Love After Life

Irene and I have been spending a LOT of time together focusing on my being able to see her, touch her, and hear her.  Yesterday we spent 4-5 hours total.  Last week we went three days like that and it culminated in an extremely serene, almost transcendent sensation of being together, without any trace of worries or doubt. Then family came in and other obligations and I found myself feeling a little numb and disconnected, but I went right back to it and felt totally reconnected very quickly.  I started mentally talking to Irene and envisioning her while family was here to try to maintain the connection. I've honestly been feeling like I'm going to have to tell my family to stay away unless I figure out how to keep their presence from disconnecting me from Irene.  So, I've been working some on techniques to solve that problem. What this has shown us is that it's all about attention. Yes people, myself included, use the terms "vibration" and "frequency"...

The amazing meditation I had on the 16th crystallized something I've been thinking about writing for a while, giving me a surge of motivation and excitement about it. So, I started it that night and I woke up excited to continue the next morning. I envision it as a book of short stories about me and Irene together in the afterlife in the future. Writing these stories is my way of deeply connecting to Irene via visualization. While writing, it became very clear, very fast, that writing the first story was simultaneously producing one of the most compelling visualizations I've experienced. (Well,DUH! You kind of have to visualize scenes you're writing about!) The emotional connection and sensations were so strong I had to take several breaks just to calm down and savor the incredibly wonderful feelings. At one point I thought I would either pass out or leave my body. The title is: " The Afterlife Adventures of Bill and Irene. " I'm writing it on Google Docs ...

Today the atmospherics completely changed, including a thirty-degree drop in the temperature.  Everything felt different. After prayer and an EVP recording this morning, I sat for meditation and Irene asked me where I'd like to have interaction with her, now that I know they are are completely real locations.  We settled on the big padded bench swing that sits overlooking the ocean and the horizon at the top of the path that leads down to the beach from our astral home. As we settled into our "spoon" position looking out at the view, she turned around facing me and said, "You do understand this is real, right?  You are actually here right now, even though it doesn't feel like that to you yet."  "I'm actually here, right now, with you." I repeated in agreement.  I could see her in my mind very clearly, feel her. It was still an envisioning, but suddenly this enormous swell of emotion just climbed from my heart up to my head bringing a...

There was a healthy debate in the Afterlife Topics group about the nature of relationships and existence when someone said something I've heard time and time again - that relationships don't last forever and there there is no such thing as an "eternal", committed, romantic soul mate relationship. I started wondering about why someone would say that or believe it.  I don't see that there's a logical reason why such relationships cannot exist.  It seems that many people are committed to the idea that all relationships either boil down to the individual and god, the individual and the universe, the individual's relationship to everyone else as a whole, or just everyone and everything as "one", either in constant eternal fluctuation or, at some level, some form of unified, pure bliss where there is no sense of individual identity. I remember before I met Irene I had utterly dispatched the idea of "true love", or any "soul mate...

I was originally writing this in the Afterlife Topics Facebook group in response to someone asking if people had ever had the departed use music to contact them, but then what happened while I was writing it makes it something I need to document here. As readers of this blog know, Irene often uses music to let me know how she's here and how she feels about me. I have 200+ songs in my system and let them random play when I listen to music. The first time she used music was after a couple of songs played that I thought were odd because they were both songs she liked to listen to with me, so I said "Okay, babe, if that's you, play our Shania Twain song next" , and it was the next song that played: "You're Still The One". The next time a song just popped into my head I really had no reason to think of - "I Can't Wait," by Nu Shooz. It kept playing like a soundtrack in my head every morning when I woke up. That started a whole chain of ev...

Yesterday afternoon and evening, for whatever reason, was a time I basically just had to distract myself from.  I don't know if it was the weather, other people's vibes, something I ate, time of year or what, but my mind was frazzled and my meditations felt superficial.  So, I just watched TV, did what work I could, then went to bed. This morning I woke up in a rather bad mood and wasn't being at all friendly to my spirit team.  I suppose I was a little frustrated, even though they reminded me that others, such as those suffering from Hurricane Harvey, have it much, much worse.  I knew I was being a bit of a self-centered pill but I really had not answer for it. Then I noticed Pico,  one of my Pekingese, sitting on the floor in front of me, just staring up at the pictures I have of Irene on her "shrine", with this lost and sad look on his face.  That just broke my heart.  I got up and got a set of pictures I had printed on a foamcore board at set i...

During the day I talk with irene all the time.  It's not continuous - I do work and focus on that when I am working, and I do sleep and do other things that require my attention. Occasionally I talk "to" Irene, but now I mostly talk with her and allow myself to "imagine" her responses (as per my post a few days ago about Irene and irene) and her with me. This gives me such a great sensation.  I feel like she is close and has her attention on me when I do this, as I have my attention on her.  When I walk the dogs or do dishes I love to have conversations with her.  We talk about the children, grandchildren and our great-grandchild; how we are doing as far as getting through all this; what we plan on doing in the afterlife; what I'm doing here with whatever time I have left; we talk about our lives here and things that we went through.    During these conversations (which, on my end, I speak out loud), we often have a banter that makes me laugh out lo...

No confirmation so far on the stuff I was talking about the other day, but I guess I didn't need it. Or maybe I was just supposed  to make my own decision on it.  I guess I had really already made my decision about it and just wanted support in making it. Anyway, the guy in the video from the other day was talking about how he opened up his ability to speak to the dead.  He was a highly skeptical person and didn't believe that talking to the dead or even spirit guides was possible, so he just pretended to be talking to them in his mind.  If you've ever had a pretend conversation with someone in your mind, you know what I'm talking about.  I would often have long conversations in my head with living people, but it was really just me basically trying to sort something out in my own mind.  Come to think about it, they really weren't "conversations" as much as me, in my head, trying to explain to someone (usually my brother Reed) what I was thinking, and by ...

