I Asked To Know, And I Got Shown
The weather got cooler today and it was raining. You'd think that'd help, but sudden changes in the weather was always something that put both of us in weird moods. I've gotten through the day okay with meditations and prayers and affirmations, but early I was highly unappreciative of my current situation and had to work myself towards a more appreciative perspective. I started watching some more spiritual videos and found myself appreciating the fact that I live in an age where all kinds of spiritual information and guidance is right at hand.
One of the things I've been puzzled about is why we (Irene and I) came here in the first place. I mean, with so many options available, why actually incarnate on Earth and go through the loss of memory, the limited perspective, the inevitable physical and emotional pain, the doubt, the fear, failing bodies, etc? The past few days I've become increasingly irritated by that question. Last night and this morning I was talking out loud under the premise that my spirit guides were listening, asking: Why don't you guys just tell me why I would come here? What possible reason could there be to incarnate physically in this world and endure what we must here? This is nonsense!
And also, what the heck am I supposed to do now that my soul mate is no longer here physically? To be honest, the only "purpose" I felt in life was what I felt in relation to being with Irene. Is my purpose now to share this story? To help others in some way through their grief or to maybe bring a few people in contact with spiritual teachings? To just "be here" for the kids and grandkids, helping them out whenever I can? To do my job - which is a great job, I admit, but is it a purpose to keep living for? None of it made any sense. I don't feel connected to any "spiritual advancement" and I honestly doubt I would come here for anyone other than Irene - so why would we come here? We can learn and grow on the other side. Maybe not as fast, but who cares? It's better than coming here.
If we planned this out, there must be a reason why I'm still here. It may be a reason I can't really understand from the perspective of this world. That's pretty much what I thought I'd have to be "satisfied" with. The ever-unsatisfying "it's beyond your current capacity to understand".
I watched a Teal Swan video that was talking about appreciation, and another about soulmates. My thoughts were drawn to something Irene and I had talked about many times - about how we were able to really appreciate each other so much because of what we had both been through before with respect to our two failed marriages (each). I often joked that I greatly appreciated her two exes because they set the bar pretty low. We were also able to deeply appreciate everything positive - no matter how small - that came into our lives because we had both experienced such lack in many regards. It made us very, very grateful for what we had - especially for what we had found in each other.
One of the things we kept in mind from something we had to work through early on in our relationship was to never take each other for granted - to be able to fully appreciate each other. Recently, when meditating, and visiting Irene, I often tried to think of things that we could do to keep our love at a high intensity on the other side because I wondered if lovers come to this world to forget each other in order to refresh the "newness" of their relationship by meeting again. I wanted to figure out how to avoid that so we wouldn't have to come here again.
One of the videos said that appreciation is the same vibration as love. It's the drawing into you of the thing you appreciate as a valued part of yourself. From experience, though, I know that nothing induces appreciation like lack or loss. When you gain a thing after a prior experience of knowing you lack that thing, you appreciate it more and that appreciation endures. Irene and I never took anything we gained in this life for granted - we lived in an appreciation of everything good in our life. The thing about true appreciation is how good it makes you feel when you can feel truly blessed and happy about a thing even though you've had it for a long time, because you will never forget what it was like to not have it in your life.
I mean, it thrilled Irene to be able to buy $2 flip-flops at the Dollar General. She loved having central heat in the winter. She was grateful for a roof that didn't leak. She never took any of it for granted.
So, once again I was wondering what would be of so much value that a perfectly sane spirit, in Heaven, would willingly choose to incarnate into the physical world, and I realized right then what it was. In order to truly appreciate what we have on the other side, we must know what it is like to not have it. There is no "theory" of "not having it", nor any "simulation" of "not having it" that can provide you the knowledge of what it is like to actually not have what we have in Heaven - the sense of connection, love, what all we have available to us there, the lack of entropy, the beauty, the joy, our idealized body state and health, a knowledge of our immortality - none of that can be truly appreciated, with any real meaning or value, until you you experience what it is like to actually not have those things.
The only way to do that is to come here, lose your memory of those things, and endure a mortal life without knowledge of those very fundamental and beautiful things - a life of profound spiritual lack, even if we have every comfort this world can provide.
Even more profound in generating an intense appreciation is the sense of loss. You're familiar with the saying, "you don't know what you have until you lose it". It's one thing to live and never meet your soul mate, then to return to heaven and be reunited; it's another to live for a time here without your soul mate, find them, spend some time in that kind of incredible union and then experience the loss of your soul mate. There's nothing that can possibly, indelibly carve appreciation for another into our hearts better than to have them, love them deeply and then lose them.
