Love After Life

Please excuse the authoritarian style of writing.  When this stuff comes to me via channeling, I can either spend days trying to rephrase everything in editing or just offer the caveat: accept what resonates, ignore the rest. For most people, when they think of "imagination" they think of creating thoughts or imagery that is confined to being "in their head" - completely personal and unconnected to anything external, private thoughts that only exist in the confines of their physical brain. Thus, we have phrases like "only in your head" or "just your imagination", which trivializes imagination as something fun (or worrisome) but, for practical purposes, largely without any significant effect on the real world and on our real lives. To begin to understand the true power of imagination and its importance, we must first ask a very simple question: What is imagination? The short answer is: attention , sometimes accompanied by intention .  In...

Yesterday I got five confirmations from Irene (two after I made my last edit to that post).  I had told her that I would like some pretty serious confirmations on what we were talking about, because it represented a major addition to my understanding of what we she and I are doing When I was talking with Irene about different scales of the amnesia experience, I wasn't using the word "experience" - I was using the word "game," - "the amnesia game." I changed the word for the post in order not to give others the idea I was thinking of all of this flippantly or superficially. I consider it a very important aspect of the development and maintenance of a long-term afterlife experience, and also a very important, even defining aspect of an Earth experience.  "Mini-game" was a phrase I used to describe different short-term amnesia experiences so that we could give each other the temporary re-experience of meeting each other as if for the first t...

Yesterday and this morning I got to feeling pretty cranky and rebellious. Not bad or sad - I still feel entirely connected to Irene, but I honestly started feeling like abandoning all the Afterlife FB groups and just discontinuing contact with everyone.  Most of them just seem so caught up in advocating for certain structures and views and insisting on limitations and spiritual judgments - with almost zero sense of fun or humor. It's kind of difficult to maintain my creative perspective when everyone else is all about being the victim of objective reality (at least, that's how I see it). I was feeling like an outcast rebel.  I have been rejecting all external authority and systems over my life, including any "oversoul" or "higher self" or any supposed rules about life or spirituality.  I want to be free to create whatever Irene and I imagine and want. I know she's with me, but still it felt a little isolated, which kind of pissed me off. This morning I w...

I watched "The Arrival" last night after randomly finding it on Amazon Prime. **SPOILER ALERT**  The movie was a total validation sign about what I've been doing with visualization and what came through automatic writing.  Throughout the movie the main character was experiencing what seemed like flashbacks. The aliens in the movie did not experience time in a linear way, and they were teaching the main character how to speak their language, which would give humans the ability to do the same.  What she had actually been "remembering" was her future.  She was mentally visiting future events and was completely experiencing them.  She could go to any part of her life and experience it, beginning to end, by thinking about it. **END SPOILER ALERT** Then I ran across an Abraham-Hicks quote pin that said: "What could be more FREE than reality based on thought and you can think any thought you want." - which is exactly what the Identity Matrix informati...

Lately I've been so connected to Irene, I feel little urge to meditate near as much, and little urge to use the affirmations that helped us get to this point. We were talking about this the past couple of days.  There was an analogy I used a long time ago that popped in my head. If you have a desire to go to and live on the moon, the pathway there might first start with building a rocket ship.  In order to do so, you'd have to develop certain knowledge and skills to build that kind of transport. Once completed, you'd need a largely different set of skills and knowledge - that of piloting that ship to the moon. After you've landed, you'd then need to become someone who could build and maintain a habitat on the moon.  Note that the practices that you must have at each stage is, to a large degree, different from the practices you needed before you got to the next stage towards our goal, and then actually existing in your goal state is largely different from existing in...

Lately I've been experiencing a deeper kind of mental intimacy with Irene during meditation and when I start falling off to sleep.  It's hard to explain - and maybe a little embarrassing considering family and friends read this blog. When she was alive, when Irene and I would kiss (among other things), all of my attention and hers was on that kiss, or that touch, etc., on our connection, in the moment.  It was like being one being in a timeless state of a kind of bliss where nothing else existed.  Lately though when I imagine and visualize holding her, or kissing her, it's like hearing each other's thoughts and feeling each other's feelings at the same time that we are experiencing the physical contact.  It's like literally being in each other's head and experiencing what the other person is experiencing, a kind of union beyond any connection we had before. Last night I fell asleep in that kind of state with her and I had two fairly intimate, very beauti...

After my post yesterday, Jurgen Ziewe wrote a post about his most recent out of body experience where he was shown what we might call an artist community in the afterlife.  One of the things he wrote about was entering a room where people were smoking and drinking, and for whatever reason I found that to be a huge validation of the vision I had of Irene and I when I was doing my intention meditation.  I mean, it made me ecstatically happy and it brings me great joy to think about it.  I don't know why, but it really comforts me to know that Irene can still smoke over there if she wants to.  She thoroughly enjoyed smoking here. I had a very nice chat with a man named Bill (oddly enough) in the Zoom Room - we just ran into each other there because I like to stay logged in to help people with the interface and to bring them up to speed on what groups are like. Turns out he has a neighbor named William and at first he thought I was him before he could see the video. The ...

