Love After Life

Today has been a really great day so far. I woke up feeling fantastic - whole, complete, totally connected to Irene, happy, enthusiastic with our progress and confident we will soon be able to actually visit with each other.  I did my morning meditation on the loveseat instead of the couch and it was immediately more comfortable than my couch position, my legs and feet did not go to sleep, and it was a very deep meditation.  I was able to visualize a very good intention of visiting Irene with good emotional quality.  It felt like I would, at some point, simply find myself with her in perfect clarity. This confidence in us and our ability to make our reality come into being feel so good and is so different from what I was feeling before I got the answer to my "why am I here" question.  I'm so very appreciative of my situation where I can pursue this goal to my heart's content without significant interference.  It's really amazing that when you think that it's...

I woke up this morning actually feeling satisfied and happy.  I don't think I realized how big a weight that single unanswered question from yesterday has been weighing on me.  In fact, it's something I realize now has been weighing on me my entire life - but I definitely see why it was important for me to not know the answer until now - to really, truly experience the lack and loss I came here to experience.  Knowing that I came here for that reason changes everything in a fundamental way. I can also now understand why some come here to experience truly horrible conditions and events. That sense of deep appreciation afterward is not something that can be faked or learned academically or through simulation. It all makes sense to me now. I'm not saying this is the reason everyone comes here - I don't think that's the case by any means.  But for me, it puts my life in a perspective were I can really understand it and accept it and see clearly why the things that h...