Love After Life

Early on, I realized something that was triggering my grief was an emotional sensation whenever I felt Irene or focused on her. There would be an instant of this really beautiful feeling, immediately followed by indescribable grief. As time went on, I learned to focus on that first feeling as the grief was taken away by other practices we've talked about and have materials on - affirmations, imagination, visualization and techniques involving meditation. As the grief subsided there were other psychological issues to deal with just because there was no information, structure out there that would have helped me understand what I was going through. I would feel panic and guilt that I was "moving on", or that I was losing connection, or that she might think I didn't love her as much, or that I was dishonoring our relationship somehow. It's not at all rational, but it's not exactly a rational experience.  We worked through those things into the confident...

The Love After Life Facebook group had a Zoom meeting yesterday and in it Kim LaCapria brought up a point that got me to thinking more about grief.  Her point was that a transdimensional relationship is not really that much different from most relationships.  In most relationships, especially those that are last a while, we may spend only a small amount of time actually touching and talking with/to our partners.  The largest part of our happiness and sense of wholeness with our partner, while they are still living, is often just the knowledge that they are with us, a sense of them being present and in our lives. We may be in different rooms, or at work, one of us indoors and the other outside, one of us visiting family and friends, etc.  We also may not sleep all piled up or cuddled up on each other most of the time. So, a large portion of our day may probably doesn't consist of being in any kind of vocal, sight or physical contact. If our loved one went out of t...

I blame Kim LaCapria for triggering the following, which is a channeled download. As always, I apologize for the authoritarian tone and pease, take what resonates and dismss the rest: I'll be using the term "mind" for the most part, but others can substitute "soul" our "spirit" if those terms better fit their perspective in the following post. Most people think of mind in terms of a distinct three-dimensional construct, probably because the culture deeply associates the mind with the physical brain.  Those of us involved in the afterlife community understand that the mind is not the brain, because it survives death and continues on - same personality, same memories, but not in any essential way equivalent to the physical brain.  Therefore, memories, thoughts, our personalities, ideas emotional connections do not represent physically located and physically caused phenomena. In my old Eastern Indian philosophy, the core essence of an individual was...

My co-admin at the Facebook group Love After Life and co-host of the Zoom (video teleconferencing) group Mary Beth Spann Mank and I have been creating Love After Life Workshop videos.  We started this project because it is very difficult to schedule a convenient time for the people from around the world to meet up via the internet to go through the workshop we created to help people go through the process of creating a happy, fulfilling transdimensional relationship with our crossed-over soul-mates. I never really thought we'd get to the point where we are now, with 150 members of our Facebook group and weekly Zoom meetings with several group members in attendance every week. I had no idea there would be this many people who wanted to keep their relationship going after their partner's death.  We currently have a medium attending the Zoom meetings and she has been very beneficial to some members there, and she recently joined our FB group as she also has a crossed-over sweethe...

In our Zoom Group one of the participants said something that got me to thinking - about how many people say they want contact with their crossed-over loved one, but are unwilling to put in much effort to make it happen. From my own experience, I can say that a problem that I had to wrestle with in going down the path of developing a good transdimensional relationship with Irene was fear of failure. Sometimes I felt like it was just easier to hold on to the pain and live as best I could that way instead of compounding it by trying to develop communication and interaction with her and failing. Every time I reached a new place of reduced grief and sorrow was like a tiny ledge on a sheer rock wall I was attempting to climb, a place I just wanted to set up camp and stay instead of risking it all by trying to go further. That's basic survival instinct - even if a state of existence is painful, if you can at least survive in that state, it's hard to risk it for the unknown. ...

Three nights out of the past week I've had dreams of Irene.  I can't describe how excited this makes me! Last night she appeared, and I recognized from my waking consciousness perspective and go so excited I woke up because I realized that I was having another dream about her.  My excitement was not primarily about seeing her, but rather that we were having such success just in appearing with each other in the dream world. Talking out on the porch, I told her not to worry about me getting excited and waking up and not getting enough sleep - I can always take a nap or two.  Let's just keep doing it and I'll work out my end of it as far as becoming more aware in the dream and controlling my emotional response so I can help keep our dream meeting place intact. This past Sunday I attended a Zoom group where the speaker talked about the so-called "Five Stages of Grief"associated with Elisabeth Kubler Ross, which was originally only intended to describe the kind...

Yesterday, the 11th, exactly 10 months since Irene crossed over, was the most perfect day.  She made her presence known all day long, filling me with visions and euphoria so many times I lost count.  She turned the TV channel to her favorite show again.  We had such fantastic interactions in our visualizations.  I might as well have had her in my arms physically when I took a nap around noon, the feeling was so complete.  Towards the end of the day I sat with her out on the porch and was entirely satisfied, happy, whole and complete, even though I have a great anticipation for what is to come. I don't feel that anticipation as any sense of lack at all. I honestly do not feel any "missing her" or any "forlorn longing" for Irene anymore. I don't even find myself "wishing she was here" - apparently, every part of me, physically and psychologically, knows she is actually with me all the time - it's just a question of getting us both totally tune...

