Love After Life

I had a good day yesterday even though I felt somewhat under the weather all day and had people over all day long.  I drank coffee out on the swing and talked to Irene instead of smoking and that was great. She and I are still developing and refining our ability to communicate and I'm trying to "tune in" to her frequency even while not meditating.  This is probably going to be a long-term effort.  Yesterday during the football game tuned in to her and sent her a mental image to let her know I was thinking of her and that I love her. Today I've been feeling even more under the weather and even had to take a nap.  I hope I don't get too sick from whatever this is. Yesterday and today I've been looking to make our interactions and my self-talk and talk with Irene more light-hearted and fun.  I asked her to take me to do some fun things in the astral when I meditated and I found us going to some sort of permanent carnival/fair with rides by the ocean, with a giant...

Yesterday morning I had two good meditations, but I've still felt this heavy chest sensation at times, like emotional pain waiting to happen.  It came up as a kind of panic attack in the afternoon, after which I asked the spirit team for some encouragement and in my mind I thought that I'd like to get something from the TV, like her name or something to give me assurance.  I calmed down rather quickly, made some lunch and I decided to watch Dark Matter and, in an interesting plot twist, the maker of the ship's android had made the android in her image to house her consciousness. The android maker's name was Irena.  I immediately validated and thanked Irene and the spirit team for the quick encouragement! This morning I woke up feeling great.  Gerra and I had a long discussion about all sorts of topics, including her mom, life after death, what we come here to learn, etc.  We watched Astral City - it was okay, but it didn't particularly resonate with me.  ...

Well this hasn't been the greatest of days, but if this is my new "bad day", then I'll take it as huge progress. For the past few days it's been very difficult to get meditation in.  Here and there a really good one, but overall I've noticed it becoming more difficult, not easier.  They've been deeper when I am able to get into it, but it's been a challenge.  Today it's late and I haven't had a single good meditation today. Plus, I've felt totally out of sorts, moody and whiney.  My brain felt like it was someone else's all day long.  Maybe because of the weather lately? Who knows. Woke up with something irritating my good eye and that lasted all morning.  When you only have one functioning eye that kind of thing can be quite unsettling. Now my vision has been blurry all day. Just great. I threw some stuff out for trash day tomorrow and did a lot of crying over it, but it wasn't really all that bad - I think I just wanted to c...