Love After Life

I will, at some point, explain in more depth that state change I wrote about in my last blog post. Irene's been using the chimes above the couch to "chime in" when we're talking.  I noticed this happening the other day, when we were sitting there talking and during one very lovely moment I heard a single chime tone. It happened the next day. I don't normally hear those chimes ringing - they are, after all, inside.  After I realized what was going on, I had forgotten about it and walked in an sat down.  Then I remembered the chimes and looked up, because I wondered if a draft was moving them to make them chime.  I looked up.  The chimes were perfectly still. I pointed at them and asked, is that you? The chimes immediately started moving - just barely, starting to spin a little bit. I've been watching the chimes more closely.  When the furnace kicks on, the feathers on the chime move quite a bit, but that wasn't what was going on the other day - the fe...

We we tried to record our first video - an introduction to the concept of having and developing transdimensional romantic relationships - for the Love After Life FB and Zoom group yesterday. The Zoom raw file wouldn't process, so we're going to have to try again this time using a different process or by using shorter clips.  If all goes well we're going to be creating more video resources for people who find themselves in this situation.  Mary Beth - the other host and admin - and I have decided we need to devote more time to the group since we now have about 150 members. The cooler weather has made a world of difference in my ability to do work.  Even though I wasn't feeling bad during the summer, it never fails to amaze me just how much difference cooler weather makes in my attitude and energy. I love it! Irene and I are still going strong and doing great.  Of course I've continued with my normal habits of talking to her, having mental time with her, putting o...

I had a new experience with Irene the other day.  I'm not going to describe it since it was very personal and intimate, but what I will say is this: I got a taste of how making love feels in what we call "the afterlife." It was completely unexpected and overwhelming.  There is far more emotional sensation involved, of a much more vibrant quality, than anything we experienced in this world.  I'll leave it at that. What has had my attention lately is the coffee I set out for Irene every day.  Something to understand is that I make the coffee the exact same way every day, and the coffee sits in the same room in the exact same physical environment every day.  Same ceiling fan, same air conditioner, etc.  It sits on the same coaster at the same angle at the same location on the same coffee table.  Now, if the milk I use in her coffee is old, that affects the drawings that appear in it in a predictable way - they get smudgier.  In the beginning - th...

Three nights out of the past week I've had dreams of Irene.  I can't describe how excited this makes me! Last night she appeared, and I recognized from my waking consciousness perspective and go so excited I woke up because I realized that I was having another dream about her.  My excitement was not primarily about seeing her, but rather that we were having such success just in appearing with each other in the dream world. Talking out on the porch, I told her not to worry about me getting excited and waking up and not getting enough sleep - I can always take a nap or two.  Let's just keep doing it and I'll work out my end of it as far as becoming more aware in the dream and controlling my emotional response so I can help keep our dream meeting place intact. This past Sunday I attended a Zoom group where the speaker talked about the so-called "Five Stages of Grief"associated with Elisabeth Kubler Ross, which was originally only intended to describe the kind...

Irene has been sending me some really nice "hello" signs lately.  Three times she has made it so when I turn on the TV, it's on one of her favorite shows on channels I don't ever watch, so there's no reason for the TV to be on those channels at all.  No one else lives here and there's absolutely no other reason why the TV would be on those channels.  I've also had some very short dreams of her. Last night during one of those dreams I was just watching as she was being made up, dressed and her hair styled by two or three other women, like she was a queen.  That's something she always said when she wanted something her way - "Because I'm the Queen". I woke up feeling so great.  She looked so good in that dream and she talked to me some in it and it just made me euphoric.  Then when I turned the TV one of her favorite shows was on - Fixer Upper, on HGTV. The night before I had left it on a different channel when I went to bed.  That really p...

The past couple of days have been pretty hectic.  I went down to Gerra's in Austin to help her out while she gave birth to my 13th (I think? Losing count!) grandchild, Kyra Irene Murray, named after Irene.  Pico and Marley (my two Pekingese) and I headed down there Wednesday and she was born at 11:23 pm.  We've been bunked up at Gerra's and doing whatever we can to make her life a little easier right now. We had several signs from Irene Weduesday.  Gerra asked for some signs and when she turned on the television one of the teams on Family Feud was named "Howell", which is Irene's maiden name.  Then on another show there was the name "Kyra" all lit up and blinged out.  Her friend Amy, who was there the whole time, said she had been talking to Irene a lot and was relying on her help about when to drive to Austin and what to do and when. For myself, I've been utterly amazed at how well things have gone as far as getting around in Austin, fin...

Here's my two cents worth on the subject of whether or not something is a sign from our loved ones. If you experience something that makes you think it might be a sign from a loved one letting you know they are with you and love you, instead of letting fear (of being wrong) and doubt trouble you, simply make a decision one way or another, but do so in a way that makes either decision help you out in your desire for better contact and communication with the other side. Anything anyone experiences with regard to afterlife communication and contact could have other explanations, even if highly implausible. Afterlife entities usually work through some sort of physical medium in this world - sounds that already exist, animals, light, etc. and arrange or manipulate those things to make contact.  Often it is nothing more than what could be a very unlikely coincidence or string of coincidences. The point here is that most of us are not scientists or attempting to scientifically and obj...

