Love After Life

My daughter, Gerra, and her son came and visited this past weekend, and my son and his family also came over to visit. We all had a great time and they had all left by noon Sunday. After doing a little work, Irene and I decided to check out a new series on Netflix. We enjoyed it so much we decided to just binge watch the series for the rest of the day, cuddled up on the couch and forgetting about anything else.  It sounds so trivial, but it was incredible.  We were just lost in enjoying each other's company and the show - no worries, no concerns, no work, no pressures.  Free to just enjoy ourselves without a care in the world. Here it is a couple of days later and I'm still feeling the amazing effects of just "letting go" and allowing us to be together, doing nothing "productive" whatsoever, just having fun. We ate popcorn, drank coffee and smoked and were just with each other in transformative bliss. I say "transformative" because that sim...

I think I'm going to start using Suzanne Geisemann's term "everlife" instead of "afterlife" because it incorporates this life as well as part of our eternal lives. This is, after all, just another form of experience in the infinite variety of experiences available to our eternal existence. The other day Irene and I were visualizing some new things in "Always" - our name for our private experience realm (not entirely private - we do plan on inviting others to visit).  A visualization of us popped in my head, the two of us in a couple's tube floating down a lazy water park-like "river" path, winding through our island, the warm sun on us and the view full of beautiful trees, plants, flowers, birds, and animals near the water.  It brought back the memory of when, as a child, my family went to the Ozarks and we tubed down the river there for a couple of miles. That was one of the best memories I have as a child, and I have quite a few....

A Powerful Intention This morning the first thing I did was an "intention-setting" meditation, which is my usual routine now.  When I do this I am searching for imagery and scenes in my mind that I wish to exist in and which generate an emotional connection and joyful reaction in me.  After sitting down cross-legged on my couch, I did my usual pre-meditation prayer of safety and guidance, immediately getting that familiar buzz which indicates that I'm tuned into "our" frequency. Very quickly after that, a scene popped into my mind of the two of us (Irene and I) sitting on white, wooden  lounge chairs on a deck overlooking the beach and ocean.  Our feet were propped up on the white deck rail and we both had a cup of coffee and we were smoking. We were dressed just like we were at our wedding - we didn't wear formal clothes at our wedding, which was held in our home at the time.  We were laughing about something and had great big smiles on our faces, lookin...

Here's my two cents worth on the subject of whether or not something is a sign from our loved ones. If you experience something that makes you think it might be a sign from a loved one letting you know they are with you and love you, instead of letting fear (of being wrong) and doubt trouble you, simply make a decision one way or another, but do so in a way that makes either decision help you out in your desire for better contact and communication with the other side. Anything anyone experiences with regard to afterlife communication and contact could have other explanations, even if highly implausible. Afterlife entities usually work through some sort of physical medium in this world - sounds that already exist, animals, light, etc. and arrange or manipulate those things to make contact.  Often it is nothing more than what could be a very unlikely coincidence or string of coincidences. The point here is that most of us are not scientists or attempting to scientifically and obj...

Update 7-22-2018 On Friday, July 20, 2018, we achieved our goal of having a completely real astral visitation with each other. It was amazing!  I never lost consciousness transitioning from this dimension to the one where we are together.  The conversation we were having telepathically in our bed here flowed seamlessly into my actually being in a room, sitting next to her, having that same conversation with her.  Although I was conscious when my experiential scene flipped from lying in bed to sitting on a couch in a room next her, it took me several minutes to become fully cognizant of the fact that I was actually feeling the couch, actually seeing her and everything else (including my own hands when I gestured while talking).  I could hear her voice and mine. You can read more about it starting here. (Updated 12-18-2017 - WJM - New Sequential Post Archive Started & Book Now Available on Amazon) I have posted my book,  "Love After Life," so it can...

Today, so far, I've felt great - really great.  I feel so connected to Irene it's like a constant high.  Last night there was no 6:00 bad or sad mood - my great mood lasted all through until I fell asleep.  Today there won't be much time to meditate as I will be having people over almost all day, but I don't even feel concerned about it because of this sense of connection, wholeness and joy. Maybe it will last, maybe not, but I definitely want to make note of it.  Finding out that the "buzzed feeling" is contact with Irene has meant so much, I can't describe it.  It's put me so at ease, at least for now, that we've "done it" - we've made real contact.  I can just feel her with me now and I know how to make good contact with her.  I'm not sure what focusing on that contact sense will bring in the future, but for right now I'm feeling so good it's probably illegal. If I have time after the kids leave I'll write mo...

Another really good morning so far.  Last night around 8pm I had a really, really good meditation - I felt like I could just stay in that zone for hours.  I felt like my astral body was trying to leave several times. Envisioning Irene is getting easier.  This morning I prayed while envisioning her praying with me, sitting beside me, and it was great!!  Then I had another really good meditation where I felt like I was trying to leave my body several times. The image of us being on a tropical beach or in and around the pool at our home on the other side has been popping up continuously in my mind.  Collecting images for my various afterlife Pinterest boards is giving me all sorts of deeply resonating imagery.  I think that finding things that resonate with your afterlife is a very good method of supporting intention. It's like I am building a stronger basis for the frequency at which Irene and I operate in the afterlife, drawing us closer together and keepi...

