What An Amazing Day
Yesterday, the 11th, exactly 10 months since Irene crossed over, was the most perfect day. She made her presence known all day long, filling me with visions and euphoria so many times I lost count. She turned the TV channel to her favorite show again. We had such fantastic interactions in our visualizations. I might as well have had her in my arms physically when I took a nap around noon, the feeling was so complete. Towards the end of the day I sat with her out on the porch and was entirely satisfied, happy, whole and complete, even though I have a great anticipation for what is to come.
I don't feel that anticipation as any sense of lack at all. I honestly do not feel any "missing her" or any "forlorn longing" for Irene anymore. I don't even find myself "wishing she was here" - apparently, every part of me, physically and psychologically, knows she is actually with me all the time - it's just a question of getting us both totally tuned in to the same frequency.
This feels much like before Irene crossed over, when she would be outside tending her garden and I'd be in my office working. I didn't see her or hear her voice during those times, but I knew right where she was and there was no negative sense of lack or sadness. I knew she was with me and that I could see her, talk to her, hold her and kiss her any time - and the same is true now. In visualizations we can do whatever we used to do (and much more!) and it is apparently having the same impact on me, physically and psychologically, as before she crossed over.
I say it feels "much" like before she crossed over because her crossing has imbued me with a much heightened sense of appreciation for her. The grief laid bare the deep love I have for her and how much she means to me, so her presence now fills me with a great, euphoric emotion that is impossible to describe. It fills my heart and my head at the same time, and washes a great sense of peace and excitement throughout my body. Honestly, I feel like I have an embarrassment of riches - it is so delicious, so incredibly comforting, and so very exciting.
I don't feel that anticipation as any sense of lack at all. I honestly do not feel any "missing her" or any "forlorn longing" for Irene anymore. I don't even find myself "wishing she was here" - apparently, every part of me, physically and psychologically, knows she is actually with me all the time - it's just a question of getting us both totally tuned in to the same frequency.
This feels much like before Irene crossed over, when she would be outside tending her garden and I'd be in my office working. I didn't see her or hear her voice during those times, but I knew right where she was and there was no negative sense of lack or sadness. I knew she was with me and that I could see her, talk to her, hold her and kiss her any time - and the same is true now. In visualizations we can do whatever we used to do (and much more!) and it is apparently having the same impact on me, physically and psychologically, as before she crossed over.
I say it feels "much" like before she crossed over because her crossing has imbued me with a much heightened sense of appreciation for her. The grief laid bare the deep love I have for her and how much she means to me, so her presence now fills me with a great, euphoric emotion that is impossible to describe. It fills my heart and my head at the same time, and washes a great sense of peace and excitement throughout my body. Honestly, I feel like I have an embarrassment of riches - it is so delicious, so incredibly comforting, and so very exciting.
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