Love After Life

I've been thinking about thought, speech, imagery and focusing attention/intention. I was thinking about what happens when you're talking. Most "talking" is an automatic process -  you're in a conversation and things occur to you to say and you say them. But, do you construct the sentence, or the paragraph, in your mind before talking?  Have you worked out all the words you are going to say, and in what order?  Do you fully work out an idea before saying it or writing it down? The same thing goes on when I'm writing. I'm not thinking out the sentence before I write it, or the whole paragraph before I start.  I haven't even articulated the whole idea in my mind before I feel confident that I've got something "in its entirety" I'm about to express. So, what is going on? I have a sensation in my mind when I'm about to express myself, as if I've found the thought or idea or information I want to express (even without conscious...

I can't believe how great I feel today. I feel chemically transformed, like I'm someone new. I feel like a young man who just fell in love, like I did when Irene and I first met.  Thinking of her and joining her in the astral world fills me with such excitement and anticipation!  This is the feeling I had for those two weeks just after she died - the time of grace I was given to show me what our relationship could be like even with us in two different dimensions. I just didn't know what it was at the time or how it could possibly come to be real. Yet, here I am, feeling absolutely like the luckiest guy in the universe - I know who the love of my existence is; I know where she is; I know I'll be with her soon; I know we'll be able to spend eternity living our ideal life.  Unbelievable. It's really an amazing feeling. I had no expectation I could actually get to this point.  I don't know if it will last, but to be here and know it is a reality can, I think, ...

I went to sleep last night thinking about sleep and how it is the perfect vehicle for astral traveling and projection. You are already going into a deep, relaxed state prone to altered forms of consciousness; you are in a perfectly relaxed position where your body is safe for hours to come; and I've read where you actually do astral travel almost every night to speak with your spirit guides - but you don't remember it.  Also, in my case, I've already had a couple of fully conscious vision events after falling asleep. This morning I woke up feeling great, happy, and like I was perfectly balanced.  I could feel the emotion and appreciation in me again.  It's perfectly normal to miss Irene; I don't want that feeling to disappear.  I like the feeling of anticipation and excited longing to see her, hear her and hold her, and my appreciation for when we are together, just like any time we were apart in life.  My angst and rebellion is gone about why I'm still here...

The weather got cooler today and it was raining.  You'd think that'd help, but sudden changes in the weather was always something that put both of us in weird moods.  I've gotten through the day okay with meditations and prayers and affirmations, but early I was highly unappreciative of my current situation and had to work myself towards a more appreciative perspective.  I started watching some more spiritual videos and found myself appreciating the fact that I live in an age where all kinds of spiritual information and guidance is right at hand. One of the things I've been puzzled about is why we (Irene and I) came here in the first place. I mean, with so many options available, why actually incarnate on Earth and go through the loss of memory, the limited perspective, the inevitable physical and emotional pain, the doubt, the fear, failing bodies, etc?  The past few days I've become increasingly irritated by that question. Last night and this morning I was talki...