It's been a good morning. I prayed as if Irene was sitting next to me, holding my hand and praying along with me, and it was great!  Then I had a good meditation/intention/affirmation where I easily envisioned us together.  I spent time talking to Irene and my spirit team and realized I just need to keep talking to them, even if I feel like I'm whining too much, because talking out loud about all that is going on infuses my experience with a sense of reality about them, what we're doing, what we're trying to do, and the afterlife I envision. It makes it all more real for me to talk about it out loud, infusing it in all my daily activities.  That's pretty important - to make it feel real to me.  The normal physical world is unrelenting and pervasive, so I have to do whatever it takes to keep all of this fresh and infused in my consciousness and daily life. If that means acting like a crazy old man, oh well. After reading some in the Zammit's Facebook afte...

I woke up this morning actually feeling satisfied and happy.  I don't think I realized how big a weight that single unanswered question from yesterday has been weighing on me.  In fact, it's something I realize now has been weighing on me my entire life - but I definitely see why it was important for me to not know the answer until now - to really, truly experience the lack and loss I came here to experience.  Knowing that I came here for that reason changes everything in a fundamental way. I can also now understand why some come here to experience truly horrible conditions and events. That sense of deep appreciation afterward is not something that can be faked or learned academically or through simulation. It all makes sense to me now. I'm not saying this is the reason everyone comes here - I don't think that's the case by any means.  But for me, it puts my life in a perspective were I can really understand it and accept it and see clearly why the things that h...

Yesterday was a really good day - especially considering the day I had before.  I had really thought those kinds of grief attacks were a thing of the past.  I know I've got grief in me - I can feel it in my heart and throat at certain times every day. It's not like I've been trying to suppress it; it just flashes for a second or two, then subsides. Yesterday I had firmly in my mind what Irene said about overthinking everything, and assuming too much personal responsibility in trying to astral project and get to her.  I stopped thinking that outcomes to my efforts were in my hands - that I could figure them out or even help or hinder them. All I'm supposed to do is what is in front of me to do, and whatever I've signed up for here will unfold.  I set my intentions, say my affirmations and let it go, do what is in front of me and let go of everything else. As yesterday progressed I continued praying/affirming walking around with my hands on my chest and praying ou...

7:00 a.m. I fell asleep last night talking to Irene.  I love being in that dreamy state, still semi-conscious ... it lets me feel much more connected to her.  We continued the conversation this morning and I realized I was placing far too big a burden on myself - as she always says, overthinking things.   During the course of our relationship here, I learned that things worked out best when I stopped myself from trying to figure things out and simply went forward with her intuitions and "knowing".  Whether or not I believed something could happen, simply not getting in the way and not refusing to go along, not trying to talk her out of something, always worked out great. Eventually we got to the place where I could actively do my part in facilitating her intuitions and just trust what she felt. For instance, I never thought we'd be able to buy a home, and certainly not this particular, ridiculously large older home with 11' ceilings. Yet, I went through all the ...

I had a couple of really good, deep meditations last evening after I took an antihistamine.  I've never really noticed, or rather I've put up with, very minor allergy symptoms, but as I've been meditating lately those symptoms have become really distracting.  I noticed quite a difference last night, especially when I was lying down doing the astral projection technique which I got through without any drainage or a constant need to swallow. Even without any major experiences, I believe the meditation has helped me tremendously.  After I wrote last night's blog entry - a letter to Irene - I meditated first in a sitting position on the couch for about 30 minutes, then in bed for however long it took me to fall asleep.  Meditation gives me a sense of peace and connection.  There are times during the day that I feel the need to meditate and after doing so I feel very much at peace. It's also gotten easier physically - my feet and legs don't go numb as quickly and I...

I had a dream about Irene last night, only lasted a few seconds but it was still more than the other 4 where she appeared for only a second or two. I was in charge of throwing trash out of the house (this was like my mother’s house on 30th street) and had big bags of trash outside. I also helped the neighbor carry some of her trash out – or was it all her trash? I don’t quite remember. I was with some other guy who said that Irene said she was going to get rid of the trash and that I needed to help. Anyway we walked outside to check on things and Irene was outside in her overall shorts, about the age I met her, doing some gardening around where that big tree used to be in my mother’s front yard, said something like “you’re the undertaker” somehow meaning it was my job to get rid of the trash? Or the old stuff? Or the dead stuff? - while she was working on planting the new stuff. Anyway I was so excited to see her and hear her voice I woke up. Had a really good session, new meditati...

Evening ended well yesterday, full session, was a little nervous around 6pm and after that I might have something negative going on but it never really surfaced.  Gerra got her new car deal (getting the actual car Wednesday) with a clear signal from Irene.  Woke up this morning feeling really good, had a good full session.  Day progressed well, did one more full session, only felt slightly off at one point after a family member came over and talked.  I’m thinking I’m going to need to put in a session every time after people visit just to make sure I clear out all emotions that are not my own. My sessions are not strict or formal - it depends on if I feel like doing something in particular first or just don't feel like doing something else yet.  Often I begin with just talking with Irene. We talk about the kids, grandkids and our great granddaughter, about our plans for the future; about things we went through here; I try to imagine what her life is lik...