Visualizing Irene
I had a rough patch yesterday for about 30 minutes - not grief, just longing sadness mixed in, I think, with a little self-pity. Honestly, I think all the driving and out-of-routine events from the trip to Austin caught up with me, along with some other family situations. However, I still feel quite blessed that it only added up to about a half hour of being upset.
I asked for help and meditated, and felt better. Yeah, that's right - I ask for help all the time. There's no escaping it, I'm a drama queen now. I'm just not going to worry about it - if I feel like asking for help, I'm just going to do it, and then thank everyone on the other side profusely for indulging me.
In the evening I found myself at the computer and realized it was about time for an AREI meeting they were having on signs and joined in. There were more people this time, it was pretty amazing. By the time the meeting was over I realized that if I wanted to be a good facilitator for AREI Zoom meetings going forward, I needed to start bringing my managerial and communication "A" game - prep the people there with preliminary cautions about brevity and not to take cut-offs personally because we have limited time, take copius notes when people are talking, etc. It's interesting how my background has prepared me for this.
There are a couple of weird dreams I remember from last night and for some reason I'm in a good mood this morning even thought the atmosphere outside is bad. I feel totally connected to Irene. When I walked the dogs this morning, I could visualize her with me so easily and so completely it made me very happy and my emotions surged. It's rare that I can envision her so completely that way and maintain it for a good period of time. She looked about 35 with her long black hair, wearing that black dress with the colorful flowers on it, barefoot. I didn't mentally decide to make her look that way, but that's how she has appeared to me in the last two or three dreams.
In a mental conversation with her I came to realize that the reason I don't get more interaction at this point is that it would be very emotional and probably not be helpful right now. We've worked very hard at gaining this sense of "normalcy" that we enjoy 95% of the time, and we don't want to do anything too fast to disrupt that.
I asked for help and meditated, and felt better. Yeah, that's right - I ask for help all the time. There's no escaping it, I'm a drama queen now. I'm just not going to worry about it - if I feel like asking for help, I'm just going to do it, and then thank everyone on the other side profusely for indulging me.
In the evening I found myself at the computer and realized it was about time for an AREI meeting they were having on signs and joined in. There were more people this time, it was pretty amazing. By the time the meeting was over I realized that if I wanted to be a good facilitator for AREI Zoom meetings going forward, I needed to start bringing my managerial and communication "A" game - prep the people there with preliminary cautions about brevity and not to take cut-offs personally because we have limited time, take copius notes when people are talking, etc. It's interesting how my background has prepared me for this.
There are a couple of weird dreams I remember from last night and for some reason I'm in a good mood this morning even thought the atmosphere outside is bad. I feel totally connected to Irene. When I walked the dogs this morning, I could visualize her with me so easily and so completely it made me very happy and my emotions surged. It's rare that I can envision her so completely that way and maintain it for a good period of time. She looked about 35 with her long black hair, wearing that black dress with the colorful flowers on it, barefoot. I didn't mentally decide to make her look that way, but that's how she has appeared to me in the last two or three dreams.
In a mental conversation with her I came to realize that the reason I don't get more interaction at this point is that it would be very emotional and probably not be helpful right now. We've worked very hard at gaining this sense of "normalcy" that we enjoy 95% of the time, and we don't want to do anything too fast to disrupt that.
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