Love After Life

This morning I felt awful physically.  I must have had a bug or something.  Mentally I was pretty much completely apathetic.  I did my morning prayers and attempted to meditate, but couldn't do anything but think about work so I took a couple of antihistamines and went back to bed. I woke up and still didn't feel very good, so I just told myself to be disciplined, don't do anything stupid  like eat too much or start going down memory lane or smoke more than allowed.  I remembered that some days my job is to just not do anything self-destructive.  I stayed disciplined and slowly got to feeling better and better. At around noon I was able to start working and shortly thereafter was able to meditate. Irene or Thomas have been telling me to get back to writing on my book, which I've paused doing because I didn't feel well either emotionally or physically.  I've had a couple of weird encounters with a squirrel in my yard - I don't know what that's abou...

Yesterday was a little rough - nothing real serious, just a bit of a pity-party now and then for most of the afternoon and evening.  I think I've got a combination of allergies and - something I haven't written in here yet - I started smoking again a bit a couple of weeks ago, maybe 6-8 American Spirit cigarettes a day.  I enjoy going out and sitting on the swing, smoking and talking to Irene. It feels like an easy way to connect to her.  She was a smoker.  I wasn't when we met, except for an occasional cigar.  I picked it up several years after we got married. I think that 6-8 a day was probably too much and the tobacco acted as a depressant and worked with the allergies to make me more susceptible to sad vibrations.  I really enjoy being able to sit outside on the swing in the garden area Ivori and I created in the front yard under the magnolia tree, so once I get to feeling better I might try keeping it down to 3 or 4 cigarettes a day.  Prior to t...

This is hilarious and amazing.  So if you have been following, a few days ago while meditation and visualizing Irene, she said ""Well let me introduce you to your spirit guide, Thomas." That was so odd it jumped out at me and I stopped meditating.  I asked for confirmation and got what I thought was an okay confirmation, but not spectacular or all that convincing at the time.  So since then when I talk to my spirit guide (rarely) I refer to him as "Thomas, if that is indeed your name, seeing as you won't provide a good confirmation." It's kind of how I joke around with him. Now, I've got a cell phone, but I hardly ever use it.  When I do I usually have all kinds of spam texts and voice messages I have to delete.  Today I was going to call my friend up to see if he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow and I had about 20 unread text messages, which I usually delete without even looking at.  Mostly they are just charge notifications from my bank. One sta...

I've been getting a lot of new information through "irene".  I can't express here enough what that imagined time with her is doing for me now that I believe I am actually connecting to her - it's so satisfying, calming, fun, informative, and it makes me very, very happy.  The information coming in  is extremely interesting.  Yesterday she was telling me about how my "presence" there is still a very light presence, that there are a lot of things there I'm not present enough yet to sense. One thing she said was that our house - the structure, the things in it - when you're fully over there, you can feel these things when you touch them to a much more intense degree than things you touch in the physical world.  She showed me how she used to tell me how she knew what things to get, or what to put in the house or get rid of by how they "spoke" to her. She told me when she first saw this house that it "hugged" her when she walked ...