Another Amazing, Amazing Experience
Yesterday and this morning I got to feeling pretty cranky and rebellious. Not bad or sad - I still feel entirely connected to Irene, but I honestly started feeling like abandoning all the Afterlife FB groups and just discontinuing contact with everyone. Most of them just seem so caught up in advocating for certain structures and views and insisting on limitations and spiritual judgments - with almost zero sense of fun or humor. It's kind of difficult to maintain my creative perspective when everyone else is all about being the victim of objective reality (at least, that's how I see it).
I was feeling like an outcast rebel. I have been rejecting all external authority and systems over my life, including any "oversoul" or "higher self" or any supposed rules about life or spirituality. I want to be free to create whatever Irene and I imagine and want. I know she's with me, but still it felt a little isolated, which kind of pissed me off.
This morning I was doing some work and a company I've had do some website work for me called. I just let it go to voice message in the other room - I didn't hear anyone talking so I figured they hung up. After I took the dogs out for their noon walk I noticed the message light said there were two messages. I played them thinking they'd be blank and I'd just delete them.
The two message were not recordings, but this is how they both started out: "Mr. Murray, this is Irene, one of the professionals working on your website experience ..."
As readers know, Irene and I have been working on our afterlife experience for months, but here the past few days it's been as much about creating our current and transitional experience as we go forward until she, I and our dogs are fully in our experiential happy place, together. I knew exactly what Irene was telling me: she and others on my spirit team are working on our experience.
The feelings that washed over me were both some that I've experienced before - almost overwhelming love, gratitude, relief and joy, and another that felt like my whole body was being transformed. It lasted for about a half hour, a very tingly, electric sensation, like I was more alive than usual.
As I went back to work, I was drawn into a visualization. What I mean is that I felt my head spontaneously going into that vibrational zone I have when I meditate and visualize. I shut my eyes and found myself in one of Irene's secret rooms - and enormous, palatial room with blue, Moroccan tiles all over. I was sitting cross-legged on a couch covered with brown leather, facing Irene who was sitting cross legged facing me. There were several other people in the room sitting on matching pieces of furniture.
Irene leaned over and said, "Babe, it's all right. This is who you are and what you do. It's why you're there - to be yourself and do what you do."
Other voices chimed in. "Yeah, Dude," one said. "What you're doing is for all of us! Keep it up! It's who you are."
I looked back at Irene and the love, acceptance and relief I felt was .... well, I'm running out of superlatives. It was overwhelming times 2. I felt such relief at this love for who Irene and I are and what Irene and I are doing and for us breaking through these conceptual, afterlife and cosmological limitations and structures, for rebelling against the common themes and structures of "spirituality" and other norms and traditions.
It was very liberating and incredibly validating. Even though I rebel against the need for external validation, they gave it to me even though I didn't ask for it and didn't need it to go forward, but again I must admit it felt beyond wonderful to be accepted and appreciated like that - to be able to actually feel it from them.
I was feeling like an outcast rebel. I have been rejecting all external authority and systems over my life, including any "oversoul" or "higher self" or any supposed rules about life or spirituality. I want to be free to create whatever Irene and I imagine and want. I know she's with me, but still it felt a little isolated, which kind of pissed me off.
This morning I was doing some work and a company I've had do some website work for me called. I just let it go to voice message in the other room - I didn't hear anyone talking so I figured they hung up. After I took the dogs out for their noon walk I noticed the message light said there were two messages. I played them thinking they'd be blank and I'd just delete them.
The two message were not recordings, but this is how they both started out: "Mr. Murray, this is Irene, one of the professionals working on your website experience ..."
As readers know, Irene and I have been working on our afterlife experience for months, but here the past few days it's been as much about creating our current and transitional experience as we go forward until she, I and our dogs are fully in our experiential happy place, together. I knew exactly what Irene was telling me: she and others on my spirit team are working on our experience.
The feelings that washed over me were both some that I've experienced before - almost overwhelming love, gratitude, relief and joy, and another that felt like my whole body was being transformed. It lasted for about a half hour, a very tingly, electric sensation, like I was more alive than usual.
As I went back to work, I was drawn into a visualization. What I mean is that I felt my head spontaneously going into that vibrational zone I have when I meditate and visualize. I shut my eyes and found myself in one of Irene's secret rooms - and enormous, palatial room with blue, Moroccan tiles all over. I was sitting cross-legged on a couch covered with brown leather, facing Irene who was sitting cross legged facing me. There were several other people in the room sitting on matching pieces of furniture.
Irene leaned over and said, "Babe, it's all right. This is who you are and what you do. It's why you're there - to be yourself and do what you do."
Other voices chimed in. "Yeah, Dude," one said. "What you're doing is for all of us! Keep it up! It's who you are."
I looked back at Irene and the love, acceptance and relief I felt was .... well, I'm running out of superlatives. It was overwhelming times 2. I felt such relief at this love for who Irene and I are and what Irene and I are doing and for us breaking through these conceptual, afterlife and cosmological limitations and structures, for rebelling against the common themes and structures of "spirituality" and other norms and traditions.
It was very liberating and incredibly validating. Even though I rebel against the need for external validation, they gave it to me even though I didn't ask for it and didn't need it to go forward, but again I must admit it felt beyond wonderful to be accepted and appreciated like that - to be able to actually feel it from them.
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