Joyful Longing
I had a couple of really good, deep meditations last evening after I took an antihistamine. I've never really noticed, or rather I've put up with, very minor allergy symptoms, but as I've been meditating lately those symptoms have become really distracting. I noticed quite a difference last night, especially when I was lying down doing the astral projection technique which I got through without any drainage or a constant need to swallow.
Even without any major experiences, I believe the meditation has helped me tremendously. After I wrote last night's blog entry - a letter to Irene - I meditated first in a sitting position on the couch for about 30 minutes, then in bed for however long it took me to fall asleep. Meditation gives me a sense of peace and connection. There are times during the day that I feel the need to meditate and after doing so I feel very much at peace. It's also gotten easier physically - my feet and legs don't go numb as quickly and I stay very comfortable the whole time.
I still have the sensations of trying to leave my body, but I realized I was having another kind of experience I want to write up here.
Much of the time when I envision Irene it feels like I'm just imagining her and while I enjoy that, there are other times when she just kind of pops into my head looking a certain way, in a certain environment, with a certain outfit on and I have big emotional reaction to it - an enormous smile pops on my face and my heart starts racing as if I'm actually seeing her - I experience a sensation of joy that doesn't come at other times when I imagine her. I'm thinking the joyful experiences actually have something of hers in them - some effort on her part to reach me and I can sense it via my clairsentience. In any event, that's what I'm going to consciously chalk it up to - that when I have those kinds of experiences, it's her coming through with imagery she's sending to my mind.
Yesterday afternoon Robert & Shanna took me out to the movies, and afterward we went to eat and I was really surprised to find that the Mexican restaurant there served several vegetarian dishes. In this small town area in Texas, "vegetarian" isn't usually on the menu. Not that I'm a vegetarian, but I do try to keep my eating really light to aid in my meditation and raising of my vibration. It was really good and I've never even seen that little cafe and shop area before - it looked and felt like a tiny bit of the San Antonio Riverwalk. It was a great evening, but it left me longing for a healthy, physical Irene by my side, which led me to write that letter last night.
The sadness last night didn't last long. I wrote Irene a card and sent it to her although I imagine she was watching me write it. As soon as I started meditating I felt whole and connected again. There are certain thought patterns that are simply not helpful for me to pursue and Irene reminds me constantly when I start going down those paths. Remembering certain things and longing for them is a minefield for those who have lost loved ones. It's better to long for future interactions with them - that's a good intention and one that is filled with expectancy and joy, not sorrow and grief. It's like when Irene and I first met and lived quite a distance apart - I longed, with happy anticipation, to see her again. That's a good longing.
This morning I feel great and I have a full day of work and meditation ahead of me, and to cap it off Robert & Shanna are coming over to cook dinner and watch Game of Thrones!
Even without any major experiences, I believe the meditation has helped me tremendously. After I wrote last night's blog entry - a letter to Irene - I meditated first in a sitting position on the couch for about 30 minutes, then in bed for however long it took me to fall asleep. Meditation gives me a sense of peace and connection. There are times during the day that I feel the need to meditate and after doing so I feel very much at peace. It's also gotten easier physically - my feet and legs don't go numb as quickly and I stay very comfortable the whole time.
I still have the sensations of trying to leave my body, but I realized I was having another kind of experience I want to write up here.
Much of the time when I envision Irene it feels like I'm just imagining her and while I enjoy that, there are other times when she just kind of pops into my head looking a certain way, in a certain environment, with a certain outfit on and I have big emotional reaction to it - an enormous smile pops on my face and my heart starts racing as if I'm actually seeing her - I experience a sensation of joy that doesn't come at other times when I imagine her. I'm thinking the joyful experiences actually have something of hers in them - some effort on her part to reach me and I can sense it via my clairsentience. In any event, that's what I'm going to consciously chalk it up to - that when I have those kinds of experiences, it's her coming through with imagery she's sending to my mind.
Yesterday afternoon Robert & Shanna took me out to the movies, and afterward we went to eat and I was really surprised to find that the Mexican restaurant there served several vegetarian dishes. In this small town area in Texas, "vegetarian" isn't usually on the menu. Not that I'm a vegetarian, but I do try to keep my eating really light to aid in my meditation and raising of my vibration. It was really good and I've never even seen that little cafe and shop area before - it looked and felt like a tiny bit of the San Antonio Riverwalk. It was a great evening, but it left me longing for a healthy, physical Irene by my side, which led me to write that letter last night.
The sadness last night didn't last long. I wrote Irene a card and sent it to her although I imagine she was watching me write it. As soon as I started meditating I felt whole and connected again. There are certain thought patterns that are simply not helpful for me to pursue and Irene reminds me constantly when I start going down those paths. Remembering certain things and longing for them is a minefield for those who have lost loved ones. It's better to long for future interactions with them - that's a good intention and one that is filled with expectancy and joy, not sorrow and grief. It's like when Irene and I first met and lived quite a distance apart - I longed, with happy anticipation, to see her again. That's a good longing.
This morning I feel great and I have a full day of work and meditation ahead of me, and to cap it off Robert & Shanna are coming over to cook dinner and watch Game of Thrones!
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