Love After Life

I have crashed into a world of hurt today.  My mind latches onto every conceivable thought and feeling to generate more pain and suffering, trying to turn everything into crap – all thoughts of the past, present and future.  My mind is seeking out every conceivable avenue of accumulating pain, despair and regret, and nothing I do seems to give it any pause.  The grief is causing so much confusion in my head, making me doubt everything, wondering if Irene and I are even on the same page, wondering if I'm hurting her with my grief, wondering how she can stand me right now, wondering if she had so many better things to do than to be constantly running to my aid. I realize I can't remember the date we met.  Was it January 10th?  20th?  I can't believe I can't remember.  I plunge even further into despair. At one point I started the Long Island Medium recording (the magic flower commercial) to try and see the flower commercial again. It wouldn’t ...

I woke up feeling great, spent time praying and “prayer manifesting”, spent quiet time listening and feeling and looking for Irene to manifest, felt some sensations and told her about them – whether or not they are her, I would think she needs feedback from me and also the feedback is part of the manifestation aspect of the project. I can't just assume  she knows everything I'm experiencing. I took dogs in to  have them groomed – like the trip to the animal clinic earlier, it was a wasted trip. Can’t get groomed without shot records.  That’s two trips to town that were largely unnecessary past couple of days. I don't like going to to town unless I have to - driving takes too much out of me, leaving me weak and open to negative/sad influences. Spent more time praying. Felt some sorrow – it felt just like I was about to sneeze, so I sat down started praying and let the tears roll and sobs come out. Felt good afterward, still feel like there’s some down in ther...

I feel so good today, that doubt and fear driven away at least for the time being.  I totally know Irene is here.  That commercial is still blowing my mind. Something I learned today is we are always connected mentally and spiritually, so I can talk to her even while she’s not in this particular physical area – when she’s out doing other things in the spirit world or with other people in this world. I don’t have to always imagine her here and it’s okay to focus on locations here while talking, like her papasan chair, even though she may not be right there – she can still hear me, and such locations give me something to focus on when I speak – it helps to comfort me.  She understands the situation completely. Gave Marley (one of our Pekingese, along with Pico) a bath today and an examination while I brushed him and a lot of my concerns about possible growths, tangles and matted hair appear to be unfounded.  We’re going to the groomer tomorrow morning and I didn’t...