Yesterday went really well. Spent about six hours with my siblings and their spouses and had a great time with no crash afterward.  Sounds like progress! Something I realized more last evening was that now I actually cherish the sensation of missing Irene at times - it no longer comes from a place in me as if I've lost her, but rather it comes from a place where it is sweet and anticipatory, like when she would be somewhere else for a while during her life.  My sister asked me at one point if I felt her presence.  Since I know she reads this blog, I want to answer her here: you can always tell when I don't feel her presence - that's when I'm kneeling by the side of the bed sobbing and praying.  I feel her presence constantly in my heart and mind or else I couldn't continue to function. When I miss her I am missing the ability to hear her, touch her, and see her and fully communicate and interact, but now I have a good foundation of knowing, throughout my whole ...

Yesterday was a really good day - especially considering the day I had before.  I had really thought those kinds of grief attacks were a thing of the past.  I know I've got grief in me - I can feel it in my heart and throat at certain times every day. It's not like I've been trying to suppress it; it just flashes for a second or two, then subsides. Yesterday I had firmly in my mind what Irene said about overthinking everything, and assuming too much personal responsibility in trying to astral project and get to her.  I stopped thinking that outcomes to my efforts were in my hands - that I could figure them out or even help or hinder them. All I'm supposed to do is what is in front of me to do, and whatever I've signed up for here will unfold.  I set my intentions, say my affirmations and let it go, do what is in front of me and let go of everything else. As yesterday progressed I continued praying/affirming walking around with my hands on my chest and praying ou...

I had a couple of really good, deep meditations last evening after I took an antihistamine.  I've never really noticed, or rather I've put up with, very minor allergy symptoms, but as I've been meditating lately those symptoms have become really distracting.  I noticed quite a difference last night, especially when I was lying down doing the astral projection technique which I got through without any drainage or a constant need to swallow. Even without any major experiences, I believe the meditation has helped me tremendously.  After I wrote last night's blog entry - a letter to Irene - I meditated first in a sitting position on the couch for about 30 minutes, then in bed for however long it took me to fall asleep.  Meditation gives me a sense of peace and connection.  There are times during the day that I feel the need to meditate and after doing so I feel very much at peace. It's also gotten easier physically - my feet and legs don't go numb as quickly and I...

I had to drive into town again this morning. I really dislike having my routine interrupted but we (Irene and I) had a fun trip in and back. Later I was reading in the Facebook Grief Support Group about “moving on” and “finding a friend with benefits” or another life-partner. I thought it would be funny to reply something like “Well, Irene would haunt and harass the heck out of anyone that tried to get their hands on her man, so that wouldn’t be a good idea for me.” I didn’t, but it reminded me that Irene always said she was possessive , not jealous – you can only be jealous of what you don’t already have, and she already had me. I joked with her that you’re not supposed to be possessive in heaven and immediately thought about her saying “You just try it.” We both had a big laugh. That started this whole conversation I was going on with Irene about how ridiculous that would be – how miserable anything like another relationship would make me, how I’m extremely happy to be alone ...

Had an amazing session this morning.  Before I meditated, I received 3 messages from Irene that we are in total agreement about my meditating as if we are doing it together, using terms like “we” and “us”.  Throughout our time together here Irene would always say that as long as she and I were in sync and on the same page, we could do anything and create anything.  We talked about it several times, about how everything (including us) changed when we got together, and how many things happened like magic for us as long as we in harmony. Last night I wondered what we could have accomplished had we actually prayed and made our affirmations together - out loud, as we are doing now. This morning, when I start my meditation affirmations it is in a dual voice in my head – I could “hear” her voice in perfect unison with mine.  I noticed that there was a new affirmation that wasn’t part of my usual affirmation list and felt it was something she was adding to the sessi...

Woke up feeling great!! What a great, great day yesterday!!! I’m still charged up and so blown away by that video.  I definitely feel like I’m on the exact right track.  I do a 30 minute session after morning prayers, get up and go to work in my office, and for the next few hours I’m in bliss – I can feel Irene in my heart and head. I’m beyond happy, I’m goofy happy, complete and joyful, we’re cracking jokes and talking about stuff we’ve been through and are going through, we talk about yesterday. I play the “I can’t wait” song and it repeats by itself (even though my player is set to “randomize”).  I stop it after the second play and applaud her for making it repeat. We have some more fun and I play the song again, but it doesn’t repeat, an Exile song starts up. Now, Irene is a big Exile fan but I’m not. I think about stopping it but tell her “okay, but just this one, I’m not going to sit through an album’s worth of Exile songs.  Anyway the guy uses the phras...

