relationship"; it's everything. Nothing else compares. It's not something you walk away from or move forward from; it's something you do everything in your power to keep, because after having it, even the thought of not having it only leaves you empty and in despair. Even for those who didn't get to live with it much in this life, once you get a whiff of it, once you even get a small taste of it and you know it does or might exist, everything else pales in comparison.
Comments
Post a Comment