Here's my two cents worth on the subject of whether or not something is a sign from our loved ones. If you experience something that makes you think it might be a sign from a loved one letting you know they are with you and love you, instead of letting fear (of being wrong) and doubt trouble you, simply make a decision one way or another, but do so in a way that makes either decision help you out in your desire for better contact and communication with the other side. Anything anyone experiences with regard to afterlife communication and contact could have other explanations, even if highly implausible. Afterlife entities usually work through some sort of physical medium in this world - sounds that already exist, animals, light, etc. and arrange or manipulate those things to make contact.  Often it is nothing more than what could be a very unlikely coincidence or string of coincidences. The point here is that most of us are not scientists or attempting to scientifically and obj...

I'm remembering more of what I dream now, which is part of my intentions.  The dream I had before waking this morning didn't mean anything to me, but at least I did remember some of it when I woke. I'm in the process of doing the AREI Self-Guided Afterlife Connection to see if I can get anything out of it, and also it's another thing I can do to "make real" my intention of increasing my communication with Irene.  This morning I read some materials in that process that confirmed several things I had come to believe about what I've been experiencing. First and foremost, it confirmed the difference between things I deliberately imagine and things that just pop into my mind on their own. There is a big difference in those experiences, and the material confirms that the experiences I have of things just popping into my head does indeed come from outside of my imagination. These are things Irene, other loved ones or my spirit guides put into my head for m...

It's been a good morning. I prayed as if Irene was sitting next to me, holding my hand and praying along with me, and it was great!  Then I had a good meditation/intention/affirmation where I easily envisioned us together.  I spent time talking to Irene and my spirit team and realized I just need to keep talking to them, even if I feel like I'm whining too much, because talking out loud about all that is going on infuses my experience with a sense of reality about them, what we're doing, what we're trying to do, and the afterlife I envision. It makes it all more real for me to talk about it out loud, infusing it in all my daily activities.  That's pretty important - to make it feel real to me.  The normal physical world is unrelenting and pervasive, so I have to do whatever it takes to keep all of this fresh and infused in my consciousness and daily life. If that means acting like a crazy old man, oh well. After reading some in the Zammit's Facebook afte...

My meditations are really getting deep and good.  I mean, really good.  There is this indescribable sensation now that I get regularly … it’s like a hum my whole body feels that is peaceful, but centered in my head.  I enjoy it a lot, making it easy to meditate often.  I’m finding it easier to quiet my mind quickly because I know this sensation awaits. There’s also a kind of anticipatory building sensation, as if the hum is building towards something really, really good.  This morning Irene was in my dream, but I forgot what it was about and what she was doing. I know it was only for a second, though. I was reading the Zammit Afterlife forum and in it there was some talk about how much the afterlife resembled life here – houses, gardens, etc., and I remembered another source saying there were jobs, industry , etc. Then I noticed there was an ad in my news stream for dresses and one dress was really great so I got excited and told Irene to look and clicked o...

So this happened last night before I went to bed: I was asking Irene for some validation (yes, I’m still a needy SOB at times), and I started reading an e-book called “Soul Smart” by Susanne J. Wilson that had been recommended in the afterlife group several times.  I was telling Irene that I usually dislike reading what anyone else has to say about the afterlife and spirit communication because it doesn’t take much to upset my apparently delicate equilibrium.  Anyway, I felt like it was okay to at least read some of this so I started it very tentatively. It was really, really incredible.  Everything Susanne said was describing what I had come to be doing and the information I had gotten from Irene or from someone on the other side.  I had already created an incredible “sacred space” for my meditation without even realizing it, sitting on the couch in my usual position (Irene would always sit right next to me), right in front of the “shrine” that had actually bee...

I had such a good day yesterday!  I am feeling better and better, more and more confident in our new relationship, in the tools I have to handle emotional problems  and in my new life direction.  What else can I do but follow and pursue what I really love?  Last night I started missing Irene and I said out loud, “I’m starting to feel sad and missing you, baby.” … and it was like someone just waved their hand and removed it from me.  I told Irene what I experienced, and validated it and thanked her.  It was amazing!  I probably don’t have to actually tell her out loud like I do, but I love talking to her out loud anyway and it can’t hurt. I was also thinking last night about how much time I spend meditating and what I'm actually trying to accomplish – making that hyper-real contact with Irene and heaven that NDEers and other spiritual practitioners talk about. I want to spend more time actually meditating for that purpose. This morning I meditated ...

This morning I woke up and went directly to work – something I had told myself yesterday was what I needed to start doing because that is how I’ve always been able to work well and feel satisfied about it. I got up feeling very good, and just felt better and better as time went by. I’m going to write myself a letter to read back to myself whenever I start going wonky to reinforce the fact that when I start feeling that way, it is not an illusion or a self-deception that I have experienced long runs of time where I am absolutely happy, whole, fulfilled, joyful, and feel totally, ecstatically connected to Irene. We can absolutely find an ongoing state of being, her in that world and me in this one, for as long as I am still here, where I feel blissfully connected to her and full of love, joy, and light, motivated with purpose and value and meaning. I am not kidding myself, fooling myself or misrepresenting the sensations and feelings. The experience is real and apparently when I ...