What a good morning!  My morning session was more about being so appreciative of all the amazing blessings I have in my life.  I read over my prior entries as I’m putting them up on a blog and I realized I’ve lost like 10 lbs in 2 months.  I’m still feeling very good and appreciative, been talking with dead family all morning. That's one of my new things - acknowledging and talking to other dead relatives. Hey, I can use all the help I can get. So it’s 1:00 pm and have been feeling sooooo good all day, chatting away with Irene and the other family spirits while I work and putter around the house and I started feeling sad. I started telling myself that is was fine, it’s okay to go through sad times, they’ll pass and everything will be fine again, Irene will still be here, my family will still be here, my loved ones on the other side will still be here, at some point I’ll once again feel that wholeness and joy. I was walking toward my office with sad tears in my eyes a...

Wow, still felt completely different when I woke up.  Got a little irrationally concerned that I had broken something or messed something up because I felt so unemotional.  I realized that if we are actually embarked on a new form of our relationship, the thing to keep in mind is that a lot of it before was actually bittersweet - love infused with pain and sorrow and a kind of forlorn, longing nostalgia (which started even before she died.)  I started getting hints of our new relationship, though, and it is just like I felt before that I have commented on when I experienced those times of grace the past couple of months – a happy, joyful, playful love without pain, sorrow or longing. Just did a session with Irene, not because I needed to relieve pain, or had to in order to help prevent pain, but because I wanted to!  No forlorn longing.  No grief or sadness – I just wanted to be with my wife and listen and do my part in establishing and understanding our n...

Had some trouble in the evening yesterday, but by the time I went to sleep I was pretty good and fell right to sleep.  Woke up this morning and felt sad (about a 4 on the scale where 5 is normal). Was drinking some coffee with Irene and watching a little TV before our morning session when she pulled another commercial switch, this time during live TV.  I was watching Catfish (one of our favorite shows) and couldn’t jump forward because it wasn’t a recorded show, and just as it ended I realized I had been watching that Honda “perfect Accord” commercial again, and I wanted to make sure it was that commercial, flipped back 10 seconds and it was an entirely different commercial. I couldn’t get that perfect accord commercial to play again.  The effect it had on me was an amazing transformation, very, very good emotionally. I am so happy now and feel so complete and connected to Irene. I’ve decided that I must be what is called “clairsentient”, in the sense that I can ...

It was a long day yesterday, Robert, Gerra and Micheal pulled boxes out of the attic and were going through it upstairs.  I had asked them to do it upstairs because I didn't want to have an adverse reaction like the last time. They found Irene’s old journal that has entries in it from a month before we met to 2-3 months after we met.  Reading that was such a beautiful experience, I think Irene planned this out. To see what she said in her own private thoughts about me and what was going on just before and then when we first met wasn’t new – she had told me all this before – but it just made it so real and brought me back to those first days of our time together her.  I got my old journal out to compare the two. When we met it was unlike anything either of us had ever experienced – it was like we were waiting for each other and longing for each other our whole lives without even realizing it.  There was a empty, sad, lonely place in each of us no matter who w...

Had a great day yesterday and having a great one today so far.  Little bit of a breakthrough in realizing that when I do a session I either immediately or eventually feel this emotional surge in my heart which I have mistaken for pain but it’s not – I think it’s how I’m sensing Irene now, and along with that emotional sensation a small portion of it is pain and sorrow that I think is just automatically generated by my physical/psychological addiction to her.   By closely monitoring the experience and going through it gradually I realize there’s a lot of joy and happiness and closeness to her, I just have to learn to separate the two and get over/past the pain part.  It leaves me feeling very satisfied and happy.  I’ve been staying pretty much at normal or above the past few days even though they have been very tiring, active and draining with several trips into town and several kids staying over.  I’m actually enjoying it more and more and feeling less an...

This morning I woke up and went directly to work – something I had told myself yesterday was what I needed to start doing because that is how I’ve always been able to work well and feel satisfied about it. I got up feeling very good, and just felt better and better as time went by. I’m going to write myself a letter to read back to myself whenever I start going wonky to reinforce the fact that when I start feeling that way, it is not an illusion or a self-deception that I have experienced long runs of time where I am absolutely happy, whole, fulfilled, joyful, and feel totally, ecstatically connected to Irene. We can absolutely find an ongoing state of being, her in that world and me in this one, for as long as I am still here, where I feel blissfully connected to her and full of love, joy, and light, motivated with purpose and value and meaning. I am not kidding myself, fooling myself or misrepresenting the sensations and feelings. The experience is real and apparently when I ...

I woke up feeling better, started feeling worse, said the heck with it and. went back to sleep.  Sometimes the only reasonable response to irrational heartache is sleep. If you can. I've been very lucky in this respect. Got to feeling worse and worse, full of confusion, didn’t even do a morning routine because I was so confused about it and felt so bad and unmotivated.  Sat down around noon and prayed the usual, then started meditating and the realization came to me that I was just making it all too hard.  I didn’t want to do my old formal Sant Mat meditation and I didn’t want to listen to any of the things people wrote in books about what I should or shouldn’t do that didn't make sense to me.  It's too confusing. I focused directly on Irene and on words that applied to her – love, joy, feeling whole and complete, connection, soul mate, delight, happiness – and then she was with me, I could feel it all, her sitting cross-legged in front of me, holding my extend...