Love After Life

Had a good morning, nice session, then I started getting weird about the time I was going to drive into town to get some chores done.  On the way into town I just went off in an angry tirade about being weak and sad.  Nothing like going for an angry tirade drive where you can just scream and shout to your heart's content and don't have to worry about anyone overhearing you.   In a nutshell, I’m just over it already.  This is not who first met Irene; this is not who she fell in love with.  This weak, sad guy is not the man Irene deserves.  I’m sick of so many thoughts and feelings running through my head and heart that are not mine. Throughout our life together we both had to become different people in order to cope with what was going on. We had to adjust our psychology and habits.  There’s nothing wrong with that – it’s a good thing to be able to adjust in order to be able to develop our relationship with regards to changing conditions, event...

Evening ended well yesterday, full session, was a little nervous around 6pm and after that I might have something negative going on but it never really surfaced.  Gerra got her new car deal (getting the actual car Wednesday) with a clear signal from Irene.  Woke up this morning feeling really good, had a good full session.  Day progressed well, did one more full session, only felt slightly off at one point after a family member came over and talked.  I’m thinking I’m going to need to put in a session every time after people visit just to make sure I clear out all emotions that are not my own. My sessions are not strict or formal - it depends on if I feel like doing something in particular first or just don't feel like doing something else yet.  Often I begin with just talking with Irene. We talk about the kids, grandkids and our great granddaughter, about our plans for the future; about things we went through here; I try to imagine what her life is lik...