Love After Life

I think it might be because I got into an argument on a blog and those arguments have always left me feeling emotionally drained and somewhat unstable. I really need to stay away from that - I hadn't done any of that in probably a year and I don't even know why I went back to that blog and engaged. Anyway, I got to missing Irene again today, but feeling sad and crying for a few minutes wasn't really a bad thing.  It got me to thinking about how far we've come, what we've accomplished so far in a very short period of time. It's really remarkable when you think about it. As emotionally committed as I am to her, and as constantly together as we were, and as much as she means to me, the fact that now, four months later, I'm fully happy most of the time is nothing short of astonishing.  I can't overstate this.  I should have been completely destroyed by Irene's death.  I should be inconsolable and utterly miserable all day every day.  There have been da...

I can't believe how great I feel today. I feel chemically transformed, like I'm someone new. I feel like a young man who just fell in love, like I did when Irene and I first met.  Thinking of her and joining her in the astral world fills me with such excitement and anticipation!  This is the feeling I had for those two weeks just after she died - the time of grace I was given to show me what our relationship could be like even with us in two different dimensions. I just didn't know what it was at the time or how it could possibly come to be real. Yet, here I am, feeling absolutely like the luckiest guy in the universe - I know who the love of my existence is; I know where she is; I know I'll be with her soon; I know we'll be able to spend eternity living our ideal life.  Unbelievable. It's really an amazing feeling. I had no expectation I could actually get to this point.  I don't know if it will last, but to be here and know it is a reality can, I think, ...

I walked the dogs earlier and while outside I got to thinking about some of the AREI information and how it corresponded to some things I had been thinking about; about how I needed to learn to beef up my ability to trust, have faith, and use my intuition.  This is something Irene kept trying to tell me our entire time together here, and something we experienced over and over - to pray, intend, and affirm, but then to trust that the things that unfolded for us were leading us where we wanted to go even though it may not seem like it. Our role in the unfolding is simply to walk down the path as it does so, not to try to make things happen the way we think they ought, or to try to hurry it up - no matter how impatient we may be. One of my issues has always been over-thinking things - as I've talked about in the past in this blog.  I think it's probably pretty hard for Irene or my spirit guides to put images or thoughts in my head when I keep it occupied all the time. I realize...

I feel like I ought to explain a little about the "alternate reality" and "reality creation" stuff I've started talking about.  Sometimes I forget to provide enough context for people I don't know to make sense of what I'm saying or writing about. I have a couple of philosophy books - Anarchic Harmony and Unconditional Freedom - that were published in the mid-90's, both of which are out of print now.  In those books I described breaking out of socially-constructed thoughts and beliefs and living fearlessly from your own perspective and how I believed the world around you would move itself around to accommodate you. Well before I wrote those books, and before the car accident that should have killed us all (but which we stepped out of with very minor injuries), Irene and I were driving through the small country town we had met in on our way to the city for something and she suddenly told me to stop and back up.  I backed up and we were in front o...