Love After Life

One of the things that came up the past few days in our visualizations for the new book was the bedroom in our castle, and one thing I noticed was that the bed was now different from our current king size bed - it was much bigger and round, and one of the aspects of the afterlife I describe in the book is how, in the presence of romantic love, the surroundings become more ornate and beautiful - including how wooden structures will self-carve beautiful, ornate designs in that situation. Another thing that has come up several times recently is the phrase "fairy tale," which several synchronistic events have used in relation to the castle we live in ( see yesterday's pos t).  Irene and I often thought our life together here on Earth was like a fairy tale come true, "the reality is better than the fantasy."   Irene is also a seahorse fanatic. A movie I watched at lunch yesterday was about a man trying to find the love of his life who had disappeared.  He...

So what I'm excited to be doing now along with writing my new book is developing what I call "Alternative Dimensional Transition Methodology", or ADTM for short. It's based on the framework outlined previously in the Identity Matrix Model of Reality ( Part 1 & Part 2 ), supported by the Craig Hogan videos (President of AREI), which views the "external world" as being, in actuality, non-physical in nature, but rather an "Experiential Reality", as Mr. Hogan describes it. Most of our afterlife nomenclature and modeling revolves around there being actual realities outside of mind.  We use terms like levels of spirit realms, worlds, vibrational levels, etc.  We think of NDE and OOBE experiences as "leaving the body" or moving from one actual physical location to another. Death is characterized as leaving this world and going somewhere else.  I think words and terms used from this model may be inefficient in many cases. I don't li...

Something I've found pretty interesting lately is my sensitivity to frequency changes.  There is a "home" frequency or "vibration" that Irene and I have; the more attuned to it I am, the better I can feel our connection and the easier it is to visualize our interactions.  Whenever I am around other people, though, and whenever I talk to others online, I notice it changes my personal frequency and, while I can still feel good, it's not our home "happy place" frequency, as Irene would say. Now, I can get there immediately by simply doing a visualization, so it's not a big deal. I've also noticed, however, that the same thing can happen when there is a change in the weather.  I can actually feel it as a change in a sort of internal vibrational frequency which is accompanied by a slight change in mood and thought. The past couple of days have been unseasonably warm and that almost always throws me slightly off.  Yesterday I had to reset the...

Yesterday, in a great mood after a nice nap, I felt like meditating.  As soon as I started I felt totally buzzed and high, yet this meditation was subtly different than most.  I was at a place, a sensation of feeling free somehow, like I was no longer sitting cross-legged on my couch.  It felt like I was in a vibrational pattern, my body and mind tuned in to it, and I was exploring that vibration.  There were nuances of experience in that vibrational range that I could explore in the sense of feeling slight changes in my perception of it and of myself in it.   I felt absolutely no desire or need to stop meditating, which usually occurs at the 10-20 minute mark. I was thoroughly enjoying this, but more, it felt like I was actually doing something really interesting - like it was a place I could explore, investigating all the nuances of that frequency range and how they affected me.  A couple of times I saw things clearly appear for a second, accompan...

As some of you know, I co-host an Automatic Writing Zoom group associated with AREI.   Often I begin automatic writing when triggered by certain questions or comments I run across (something I've always done, I just didn't realize it was "automatic writing".    A few days ago it was a question in the Soul Mate Facebook group about how to tell if something is really contact with our loved one or just in our own heads.   It triggered me to start writing. This is the third version; I refused to post the first two because of the tone and because it just too much to try and digest.   Eventually I got this version - apparently I wasn't going to be able to do my regular job until this got worked out.  It seems that with this I've put out all the information that was contained in that "download" I got a few months ago - and that's a relief.  Anyway, it's an extension of another post from a month ago. ________________________________________ ...

Yesterday, the 11th, exactly 10 months since Irene crossed over, was the most perfect day.  She made her presence known all day long, filling me with visions and euphoria so many times I lost count.  She turned the TV channel to her favorite show again.  We had such fantastic interactions in our visualizations.  I might as well have had her in my arms physically when I took a nap around noon, the feeling was so complete.  Towards the end of the day I sat with her out on the porch and was entirely satisfied, happy, whole and complete, even though I have a great anticipation for what is to come. I don't feel that anticipation as any sense of lack at all. I honestly do not feel any "missing her" or any "forlorn longing" for Irene anymore. I don't even find myself "wishing she was here" - apparently, every part of me, physically and psychologically, knows she is actually with me all the time - it's just a question of getting us both totally tune...

The other day when Irene and I were talking I realized I hadn't sent  her a card on the anniversary of the day we met - January 9th - and told her I was going to send her one and jokingly asked "Why don't you send me one, too?"   Immediately an emotional understanding came across me; the radiant flower she had been drawing in her coffee cup since the day after she crossed over was in fact her giving me a card that said "I love you and I'm with you always!" every single day.  Someone in one of the afterlife groups made the comment that what we were doing on Earth was raising our vibration to move our universe closer to the astral to make it more like the astral.  For whatever reason that stuck in my mind and I started wondering what that would look from our point of view.  As regular readers know, I don't think we actually change the world per se, but rather just move vibrationally from one version of Earth to others, so to speak.  Or, another way t...

