Wednesday, April 26, 2017 The Mask, Part 3

Jessie, Robert's daughter (our granddaughter) came by to look through Irene’s things and she was looking for a particular little bottle that Irene used to tell her, when she was little, that a genie would come out of if she opened it. She looked through the bottles but couldn’t find it. Finally she just said that she really wanted that little bottle and was then led right to it in the nick-knacks where she didn’t think it was.  She also found the Batgirl mask that had been missing - we had looked all through that stuff when we were searching for it!

I playfully talked to Irene about her hide-and-seek game with the mask, validating her.  I realize I may mistake a coincidence for a deliberate event, but she knows I'm doing the best I can.  I'd rather validate mistakenly than not say anything at all, if for nothing else to let her know I appreciate all she's doing.

Today I have felt so good about things.  I’m much, much more comfortable with our (Irene and my) new relationship. I’m not worried about losing that connection, not worried about feeling separated from her. I can feel her here. I don’t feel like I have to keep trying all the time to see her mentally nor do I get panicked when I have trouble connecting.  It all happens very naturally and I’m completely reassured that we are good going forward forever. I’ve been happy all day long about our new relationship!!  I was feeling drained at one point and my brain was fried, so I lay down and she appeared in my mind naturally, laying there next to me with her head on my chest and her arm and leg draped over me as had been our habit for so many years. It was a like a miracle cure for my normal drained and brain-fried sensation problem that usually drags out all afternoon.

Robert brought in her Temple obit and it looked so good with that great "gypsy" picture of her.  Had another 1 minute bout of sadness after he left but it was fine.  I'm starting to wonder if there is a connection between people visiting and the sadness I feel afterward.  I have always tended to take on other people's emotions, feelings and pains.  There have been times when I've felt really bad in certain ways only to find out later that someone in the family had been going through that very same thing.  Irene and I used to talk about it and I'm talking to her about it now. I've got to be careful about picking up other people's feelings and thinking they're my own.