Love After Life

The problem of social conditioning has been percolating in my mind for a several days now.  Irene and I have been discussing it.  It's been part of our Zoom group discussions the past couple of meetings and this morning I realized the importance of a certain part of my efforts with Irene to establish an enjoyable transdimensional relationship with her. One of the main aspects of my interaction with Irene since shortly after her death was thinking about and planning our future.  When you think about it, this activity is directly in contrast with the ongoing social conditioning that the dead are "gone." Our Pinterest boards about what kind of "afterlife" we want to experience, collecting imagery and ideas about where and how we want to live, what we want to do, what we want to have in our life, has been over-writing the conditioning that "she's gone" and that "we" have "ended."  Before Pinterest, we used vision boards where you...

Irene has started doing physical things to the bed.  The other night when I sat on the edge of my side of the bed to take my boots off, I felt something Irene-size and weight plop onto the bed.  My dogs are both small Pekingese, and the heaviest is 17 lbs.  I had my eyes on both of them and it wasn't them. Yesterday I was laying down to do some visualization with Irene, which often ends up being a nap.  I had an important business teleconference meeting at noon, so I set the alarm by the bed at 11:40.  Every time I was drifting off to sleep, Irene bumped the bed. It was not lightly - it felt like she was standing by it, on her side, thumping it with her body like you might do to wake someone up. This happened five times, and each time it was right when I was drifting off to sleep.  I was glad for it to happen because it kept me conscious and I could continue with our visualization.  At about 11 I went ahead and got up to eat something and get ready for...

The Love After Life Facebook group had a Zoom meeting yesterday and in it Kim LaCapria brought up a point that got me to thinking more about grief.  Her point was that a transdimensional relationship is not really that much different from most relationships.  In most relationships, especially those that are last a while, we may spend only a small amount of time actually touching and talking with/to our partners.  The largest part of our happiness and sense of wholeness with our partner, while they are still living, is often just the knowledge that they are with us, a sense of them being present and in our lives. We may be in different rooms, or at work, one of us indoors and the other outside, one of us visiting family and friends, etc.  We also may not sleep all piled up or cuddled up on each other most of the time. So, a large portion of our day may probably doesn't consist of being in any kind of vocal, sight or physical contact. If our loved one went out of t...

The synchronicities, major and minor, have been really coming on strong lately.  A lot of them have to do with the Love After Life Facebook and Zoom groups I'm involved with, weaving in their experiences and information.  For instance, when I got home from the store Monday, there was this enormous dragonfly with its wing caught in my screen door.  Apparently, it got caught by the wing when I left and the door swung shut. It was fine - it flew off when I opened it. It felt sufficiently weird that I posted it in the FB group.  I didn't feel particularly connected to it other than I really felt that it might be part of another synchronistic event chain. Immediately after I posted it one of the group members drew my attention to the Kevin Costner movie, Dragonfly .   How could I have forgotten that? Irene and I had watched that movie together, although it was many years ago.  It's all about how the main character is getting signs and synchronicities from ...