A couple of nights ago I got another dream kiss from Irene, so I've been feeling really great about all the dream contact we've been having.  We spent quite a bit of time on the porch talking, drinking and yes, engaging in our bad little habit of smoking for the holidays. It was SO much fun, because during the day I had come to a pretty amazing understanding. Irene lives here. The astral realms are right here. When people talk about the difference in frequencies "separating" us, that's kind of a mischaracterization.  The astral planes and Earth don't represent different "worlds", but rather simply different frequencies and interpretations of the same place.  This is how she is always with me - we literally are together but just experiencing slightly different interpretations and frequencies.  I've had family over the past few days and got more coming, so sorry I haven't been able to write more.

Tuesday the weather was wet, cold and humid.  My mind was pretty chaotic all day dealing with a lot of work and just not feeling that great in body, mind or spirit.  I had to fight with myself to get any work done at all.  I distracted myself by watching TV and then felt bad about wasting time.  It wasn't sadness, I just felt disconnected from our source frequency which keeps me calm and happy.  I was worried about too many things and felt sort of in a paralyzed state. Yesterday, though, I woke up and felt absolutely great, and it lasted all day long.  I was able to work all day without feeling frustrated or rushed.  The weather had changed and it was a perfectly clear, beautiful sunny day. I was able to sit in the swing under the magnolia tree and talk with Irene a couple of times and felt amazing connection to her. There's a feeling I get at times like this; an indescribable emotion I've talked about it before in this blog.  It's part love, part...

Today started out great and then just got supercharged as the day went on.  Meditation was fantastic - it's like being in our own world, it is just so calming, the sensation of being whole and complete with my soul mate and all being so right with the world. Towards noon I was doing some chores in a very mindful fashion, being fully present and enjoying every moment when I had this weird moment of altered consciousness where I felt like Irene was sending me a message.  It felt like I was going to get a text from her or a letter, like she wasn't in the afterlife but just away for a while.  It was almost like being in a dream for a few seconds. As afternoon and another meditation came, I felt so happy and that buzzed, high feeling while meditation was almost overwhelming.  It felt like I was about to leave my body the whole time I sat.  After I finished I was thinking about that strange sensation earlier and it reminded me of when I was a kid and I could br...

A Powerful Intention This morning the first thing I did was an "intention-setting" meditation, which is my usual routine now.  When I do this I am searching for imagery and scenes in my mind that I wish to exist in and which generate an emotional connection and joyful reaction in me.  After sitting down cross-legged on my couch, I did my usual pre-meditation prayer of safety and guidance, immediately getting that familiar buzz which indicates that I'm tuned into "our" frequency. Very quickly after that, a scene popped into my mind of the two of us (Irene and I) sitting on white, wooden  lounge chairs on a deck overlooking the beach and ocean.  Our feet were propped up on the white deck rail and we both had a cup of coffee and we were smoking. We were dressed just like we were at our wedding - we didn't wear formal clothes at our wedding, which was held in our home at the time.  We were laughing about something and had great big smiles on our faces, lookin...

Talk about a lot of conspiring events - work, family, bad atmosphere, and so much to do today has left my brain completely fried.  No grief, however, and only a little sadness of the pity party variety.  I feel so exhausted and overwhelmed, but again - no crash.  That's really the big point - I can experience a day like today and not fall back into grief makes me feel like it has really been defeated. I wrote the above yesterday, but had a brain that was far too fried to finish.  I went to sleep last night totally overwhelmed with work and family stuff and woke up feeling pretty much the same.  At some point I asked my spirit team for some help overcoming my anxiety and the following immediately popped into my mind: "It's nothing compared to what you went through when Irene died." That thought, that "meme", washed over me like a solvent, dissolving my anxiety and making me laugh. Then this popped in my head, "We've been through worse than this, ...

There's an emotion I feel often which I refer to as the sensation of coming into frequency contact with Irene.  It began many months ago, if you go back and read the blog, as a panic-attack like feeling in my upper chest and throat, but it wasn't entirely a bad feeling - I immediately thought it felt like Irene was close and it was affecting me negatively because of my grief and sorrow.  As time has progressed, that sensation has slowly changed, no longer triggering my grief or intense feelings of loss or self-pity.  I've thought about how to try to describe it, and I'm going to give it a shot here. Most of the sensation is a powerful sense of appreciation borne of loss of that which I value most. It is not just "appreciation", which is a great feeling in itself, but it is a form of appreciation that is very deep and meaningful, an appreciation you can only have after losing that which you love the most.  It is only then that you can know how much that which...