There's an emotion I feel often which I refer to as the sensation of coming into frequency contact with Irene.  It began many months ago, if you go back and read the blog, as a panic-attack like feeling in my upper chest and throat, but it wasn't entirely a bad feeling - I immediately thought it felt like Irene was close and it was affecting me negatively because of my grief and sorrow.  As time has progressed, that sensation has slowly changed, no longer triggering my grief or intense feelings of loss or self-pity.  I've thought about how to try to describe it, and I'm going to give it a shot here. Most of the sensation is a powerful sense of appreciation borne of loss of that which I value most. It is not just "appreciation", which is a great feeling in itself, but it is a form of appreciation that is very deep and meaningful, an appreciation you can only have after losing that which you love the most.  It is only then that you can know how much that which...

Getting back into my routine is proving harder than I thought, with a lot of visits from family and errands that have to be run popping up.  The good news is that even though I've only been able to meditate one or two times a day, it hasn't affected me negatively in any overall sense.  That's really an amazing accomplishment that needs to be recognized and appreciated because it is so easy to take "normalcy" for granted.  It wasn't that long ago I was struggling with the very idea of feeling normal and was fighting back pain and anxiety every day. Looking back at those times when I was in the grip of grief and extreme sorrow, I could not even begin to believe that my current state was something I would achieve before the end of the year, if ever.  It didn't seem possible, and I wouldn't have even been able to imagine it had I not been given those two weeks of grace after Irene crossed over.  Here I am, though, not only feeling good, connected, whole...

I had a rough patch yesterday for about 30 minutes - not grief, just longing sadness mixed in, I think, with a little self-pity.  Honestly, I think all the driving and out-of-routine events from the trip to Austin caught up with me, along with some other family situations. However, I still feel quite blessed that it only added up to about a half hour of being upset. I asked for help and meditated, and felt better.  Yeah, that's right - I ask for help all the time.  There's no escaping it, I'm a drama queen now.  I'm just not going to worry about it - if I feel like asking for help, I'm just going to do it, and then thank everyone on the other side profusely for indulging me. In the evening I found myself at the computer and realized it was about time for an AREI meeting they were having on signs and joined in.  There were more people this time, it was pretty amazing.  By the time the meeting was over I realized that if I wanted to be a good facilitator ...

Another really busy family day Sunday so I didn't have the time or energy to blog yesterday, but it was a good day. The key word and idea the past couple of days has been "allowing".  Even when things are going well, I still overthink and try to come up with solutions to problems that don't even exist.  For example, sometimes when I wake up I feel completely ambivalent about praying and meditating, and I immediately characterize it as a problem I need to solve. I consider it a "problem" because I'm worried that feeling ambivalent is the beginning of a trend, that I'm going to lose my connection to Irene and the desire to blog or write anything about this journey or my experiences or thoughts..  It never happens - the ambivalence I feel some days always passes whether I obsess about it or not, but my mind refuses to just let it go. Of course, when I think about how things could be, such as being wracked with grief or having serious health issue...

Last night I asked for help in astral projection and to have dreams I could remember and would be helpful in that attempt and the continued strengthening of the connection between me and Irene, and also to open me up to more help from my spirit team. Waking up about 3:30 a.m. or so, I stayed up a little bit deciding what to do. I had read that it's best to attempt astral projection after you wake up but before your body and mind has time to go into full wakefulness mode. So I lay back down to try to get into the "drifting off" state they described but not to actually fall asleep.  That was relatively easy since I had two cups of decaf before going to bed and I kept having to use the bathroom! Irene was in one of the dreams; someone was helping me look through a book of images and there was one with Irene, and as I looked it turned into a video of her walking through what looked like a mall with my brother, his wife and my sister. I was looking at the scene from high a...

What a day I had yesterday.  So sorry I wasn't able to post, but I by the time I got home I was really too drained to do anything with my brain other than eat, walk the dogs and go to sleep early. We had a meeting with an attorney over some of the issues that came crashing into our lives earlier this week and that took longer than expected.  I can't get into any of it here, but let's just say it's something that would ordinarily be very, very stressful, even though it didn't directly involve me.  I never really felt stressed, although my mind was more on those issues than anything else, and I kept having to refocus on our happy frequency again and again.  It did keep me feeling centered and really rather removed from the situation. Also, driving tends to wear me out and I ran other errands in town, so I'm sure that contributed to the draining fatigue I felt yesterday evening. Other than that, though, I felt great mentally and emotionally - I didn't crash...

