Tuesday, April 18, 2017 Sentimental Value

I found a new “our song”.  It came on the radio as I was coming back from dropping Freya (another daughter - we have 7 children in all, including Jamie ) off yesterday – “My Best Friend”, by Queen.  Somehow it makes me very, very happy to play that loud and dance through the house talking with my soul mate like some crazy old man dancing and talking to himself.  You'd think it would break my heart, but I still feel I am being protected from any serious pain or grief at this time, and only continue to feel my great love for Irene and my happiness that she is no longer in pain and is still with me and will always be with me.

I find myself torn about getting rid her immense collections of stuff, but we just can’t keep passing a ton of stuff around.  Someone’s gotta let this stuff go, and I feel like it has to be me to do it.  Of course we will keep all the good and meaningful stuff, but nobody needs to hold on to 1000 seahorse, cardinal, buffalo and whatnot trinkets and nick-knacks. Not to mention a gazillion notes and scribbles and receipts and everything. Irene wasn't as bad as a hoarder, but she did have a great sentimental attachment to things that remind her of people she loved, loves and what she has been through in life. If someone gave her a gift or a card, or a child or grandchild drew a picture or wrote a note, she kept it and it was dear to her.

As I look over her possessions, I begin to really understand why it was so hard for her in life to part with any of it - and I know she is now depending on my and the kids to go through everything, find the things that need to be kept and get rid of all the rest. She doesn't want us dragged down by all her possessions - something she and I talked about even before she passed, even though it was painful for her to think about it - she knew it had to be done.