The subtitle on this blog reads [used to read, now I've changed it - WJM] : "My attempt to develop a fulfilling relationship with my soul-mate after she passed from the physical."  Amazingly, I now have a fulfilling relationship with Irene even though she has crossed over. That relationship is as good now, if not even better, than it was before.  I say "even better" because we have seen it not only survive but grow stronger because of this challenge.  Sometime during the day yesterday I realized that I have actually accomplished what I originally set out to do, but I have already expanded the scope of what I wish to achieve if possible. Originally, I was only keeping track of all the signs and messages that Irene was sending.  When I realized the only way I would be able to survive her passing was if I could keep our relationship and contact alive, I turned that into a journal, mainly to remind myself during dark times that there were times when I did feel who...

This morning I was thinking more about what I wrote about yesterday and realized that what we've accomplished here in just four months is nothing short of miraculous, every bit as miraculous as it would be for me to astral project and be able to see, hear and touch Irene again. For those of you who may not have ever experienced the kind of grief you experience after the love of your life dies (not necessarily your spouse; it could be a child, parent or someone else), that deep and profound pain is unlike anything else. For many, it ruins everything for pretty much the rest of their lives. As my friend who lost his child told me, you never experience joy again without also feeling the pain of that loss. That kind of grief carries with it an entirely different way of experiencing the world. Even when you feel good, you feel the loss and you also often feel guilty for feeling good. If you aren't thinking about your loved one for even a small time, you're heartbroken about ...

OMG I just had the most amazing experience!!!  I woke up feeling very good, did my morning prayer/talk with Irene/meditation and  during the meditation all of a sudden I was in this sunny, beautiful field with Irene and she was so beautiful, smiling so big, arms spread wide, I was just overwhelmed with that primordial sense of connection, love and happiness – tears were streaming down, just thinking of it now fills me with wholeness and happiness. It was only a few seconds but it was so clear and powerful.  I continued my meditation for a few minutes and then I felt Irene radiate from inside me with love and connection and happiness and joy so powerful I thought I would explode. I’ve never felt anything like it in my life. It was like an explosion of intimacy, wholeness and joy.  So amazing there are no words!!! 2 nd pray/talk/meditate session today, real good session, nothing spectacular at the time but I felt I got some good work done in raising my vibrationa...

Had a great day today – started off okay, then actually got better and better until I was having again having the sensation of being whole, that total connection to Irene, that comfort and grace, joy and happiness, talking to her and her being with me everywhere. After a couple of days of "normal", it's great to have a day like this.  I'm not sure how much "normal" I can take at this time, but it seems we are expanding my capacity.  I did the Pray/Talk/Meditation sequence I wrote about yesterday three times today, once in the morning right after I got up, once in the afternoon after I got back from the groomer, and once in the late evening.  Lots of stuff happened today – I got Pico and Marley groomed, and the groomers were the greatest.  I was able to talk about Irene there with happiness and joy.  We felt so good together, Irene and I, about how great the boys (our dogs) did and how good they look now.  I felt that Irene was really happy about findng...

I woke up feeling good, spent time talking with Irene, started feeling great again.  Texted Gerra about the commercial, she was right at that time trying to find her lost keys so she could get a new car, asking Irene to help her find the keys.  As we were texting her friend comes and picks her up and her keys are in her friend’s car! Also, walked into my office (not for the first time this morning) and an orange box I hadn’t noticed before was on top of my plastic shelves. Had a bunch of needlepoint stuff Gerra had apparently missed so I think Irene wants to make sure Gerra gets that box. Found a great pair of needle nose pliers in that box I plan on keeping, though! I was telling Ivori about all this and the big black and yellow butterfly I saw in the back yard yesterday, matching the small one she made a video while working on the pyramid and the giant one Freya took a picture of had that landed on Victor and just sat there while they all looked at it.  Ivori t...

I woke up feeling great, spent time praying and “prayer manifesting”, spent quiet time listening and feeling and looking for Irene to manifest, felt some sensations and told her about them – whether or not they are her, I would think she needs feedback from me and also the feedback is part of the manifestation aspect of the project. I can't just assume  she knows everything I'm experiencing. I took dogs in to  have them groomed – like the trip to the animal clinic earlier, it was a wasted trip. Can’t get groomed without shot records.  That’s two trips to town that were largely unnecessary past couple of days. I don't like going to to town unless I have to - driving takes too much out of me, leaving me weak and open to negative/sad influences. Spent more time praying. Felt some sorrow – it felt just like I was about to sneeze, so I sat down started praying and let the tears roll and sobs come out. Felt good afterward, still feel like there’s some down in ther...

