Love After Life

To continue from yesterday, I don't know what it was but it felt like I was coming down with something.  I continued to feel worse until Wheel of Fortune came on and, in my mind, Irene was there with me as usual and I completely calmed down and felt much better mentally and emotionally, even though I still felt a little under the weather.  I had to keep reminding myself to stop thinking, to stop trying to figure it out, that when I felt like that it's time to just get through and let time pass until I feel better.  I told myself I'd feel fine in the morning - and I do! It's so baffling how, when I feel that way, all these strange and unsettling thoughts and mental/emotional sensations manifest.  Also, my ability to even think about those thoughts and feelings rationally or objectively becomes impaired and I end up fueling them somehow.  This morning I'm thinking that "trying to figure something out", which used to be my "go-to" process, is ac...

The past couple of days, even in the midst of realizing how far I've come in so short a time and being very grateful for it, I've had bouts of a rather strange, negative emotion.  Also I have started feeling a kind of loss of breath, almost like the heart-clutch feeling.  I think I'm actually feeling sorry for myself.  I'm having a difficult time believing this is me - I thought I might be picking up on someone else's feelings in the family, which is why I haven't said anything about it until now.  I was trying to figure out what it was. However, that's really what I don't need to do - try to figure that kind of thing out.  Until I get a clear path on anything set in front of me as the result of my intentions and affirmations, I don't need to do anything, much less try to "figure out" what is going on.  "Figuring something out" isn't an empowering perspective; creating and manifesting what I want to be is the empowering ...

Another good day.  I had to run into town to do some errands and had a nice talk with Irene about our lives on the other side. I'm thinking more in terms of what I imagine life would be like considering some of the circumstances I believe to be true about the astral worlds. I was also thinking (and talking with my spirit team) about the idea of "spiritual advancement" and how that idea doesn't resonate with me in the least. When I was younger and felt discontent most of the time, I looked to spiritual "enlightenment" or advancement as a means of quenching that discontent.  As I've mentioned, I used to meditate quite a bit and was doing so when Irene and I met.  I was also a vegetarian, complete non-drinker and non-smoker and used no recreational drugs whatsoever. However, it was actually being with Irene that gave me what I had always been looking for - complete satisfaction and fulfillment.  We talked about this often, how utterly satisfied and comp...