Love After Life

Since Irene crossed over last April, I've done a pretty good job documenting a lot of the signs, synchronicities and confirmations I've received.  Even though this blog is full of those events, this doesn't even come close to a full accounting of what all has transpired.  I don't know how often our numbers have appeared, or there will be immediate support and confirmation of thoughts I've been having, or the birds and squirrels will come along and do things that demonstrate I've got support and that Irene and my team are with me. It would not be an exaggeration to say that these events occur virtually every day, and most days I get multiple such events a day. Lately, the synchronicities are coming several times a day.  An example is that day before yesterday I had a passing thought that it would be cool to have a big, fancy treehouse on our astral island, and the next day a pinterest pin popped up with a treehouse - not just any treehouse, a great big full hom...

This morning I was thinking more about what I wrote about yesterday and realized that what we've accomplished here in just four months is nothing short of miraculous, every bit as miraculous as it would be for me to astral project and be able to see, hear and touch Irene again. For those of you who may not have ever experienced the kind of grief you experience after the love of your life dies (not necessarily your spouse; it could be a child, parent or someone else), that deep and profound pain is unlike anything else. For many, it ruins everything for pretty much the rest of their lives. As my friend who lost his child told me, you never experience joy again without also feeling the pain of that loss. That kind of grief carries with it an entirely different way of experiencing the world. Even when you feel good, you feel the loss and you also often feel guilty for feeling good. If you aren't thinking about your loved one for even a small time, you're heartbroken about ...

Yesterday was amazing in many ways just because I felt normal to really good all day long, even though I drove to town twice, had people in the house the entire day, and only got to do one real session.  I didn’t feel any panic or pain – I only felt a comfortable and comforting arrangement with Irene and my spirit crew where I realized that some days I were going to be like that and it was okay to focus on the physical during those times. It doesn’t mean care about her less; it doesn’t mean I’m less interested in pursuing our new direction; it doesn’t mean that I am less motivated to meditate myself towards better clarity with her; it doesn’t mean we are moving apart. It just means that our relationship is adjusting, moving away from my desperate, panic- and pain-filled need for her towards a healthier, more fulfilling, confident and joyful dynamic that must include my participation in the physical world while I am here. I’ve been trying to figure out if there’s some ...