You Call That "Suffering"?
Well this hasn't been the greatest of days, but if this is my new "bad day", then I'll take it as huge progress.
For the past few days it's been very difficult to get meditation in. Here and there a really good one, but overall I've noticed it becoming more difficult, not easier. They've been deeper when I am able to get into it, but it's been a challenge. Today it's late and I haven't had a single good meditation today. Plus, I've felt totally out of sorts, moody and whiney. My brain felt like it was someone else's all day long. Maybe because of the weather lately? Who knows.
Woke up with something irritating my good eye and that lasted all morning. When you only have one functioning eye that kind of thing can be quite unsettling. Now my vision has been blurry all day. Just great.
I threw some stuff out for trash day tomorrow and did a lot of crying over it, but it wasn't really all that bad - I think I just wanted to cry for a while. Oh, the spirit team and Irene must have really loved listening to my bitching and whining at them all day long. I went from missing her badly to being pissed off that I've got to be the one to throw all this stuff out and suffer to being embarrassed at calling what I'm going through "suffering" compared to her battling cancer for almost three years. And losing a child, two fathers and her mother before that. Also, did I tell you, the first time she had cancer - before we met - she was on her own with three young children?
Seems a little ridiculous now to think of today as a "bad day". First world problems, eh?
Anyway, I'm going to watch a new movie I heard about yesterday - Astral City. Gerra's supposed to come up tomorrow so maybe I'll wait until she's here to rent it from Amazon. If it's good I'll put a link to it on my sidebar and tell you about it.
Hey, you know, I'm sorry in advance if, for the next several years, I don't have any astral experiences to report, but the thing is - that's how it might go. I'm not going to make anything up here or make mountains out of mole hills just to spice up the blog. It might be nothing but me whining and crying from now on. Geez. How depressing would that be?
Well, who knows. Maybe we'll get an experience here soon to write about.
For the past few days it's been very difficult to get meditation in. Here and there a really good one, but overall I've noticed it becoming more difficult, not easier. They've been deeper when I am able to get into it, but it's been a challenge. Today it's late and I haven't had a single good meditation today. Plus, I've felt totally out of sorts, moody and whiney. My brain felt like it was someone else's all day long. Maybe because of the weather lately? Who knows.
Woke up with something irritating my good eye and that lasted all morning. When you only have one functioning eye that kind of thing can be quite unsettling. Now my vision has been blurry all day. Just great.
I threw some stuff out for trash day tomorrow and did a lot of crying over it, but it wasn't really all that bad - I think I just wanted to cry for a while. Oh, the spirit team and Irene must have really loved listening to my bitching and whining at them all day long. I went from missing her badly to being pissed off that I've got to be the one to throw all this stuff out and suffer to being embarrassed at calling what I'm going through "suffering" compared to her battling cancer for almost three years. And losing a child, two fathers and her mother before that. Also, did I tell you, the first time she had cancer - before we met - she was on her own with three young children?
Seems a little ridiculous now to think of today as a "bad day". First world problems, eh?
Anyway, I'm going to watch a new movie I heard about yesterday - Astral City. Gerra's supposed to come up tomorrow so maybe I'll wait until she's here to rent it from Amazon. If it's good I'll put a link to it on my sidebar and tell you about it.
Hey, you know, I'm sorry in advance if, for the next several years, I don't have any astral experiences to report, but the thing is - that's how it might go. I'm not going to make anything up here or make mountains out of mole hills just to spice up the blog. It might be nothing but me whining and crying from now on. Geez. How depressing would that be?
Well, who knows. Maybe we'll get an experience here soon to write about.
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