This morning I fully understand why Irene wanted me to move my office to the front room ASAP.  She didn’t want to spend her time in that tiny, dark, dirty room that used to be my office, and didn’t want me to either.  It's far too depressing now.  She wanted me up front with her so she could enjoy the sun, the view from the big bay windows into the front yard and street out front, and the great clean and cool atmosphere. I feel very close to her now when I work and I can see outside and get up and do stuff to our garden area when I want to walk around some.   I feel so much better today.  I’m going to be able to look at her pictures and I’m going to keep her papasan chair where I can look over and see her and talk to her while I work.  Plus it’s so much easier for her to look over my shoulder while I write! There's plenty of space behind me and my chair. I found some more old pictures and there’s a picture of Emanuel when he was maybe 2 years old...

At some point over the past few days I must have decided to get Ivori to do some gardening.  She’s really been excited about remaking Irene’s pyramid-shaped flower garden in the front yard.  I started outlining a new spot and today farther out in front and she went to buy some flower and gardening stuff for it before she came out.  Irene loves gardening and just didn't have the energy or strength to do it the past few years.  I have this idea forming as to what I want to do in the yard and in the house, kind of move it towards our vision of what we wanted it to be.  It occurs to me to try and get a new roof put on the house - something Irene always wanted to see happen.  It's a miracle we haven't had a problem with the current roof.  It's pretty bad. Ivori was really excited when she found all the gardening stuff on sale and on clearance and texted me pictures. I told her that was another special thing about Irene – every time I went to the store to...

(5' tall picture board I designed and had printed on plastic for the occasion) Today is the day we have Irene's public Celebration of Life at the elementary school cafeteria (which the school rents out for private and public events). When I woke up I had dreamed of Irene and I had a song going through my head. While showering I realized it was the song I had forgotten on the way home from Freya's that was now one of our new songs – Reminiscing, by Little River Band.  Got it downloaded, played it a little but it was too emotional so I changed it to a metal rock song while I did some things around the house.  I have my media player set to random play and I have around 200 songs, and (now) 5 of those songs are our “Our” songs.  So the next song after the rock song was one of our songs; and then it played another.  I laughed at the end and said “Okay Irene, play “You’re Still The One” (by Shania Twain) and I’ll know it’s you.”  Boom, next song was “You’re...

I woke up about 2:30 in the morning.  Wasn’t in pain, actually felt okay emotionally.  About 10 minutes after I woke up Ivori texted me saying they had been up all night trying to fix plumbing – something I remember Irene and I doing a few times at our previous house.  I decided I’d better put some food in my stomach and take a couple more pills before I went back to sleep, so I heated up  a tortilla, sat down and turned on the TV.  Right at that point the Cowboys were next in line to make their first draft pick.  I couldn't believe it and laughed out loud thanking Irene. The pain meds  for my tooth seem to be dulling my emotional pain as well. I can feel it back in the background like a giant rabid bear ready to tear me apart, but it stays in the background as I function the rest of the day.  I pick up one of our other daughters, Freya, to bring her out  to the house for a visit. After I took her home, there was a song on the radio ...

Jessie, Robert's daughter (our granddaughter) came by to look through Irene’s things and she was looking for a particular little bottle that Irene used to tell her, when she was little, that a genie would come out of if she opened it. She looked through the bottles but couldn’t find it. Finally she just said that she really wanted that little bottle and was then led right to it in the nick-knacks where she didn’t think it was.  She also found the Batgirl mask that had been missing - we had looked all through that stuff when we were searching for it! I playfully talked to Irene about her hide-and-seek game with the mask, validating her.  I realize I may mistake a coincidence for a deliberate event, but she knows I'm doing the best I can.  I'd rather validate mistakenly than not say anything at all, if for nothing else to let her know I appreciate all she's doing. Today I have felt so good about things.  I’m much, much more comfortable with our (Irene and my) ...

Today I went into Waco to pick up Irene’s death certificates that had finally been authorized, and place her obit placed in the a local paper.  I also stopped by and ordered  a new storm door for the front and after going home, walking the dogs and eating, went to Temple to get the obit placed there in the Daily Telegram. Irene was with me all day – literally all day long. I felt her presence all day and she touched me with that amazing contact experience several times. I’m starting to comprehend that sensation – in one respect it’s overwhelming happiness, but another part is like trying to explain an orgasm.  It’s just indescribable.  I envisioned her flirting with me and playing with me and it seemed she put all sorts of fun and cool images in my mind. I heard her voice several times in my mind telling me she loves me and making funny and sarcastic comments.  Sometimes she just sat next to me.  It’s really hard to express some of this ...

Ivori came out and Emanuel (her son, our grandson) was putting a new swing bench together in the front living room (the old one broke).  He needed an allen wrench. Usually, the boxes come with the tools necessary to put the thing together, especially if it’s an allen wrench.  I looked around for allen wrenches, literally pulling stuff out of my tool boxes and fishing around in them for about 5 minutes and didn’t find one. I called Robert and asked him and he said he’d round his up and bring them over.  Meanwhile, Ivori was standing at the cabinets in the hallway looking for an allen wrench and said out loud, “Irene, I know you have allen wrenches, show me where they are!” and she immediately turned and walked into the mud room looked down at the tool box I had just searched, and right there in plain sight, the first thing her eyes landed on was a whole brand new set of allen wrenches. I know I did not have those allen wrenches before. We were all amazed.  One o...