So far today my time with Irene has been excellent, our interactions gaining an atmospheric quality that feels more authentic.  While laying down for a rest and visualizing this morning, other people - children - were with us outside at our island home. I didn't recognize them, there were at least two of them.  I wasn't asleep, but I was in that semi-conscious state where dream-like scenarios play out briefly.  Usually when that happens, though, it seems to be in random locations with random things going on until I catch my wandering mind and put it back on track. During a later meditation when I visualized us we were in that same location. Irene usually appears in a colorful swimsuit lately (and no, I didn't direct that to be the case, it just started happening), but this time she was dressed more elaborately.  It was something like a fantasy version of an Arabian princess.  I didn't deliberately do that, either, but I did remember us talking before - I don'...

I finished the first draft of my book, Transdimensional Love and I'm preparing it for a round of proofreading, editing and criticism.  It shouldn't be much longer before it is ready to be posted here since it is very concise and gets right to the process I used to overcome grief and reclaim my happy, satisfying relationship with Irene. Today was pretty much an all-kids day so there wasn't much time to meditate or work, and my routine was thrown way off without any naps, but even around my danger hour of 6:00 pm I was pretty much okay.  That's about when I able to meditate for the second time, the first one coming early this morning.  All in all I feel pretty good and I know Irene is happy about my spending the day with the kids.  I am looking forward to another astral projection attempt as I fall asleep here in a bit; that half-conscious state is becoming a good source of feeling connected. The main focus for me now is focusing on the positive empowerment of our...

Yesterday I watched a few minutes of a movie that reminded me of that documentary about kids in Indonesia who dig snakes out of holes all day to sell for enough money for food for their families.  Talk about putting me in an attitude of gratitude and appreciation!  When I think I could have been dealing with the passing of my wife and having to do something like that all day long just to survive and no air conditioning or central heat and not have enough food and not have instant access to books and videos, etc. ... it kind of makes any self-pity or sorrow on my part seem laughably self-indulgent. So, boy, yeah, I had a big prayer of gratitude this morning. Also yesterday I was thinking I needed to find something else to read to keep using that method of tuning in to the frequency state I want. This morning in the Afterlife group, I found that Cyrus had posted a list of books to read on the subject, and others had contributed quite a few books. Someone suggested on...

Something I have found that I have to keep in mind is not to assign too much significance to simply feeling bad or sad.  Today hasn't been a great day.  I'm working on getting the title transfer for the truck and felt sad for a while a few times.  The air is thick and hot and I was up late watching the game with one of my sons.  Meditation has been great and I've stuck to my routine, but I just don't feel as good as I have been. That's normal life, however.  Sometimes you don't feel good.  We all have things we can feel sad about from time to time.  Not everything needs to be put into context of what "the problem" may be with my efforts to increase communication with Irene.  There's no reason to assume there is any problem. Some sadness about our situation is completely normal and reflective of my longing to be with her in the Astral; again, it's what one would expect even under normal circumstances of being apart from your loved one. Somet...

There was a healthy debate in the Afterlife Topics group about the nature of relationships and existence when someone said something I've heard time and time again - that relationships don't last forever and there there is no such thing as an "eternal", committed, romantic soul mate relationship. I started wondering about why someone would say that or believe it.  I don't see that there's a logical reason why such relationships cannot exist.  It seems that many people are committed to the idea that all relationships either boil down to the individual and god, the individual and the universe, the individual's relationship to everyone else as a whole, or just everyone and everything as "one", either in constant eternal fluctuation or, at some level, some form of unified, pure bliss where there is no sense of individual identity. I remember before I met Irene I had utterly dispatched the idea of "true love", or any "soul mate...

Update 7-22-2018 On Friday, July 20, 2018, we achieved our goal of having a completely real astral visitation with each other. It was amazing!  I never lost consciousness transitioning from this dimension to the one where we are together.  The conversation we were having telepathically in our bed here flowed seamlessly into my actually being in a room, sitting next to her, having that same conversation with her.  Although I was conscious when my experiential scene flipped from lying in bed to sitting on a couch in a room next her, it took me several minutes to become fully cognizant of the fact that I was actually feeling the couch, actually seeing her and everything else (including my own hands when I gestured while talking).  I could hear her voice and mine. You can read more about it starting here. (Updated 12-18-2017 - WJM - New Sequential Post Archive Started & Book Now Available on Amazon) I have posted my book,  "Love After Life," so it can...

After getting into some rather involved discussions in a Facebook group, I felt "off" - not say or down, but just confused and out of sorts.  I spent a lot of time yesterday with Irene talking about it, and it led to discussions about several other things - what she and are doing, how we are going about doing it, the nature of our existence and relationship. It brought to mind the memory of all the times we did this while she was here. We'd start talking about something casually, then the discussion would turn philosophical in some ways, she'd pull her legs up to a cross legged position and light up a cigarette, I'd do the same, and then we would talk for hours, sometimes all night long.  She told me so many times how much she loved the fact that we could talk about such things, how fun and interesting it was.  I was so happy to have this beautiful woman staying up all night talking with me about such things, like a dream come true. We would also talk about wh...