Overthinking Everything, Part 4
7:00 a.m.
I fell asleep last night talking to Irene. I love being in that dreamy state, still semi-conscious ... it lets me feel much more connected to her. We continued the conversation this morning and I realized I was placing far too big a burden on myself - as she always says, overthinking things.
During the course of our relationship here, I learned that things worked out best when I stopped myself from trying to figure things out and simply went forward with her intuitions and "knowing". Whether or not I believed something could happen, simply not getting in the way and not refusing to go along, not trying to talk her out of something, always worked out great. Eventually we got to the place where I could actively do my part in facilitating her intuitions and just trust what she felt.
For instance, I never thought we'd be able to buy a home, and certainly not this particular, ridiculously large older home with 11' ceilings. Yet, I went through all the motions and followed where events led and did everything put in front of me to do, and at some point we found ourselves in the totally surreal position of signing all the papers and having the keys placed in our hands. There was literally no way, in my logical, analytical mind, that we would ever own a home like this short of winning a small lottery. I didn't make enough money, or so my mind was telling me. Yet, there we were, and it felt so strange, like we had literally created our own world out of nothing but faith and love. We moved our bed and a couple of things to spend the night there and that night we could hardly sleep we were so in awe and so happy. All because Irene knew we were going to find a home like this, kept looking, and knew this was the one as soon as she saw it and had walked in - and us with no money for a down payment and surely not making enough money for a house like that.
And Irene was so very happy - she had dreamed of a house like this for years and years, telling me about those dreams and describing how the house she dreamed of had "secret rooms" - like our house has upstairs. It was the culmination of something she had longed for since before we met - a true love to complete her family and a big home in this small town we could all be in comfortably. All of it occurred through totally unplanned sequences of events embarked on through pure faith and love, a path she intuitively knew and understood.
So my point is that Irene has let me know - again - that I worry too much and I'm placing too much of a burden on myself, that these things happen in their own time as long as I'm not actively working to stop it from happening. As long as I am doing what is put in front of me to do, and as long as I'm praying and affirming and setting my intentions, things will unfold and occur according to whatever plan we had coming in here, and she will be with me every step of the way, helping me, prodding me, giving me signs, etc., until we can discuss these things in person. Plus, she has help over there, so I can stop putting everything on me as if everything depends on every little decision I make, like what particular astral projection technique I use, or if I'm doing everything possible in a day to stay in contact with Irene.
So I just walked the dogs and I very easily envisioned Irene with me the whole time - almost continuously. It was a very clear envisioning and at one point she came up close and I could clearly envision her face and eyes and my heart and breathing started to rush, as if she was there. Usually envisioning her requires effort on my part and it's really difficult to maintain. This was really easy, as if I was actually seeing and hearing her. I don't know what it was, but it was really good.
I fell asleep last night talking to Irene. I love being in that dreamy state, still semi-conscious ... it lets me feel much more connected to her. We continued the conversation this morning and I realized I was placing far too big a burden on myself - as she always says, overthinking things.
During the course of our relationship here, I learned that things worked out best when I stopped myself from trying to figure things out and simply went forward with her intuitions and "knowing". Whether or not I believed something could happen, simply not getting in the way and not refusing to go along, not trying to talk her out of something, always worked out great. Eventually we got to the place where I could actively do my part in facilitating her intuitions and just trust what she felt.
For instance, I never thought we'd be able to buy a home, and certainly not this particular, ridiculously large older home with 11' ceilings. Yet, I went through all the motions and followed where events led and did everything put in front of me to do, and at some point we found ourselves in the totally surreal position of signing all the papers and having the keys placed in our hands. There was literally no way, in my logical, analytical mind, that we would ever own a home like this short of winning a small lottery. I didn't make enough money, or so my mind was telling me. Yet, there we were, and it felt so strange, like we had literally created our own world out of nothing but faith and love. We moved our bed and a couple of things to spend the night there and that night we could hardly sleep we were so in awe and so happy. All because Irene knew we were going to find a home like this, kept looking, and knew this was the one as soon as she saw it and had walked in - and us with no money for a down payment and surely not making enough money for a house like that.
And Irene was so very happy - she had dreamed of a house like this for years and years, telling me about those dreams and describing how the house she dreamed of had "secret rooms" - like our house has upstairs. It was the culmination of something she had longed for since before we met - a true love to complete her family and a big home in this small town we could all be in comfortably. All of it occurred through totally unplanned sequences of events embarked on through pure faith and love, a path she intuitively knew and understood.
So my point is that Irene has let me know - again - that I worry too much and I'm placing too much of a burden on myself, that these things happen in their own time as long as I'm not actively working to stop it from happening. As long as I am doing what is put in front of me to do, and as long as I'm praying and affirming and setting my intentions, things will unfold and occur according to whatever plan we had coming in here, and she will be with me every step of the way, helping me, prodding me, giving me signs, etc., until we can discuss these things in person. Plus, she has help over there, so I can stop putting everything on me as if everything depends on every little decision I make, like what particular astral projection technique I use, or if I'm doing everything possible in a day to stay in contact with Irene.
So I just walked the dogs and I very easily envisioned Irene with me the whole time - almost continuously. It was a very clear envisioning and at one point she came up close and I could clearly envision her face and eyes and my heart and breathing started to rush, as if she was there. Usually envisioning her requires effort on my part and it's really difficult to maintain. This was really easy, as if I was actually seeing and hearing her. I don't know what it was, but it was really good.
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