That realization swept all over me. I asked my spirit guides why I came here and why I remain here, and they led me to the realization in a way that I could really feel and understand. It's not to write this blog in particular or do my job or anything else; I chose to come here so that I could, for eternity, deeply feel appreciation for all that we have on the other side, and so that I would always have in my heart a profoundly deep appreciation for just how much Irene means to me. To obtain that, I would definitely have come here and endured this experience.
One of the things I've been puzzled about is why we (Irene and I) came here in the first place. I mean, with so many options available, why actually incarnate on Earth and go through the loss of memory, the limited perspective, the inevitable physical and emotional pain, the doubt, the fear, failing bodies, etc? The past few days I've become increasingly irritated by that question. Last night and this morning I was talking out loud under the premise that my spirit guides were listening, asking: Why don't you guys just tell me why I would come here? What possible reason could there be to incarnate physically in this world and endure what we must here? This is nonsense!
And also, what the heck am I supposed to do now that my soul mate is no longer here physically? To be honest, the only "purpose" I felt in life was what I felt in relation to being with Irene. Is my purpose now to share this story? To help others in some way through their grief or to maybe bring a few people in contact with spiritual teachings? To just "be here" for the kids and grandkids, helping them out whenever I can? To do my job - which is a great job, I admit, but is it a purpose to keep living for? None of it made any sense. I don't feel connected to any "spiritual advancement" and I honestly doubt I would come here for anyone other than Irene - so why would we come here? We can learn and grow on the other side. Maybe not as fast, but who cares? It's better than coming here.
If we planned this out, there must be a reason why I'm still here. It may be a reason I can't really understand from the perspective of this world. That's pretty much what I thought I'd have to be "satisfied" with. The ever-unsatisfying "it's beyond your current capacity to understand".
I watched a Teal Swan video that was talking about appreciation, and another about soulmates. My thoughts were drawn to something Irene and I had talked about many times - about how we were able to really appreciate each other so much because of what we had both been through before with respect to our two failed marriages (each). I often joked that I greatly appreciated her two exes because they set the bar pretty low. We were also able to deeply appreciate everything positive - no matter how small - that came into our lives because we had both experienced such lack in many regards. It made us very, very grateful for what we had - especially for what we had found in each other.
One of the things we kept in mind from something we had to work through early on in our relationship was to never take each other for granted - to be able to fully appreciate each other. Recently, when meditating, and visiting Irene, I often tried to think of things that we could do to keep our love at a high intensity on the other side because I wondered if lovers come to this world to forget each other in order to refresh the "newness" of their relationship by meeting again. I wanted to figure out how to avoid that so we wouldn't have to come here again.
One of the videos said that appreciation is the same vibration as love. It's the drawing into you of the thing you appreciate as a valued part of yourself. From experience, though, I know that nothing induces appreciation like lack or loss. When you gain a thing after a prior experience of knowing you lack that thing, you appreciate it more and that appreciation endures. Irene and I never took anything we gained in this life for granted - we lived in an appreciation of everything good in our life. The thing about true appreciation is how good it makes you feel when you can feel truly blessed and happy about a thing even though you've had it for a long time, because you will never forget what it was like to not have it in your life.
I mean, it thrilled Irene to be able to buy $2 flip-flops at the Dollar General. She loved having central heat in the winter. She was grateful for a roof that didn't leak. She never took any of it for granted.
So, once again I was wondering what would be of so much value that a perfectly sane spirit, in Heaven, would willingly choose to incarnate into the physical world, and I realized right then what it was. In order to truly appreciate what we have on the other side, we must know what it is like to not have it. There is no "theory" of "not having it", nor any "simulation" of "not having it" that can provide you the knowledge of what it is like to actually not have what we have in Heaven - the sense of connection, love, what all we have available to us there, the lack of entropy, the beauty, the joy, our idealized body state and health, a knowledge of our immortality - none of that can be truly appreciated, with any real meaning or value, until you you experience what it is like to actually not have those things.
The only way to do that is to come here, lose your memory of those things, and endure a mortal life without knowledge of those very fundamental and beautiful things - a life of profound spiritual lack, even if we have every comfort this world can provide.
Even more profound in generating an intense appreciation is the sense of loss. You're familiar with the saying, "you don't know what you have until you lose it". It's one thing to live and never meet your soul mate, then to return to heaven and be reunited; it's another to live for a time here without your soul mate, find them, spend some time in that kind of incredible union and then experience the loss of your soul mate. There's nothing that can possibly, indelibly carve appreciation for another into our hearts better than to have them, love them deeply and then lose them.
That realization swept all over me. I asked my spirit guides why I came here and why I remain here, and they led me to the realization in a way that I could really feel and understand. It's not to write this blog in particular or do my job or anything else; I chose to come here so that I could, for eternity, deeply feel appreciation for all that we have on the other side, and so that I would always have in my heart a profoundly deep appreciation for just how much Irene means to me. To obtain that, I would definitely have come here and endured this experience.
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