Although the physical atmosphere isn't great lately (too humid), I've noticed when the air here is like that, it's almost as if the other side is calling me.  I get this lethargic buzz in my head and if I meditate or lay down to do hypnagogic experience, I'm immediately immersed in our frequency and feel high as a kite. Today I wanted to acknowledge how fortunate I am.  The fact is, a lot of people don't ever know or even meet their soul mate.  I'm one of the lucky ones - I found my soul mate, married her, and had 27 incredible years with her here.  Even though she died and I had to endure that grief, now I am so lucky to know that I have such a strong and loving person dedicated to my well-being, watching over me and doing all she can to make me happy and comfort me.  It's like having a very special, intimate guardian angel. Knowing my soul mate is with me constantly makes me very happy.  She always hears me and immersion in our "connection vibrati...

It was nice today to be able to get back in my routine.  Early this morning I was enjoying a smoke on my back porch and having a discussion with Irene, a continuation of the "what is the nature of reality" conversation that we have been having and which we discussed a lot while I was down at Gerra's.  This morning I told some extra confirmation would be appreciated even though it had already been confirmed several times, especially through that television show Awake. A Jehova's Witness minister and his wife, who come by here about once a month, came by and after we sat in the living room and he spoke a while, his wife started talking about faith, and what the Biblical definition of faith was.  She read Hebrews 11:1, which says (in their version): Faith is the assured expectation of what is hoped for, the evident demonstration of realities that are not seen.   This exactly represents what I've been working on for weeks now, a perfect confirmation of how I see ...

I had a full day's worth of stuff to do today. Took the dogs to the groomer and went into town to run some errands, plus I had plenty of regular work to do. Still, I kept on track with my goal and my meditations were fantastic. When I felt that fatigued buzz in the afternoon, I lay down and recorded one HE (hypnagogic experience) after another. It was crazy - I couldn't even keep up. I missed a couple but got quite a few, one with Irene that made me very happy. It seemed like about 15 minutes had passed and it never felt like I had fallen asleep, but when I got up it was an hour later and I was completely refreshed. Here's a copy-paste from a couple of days of my HE log: HYPNAGOGIC EXPERIENCES 10-19-2017 #1: Somebody was cleaning something on the floor, which I thought was the recording device I was using. #2: Girl dressed in a black and grey costume, like batgirl, got on a motorcycle. #3: Me, the Girl from #2, and someone else are going somewhere. I look like...

During a great meditation this morning irene and I were talking about the way I always try to frame things into "conceptual frameworks" so I can understand things better intellectually.  I had been reading some comments in the afterlife groups about the difficulties in interacting with loved ones who have crossed over and also about our "multidimensional" nature. Our "multidimensional nature" has always been a thorny subject with me.  If this is some "small part" of my consciousness, it pisses me off to think that some other or "higher" aspect of my consciousness is enjoying interacting with Irene while this part of my consciousness  is stuck here using imagination, visualization and meditation to have contact with her, having occasional and minor doubts that even these experiences are "true". So we come back to what someone said in my "drifting off" state yesterday. "Why do we doubt?" Irene kept ma...

What a day I had yesterday.  So sorry I wasn't able to post, but I by the time I got home I was really too drained to do anything with my brain other than eat, walk the dogs and go to sleep early. We had a meeting with an attorney over some of the issues that came crashing into our lives earlier this week and that took longer than expected.  I can't get into any of it here, but let's just say it's something that would ordinarily be very, very stressful, even though it didn't directly involve me.  I never really felt stressed, although my mind was more on those issues than anything else, and I kept having to refocus on our happy frequency again and again.  It did keep me feeling centered and really rather removed from the situation. Also, driving tends to wear me out and I ran other errands in town, so I'm sure that contributed to the draining fatigue I felt yesterday evening. Other than that, though, I felt great mentally and emotionally - I didn't crash...

I've had a couple more of those strong connection sensations today.  It is so sweet and transcendent - an emotion or sensation there is no word for.  I remember getting this sensation before and it was very confusing because it caused some sorrow at the same time, I remember writing here that I felt it was because it was Irene and her presence generated the sorrow of missing her. Now, this sensory, vibrational quality of her presence "touching" me, or going through me, isn't bringing up any sadness, just this very unique and comforting feeling that affects me throughout. I posted the rough draft of the book on the blog today so that people who come here looking for relief from their grief will at least be able to read how it happened for me. As I read back through the book, and in doing so referred back to some prior posts, I find so utterly unbelievable that I can really, actually feel this way.  It's like our relationship never stopped being this good - as...

There are mornings, like today, I wake up and I don't feel good or bad, I just feel completely ambivalent. I really think it has a lot to do with the physical atmosphere. It's heavy again here with a lot of humidity after a lot of rain last night. A couple of hours after I got up, though, I felt Irene just sort of vibe into me. It felt so good and immediately changed my frequency back into our zone. It didn't have hardly any of the associated sadness that contact with her used to bring, although it did carry with it a unique emotional content I've talked about before; it's really good, it's just not like anything else, so it's hard to put any label on. Meditation was excellent although the universe kept interrupting me for whatever reason.  I still have the family issues that cropped came barreling through like a freight train, but we're working on those and can at least see a way forward.  I'm really not very good at adapting to certain situatio...