An Amazing Accomplishment, Part 2
This morning I was thinking more about what I wrote about yesterday and realized that what we've accomplished here in just four months is nothing short of miraculous, every bit as miraculous as it would be for me to astral project and be able to see, hear and touch Irene again.
For those of you who may not have ever experienced the kind of grief you experience after the love of your life dies (not necessarily your spouse; it could be a child, parent or someone else), that deep and profound pain is unlike anything else. For many, it ruins everything for pretty much the rest of their lives. As my friend who lost his child told me, you never experience joy again without also feeling the pain of that loss.
That kind of grief carries with it an entirely different way of experiencing the world. Even when you feel good, you feel the loss and you also often feel guilty for feeling good. If you aren't thinking about your loved one for even a small time, you're heartbroken about it and irrationally fear that you're forgetting them or leaving them behind. At some point, you want to feel the pain because it's the only way you have of truly connecting to them, or at least the memory of them. You want to play sad songs and feel even worse. The pain and sorrow becomes a new way of life which, to some degree, you end up embracing because it the pain keeps them with you always. The pain becomes a monument to them in your heart and soul, one you need to show them how much you love them still. Anything else seems to trivialize what they meant to you, and trivializing it hurts even worse than embracing the grief.
This may not make sense to those that haven't experienced it, but this kind of grief is a kind of existential madness - just like one might explain love. Love is a bright and joyful kind of madness, and grief is a dark and painful madness.
So, I'm not just talking about overcoming sorrow or pain, but getting through and being able to get past the existential madness of life-darkening grief and back to the joyful, happy, hopeful and bright "madness" of being able to live in a state of loving the person who passed like you did before they died. IOW, reclaiming the existential state of being in-love with the person who died, and reclaiming the sense of completeness and wholeness that existed then instead of existing in the state of a grief-stricken or grief-darkened life where one constantly feels loss and a sense of loneliness.
That this is possible without my having actually visited her and interacted with her in the astral is monumental. I thought I would need that actual interaction to make it real to me to the point where I would actually be free of grief and be able to let go of the pain - but, somehow, actual happiness and a sense of wholeness and completeness has crept up on me and has returned me almost entirely to my pre-death state - albeit with a few necessary differences. Those differences, however, are not painful or bad. I experience them as exciting challenges and new experiences for Irene and I to develop our relationship through. I actually experience this. It still amazes me when I think about it.
It means that it is possible to organize and invest in attitudes, thoughts, habits and beliefs that can utterly change how one ultimately experiences the death of their loved ones and which can mitigate and even bring and end to one's grief. I didn't have to physically interact with Irene as if she were still here in this world to get to this point. To me, that is amazing. I didn't think anything else could possibly make our continued relationship real enough to defeat the grief and sorrow.
Now, I say all of the above from my Earthly perspective. I believe the true cause of my experience is much more than just my personal situation, views, beliefs, habits and thoughts. I believe most of the credit goes to God, Irene and many on the other side who are helping us. For example, it certainly wasn't my doing that I got two weeks of grace after she died where I experience what I'm now calling a preview of what I'm currently experiencing, apparently to give me hope and something to hold on to when the grief came. I certainly wasn't the one (at least not consciously) who arranged all of the messages and signs from Irene, or all of the confirmations of things I was thinking about concerning the afterlife. I certainly didn't time my discovery of the note she wrote 43 years prior to be on the same date she wrote it. I obviously had a lot of help, but I like to think that our firm belief in afterlife communication and interaction and my openness to getting signs and messages helped.
The thing is, though, I believe we all have those who are working for us on the other side, especially loved ones who have passed. It may be possible to change the way we think about life, death and the afterlife, and to invest some effort in preparing and fortifying our views, and to develop habits and thoughts that aid those on the other side who are trying to help us, so that we can move past the grief and sense of loss and reclaim our fulfilling relationship with those who have passed over.
I have started writing a book about my particular experiences and how I think I've gotten to this point. I think it might help some people - or at least give them some hope.
For those of you who may not have ever experienced the kind of grief you experience after the love of your life dies (not necessarily your spouse; it could be a child, parent or someone else), that deep and profound pain is unlike anything else. For many, it ruins everything for pretty much the rest of their lives. As my friend who lost his child told me, you never experience joy again without also feeling the pain of that loss.
That kind of grief carries with it an entirely different way of experiencing the world. Even when you feel good, you feel the loss and you also often feel guilty for feeling good. If you aren't thinking about your loved one for even a small time, you're heartbroken about it and irrationally fear that you're forgetting them or leaving them behind. At some point, you want to feel the pain because it's the only way you have of truly connecting to them, or at least the memory of them. You want to play sad songs and feel even worse. The pain and sorrow becomes a new way of life which, to some degree, you end up embracing because it the pain keeps them with you always. The pain becomes a monument to them in your heart and soul, one you need to show them how much you love them still. Anything else seems to trivialize what they meant to you, and trivializing it hurts even worse than embracing the grief.
This may not make sense to those that haven't experienced it, but this kind of grief is a kind of existential madness - just like one might explain love. Love is a bright and joyful kind of madness, and grief is a dark and painful madness.
So, I'm not just talking about overcoming sorrow or pain, but getting through and being able to get past the existential madness of life-darkening grief and back to the joyful, happy, hopeful and bright "madness" of being able to live in a state of loving the person who passed like you did before they died. IOW, reclaiming the existential state of being in-love with the person who died, and reclaiming the sense of completeness and wholeness that existed then instead of existing in the state of a grief-stricken or grief-darkened life where one constantly feels loss and a sense of loneliness.
That this is possible without my having actually visited her and interacted with her in the astral is monumental. I thought I would need that actual interaction to make it real to me to the point where I would actually be free of grief and be able to let go of the pain - but, somehow, actual happiness and a sense of wholeness and completeness has crept up on me and has returned me almost entirely to my pre-death state - albeit with a few necessary differences. Those differences, however, are not painful or bad. I experience them as exciting challenges and new experiences for Irene and I to develop our relationship through. I actually experience this. It still amazes me when I think about it.
It means that it is possible to organize and invest in attitudes, thoughts, habits and beliefs that can utterly change how one ultimately experiences the death of their loved ones and which can mitigate and even bring and end to one's grief. I didn't have to physically interact with Irene as if she were still here in this world to get to this point. To me, that is amazing. I didn't think anything else could possibly make our continued relationship real enough to defeat the grief and sorrow.
Now, I say all of the above from my Earthly perspective. I believe the true cause of my experience is much more than just my personal situation, views, beliefs, habits and thoughts. I believe most of the credit goes to God, Irene and many on the other side who are helping us. For example, it certainly wasn't my doing that I got two weeks of grace after she died where I experience what I'm now calling a preview of what I'm currently experiencing, apparently to give me hope and something to hold on to when the grief came. I certainly wasn't the one (at least not consciously) who arranged all of the messages and signs from Irene, or all of the confirmations of things I was thinking about concerning the afterlife. I certainly didn't time my discovery of the note she wrote 43 years prior to be on the same date she wrote it. I obviously had a lot of help, but I like to think that our firm belief in afterlife communication and interaction and my openness to getting signs and messages helped.
The thing is, though, I believe we all have those who are working for us on the other side, especially loved ones who have passed. It may be possible to change the way we think about life, death and the afterlife, and to invest some effort in preparing and fortifying our views, and to develop habits and thoughts that aid those on the other side who are trying to help us, so that we can move past the grief and sense of loss and reclaim our fulfilling relationship with those who have passed over.
I have started writing a book about my particular experiences and how I think I've gotten to this point. I think it might help some people - or at least give them some hope.
Comments
Post a Comment