Woke up feeling good, had a dream – rare occurrence for me to have/remember dreams – where I was in a room with a girl who had lost her mother and was sobbing about it, making me feel sorrowful, a validation that at least some of what I’ve been feeling is due to empathy and not my own state of being.  This knowledge in itself is very helpful as I couldn’t understand how some of the thoughts and sensations and interpretations could be occurring unless it was a destructive presence manipulating my feelings or feeling what someone else is going through. Had 3 good full sessions today, have felt wonderful all day so far (it’s about 4:00 pm), almost ecstatic, talking to Irene a lot, feeling her, feeling so close it often brings tears to my eyes.  I love her so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can definitely do the rest of my time here if this is what it is going to be like.

Had a great day today – started off okay, then actually got better and better until I was having again having the sensation of being whole, that total connection to Irene, that comfort and grace, joy and happiness, talking to her and her being with me everywhere. After a couple of days of "normal", it's great to have a day like this.  I'm not sure how much "normal" I can take at this time, but it seems we are expanding my capacity.  I did the Pray/Talk/Meditation sequence I wrote about yesterday three times today, once in the morning right after I got up, once in the afternoon after I got back from the groomer, and once in the late evening.  Lots of stuff happened today – I got Pico and Marley groomed, and the groomers were the greatest.  I was able to talk about Irene there with happiness and joy.  We felt so good together, Irene and I, about how great the boys (our dogs) did and how good they look now.  I felt that Irene was really happy about findng...

I woke up feeling great, spent time praying and “prayer manifesting”, spent quiet time listening and feeling and looking for Irene to manifest, felt some sensations and told her about them – whether or not they are her, I would think she needs feedback from me and also the feedback is part of the manifestation aspect of the project. I can't just assume  she knows everything I'm experiencing. I took dogs in to  have them groomed – like the trip to the animal clinic earlier, it was a wasted trip. Can’t get groomed without shot records.  That’s two trips to town that were largely unnecessary past couple of days. I don't like going to to town unless I have to - driving takes too much out of me, leaving me weak and open to negative/sad influences. Spent more time praying. Felt some sorrow – it felt just like I was about to sneeze, so I sat down started praying and let the tears roll and sobs come out. Felt good afterward, still feel like there’s some down in ther...

This is starting off to be a very bad day, prayed to have the evil or darkness that was making me doubt and fear thrown out, driven  out, prayed for God to work with Irene and I to succeed in our adventure of continuing our relationship after her passing. There is this infection of doubt and fear that it seems I can't drive out and despair is setting in again – I can't find any relief.  Robert had said someone woke him up yesterday morning. He heard a voice say his name and when he got up Shanna was still asleep.  The physical/emotional/psychological aspect of this is just like being sick.  I can feel a 15 second sobbing spurt coming on just like I can feel nausea just before I throw up.. It even feels much like I’m throwing up.  I can feel pain and doubt in me like disease. To find relief I started watching Long Island Medium, one of Irene’s favorite shows, to get my mind on a more positive track.  When I started it this time it it was o...

This morning I fully understand why Irene wanted me to move my office to the front room ASAP.  She didn’t want to spend her time in that tiny, dark, dirty room that used to be my office, and didn’t want me to either.  It's far too depressing now.  She wanted me up front with her so she could enjoy the sun, the view from the big bay windows into the front yard and street out front, and the great clean and cool atmosphere. I feel very close to her now when I work and I can see outside and get up and do stuff to our garden area when I want to walk around some.   I feel so much better today.  I’m going to be able to look at her pictures and I’m going to keep her papasan chair where I can look over and see her and talk to her while I work.  Plus it’s so much easier for her to look over my shoulder while I write! There's plenty of space behind me and my chair. I found some more old pictures and there’s a picture of Emanuel when he was maybe 2 years old...

I had a very good day today.  Mike called me around 2 a.m. and we had a good talk and I told him to call me anytime, night or day.  Slept late after that, got up about 6:30, felt good, felt great all day.  Irene was here and we were in a "normalized" mode most of the day.  Able to say more direct things without getting choked up.  Sent a card to Helen (Irene's stepmother) and took one to Texas Oncology along with some snacks (they have free snacks for everyone getting chemo treatment, so I bought a few boxes of individually wrapped snacks), got pretty choked up about all that, but it wasn’t grief.  It was emotional but more empathetic sadness than my own because I knew how much the all loved Irene there.  Picked up 400 lbs of dirt for the pyramid that Ivori has been working on. She’s dedicating herself to doing the whole yard.  Something that occurred to me is that if I believe that Irene is in the next world actively working to help, surely I ...