Love After Life

It was nice today to be able to get back in my routine.  Early this morning I was enjoying a smoke on my back porch and having a discussion with Irene, a continuation of the "what is the nature of reality" conversation that we have been having and which we discussed a lot while I was down at Gerra's.  This morning I told some extra confirmation would be appreciated even though it had already been confirmed several times, especially through that television show Awake. A Jehova's Witness minister and his wife, who come by here about once a month, came by and after we sat in the living room and he spoke a while, his wife started talking about faith, and what the Biblical definition of faith was.  She read Hebrews 11:1, which says (in their version): Faith is the assured expectation of what is hoped for, the evident demonstration of realities that are not seen.   This exactly represents what I've been working on for weeks now, a perfect confirmation of how I see ...

There are mornings, like today, I wake up and I don't feel good or bad, I just feel completely ambivalent. I really think it has a lot to do with the physical atmosphere. It's heavy again here with a lot of humidity after a lot of rain last night. A couple of hours after I got up, though, I felt Irene just sort of vibe into me. It felt so good and immediately changed my frequency back into our zone. It didn't have hardly any of the associated sadness that contact with her used to bring, although it did carry with it a unique emotional content I've talked about before; it's really good, it's just not like anything else, so it's hard to put any label on. Meditation was excellent although the universe kept interrupting me for whatever reason.  I still have the family issues that cropped came barreling through like a freight train, but we're working on those and can at least see a way forward.  I'm really not very good at adapting to certain situatio...

To continue from yesterday, I don't know what it was but it felt like I was coming down with something.  I continued to feel worse until Wheel of Fortune came on and, in my mind, Irene was there with me as usual and I completely calmed down and felt much better mentally and emotionally, even though I still felt a little under the weather.  I had to keep reminding myself to stop thinking, to stop trying to figure it out, that when I felt like that it's time to just get through and let time pass until I feel better.  I told myself I'd feel fine in the morning - and I do! It's so baffling how, when I feel that way, all these strange and unsettling thoughts and mental/emotional sensations manifest.  Also, my ability to even think about those thoughts and feelings rationally or objectively becomes impaired and I end up fueling them somehow.  This morning I'm thinking that "trying to figure something out", which used to be my "go-to" process, is ac...

Today hasn't been a great day, but it has been a "good enough" day.  I'm longing for the heavenly version of us off and on.  Had a good prayer as usual and the meditations have been really good today (lots of "connection vibration" and deep relaxation), but for whatever reasons I've got some sorrowful longing going on - nothing dramatic, but enough to bring a few tears to my eyes. I started wondering what the issue was, then thought of my new acronym - LIFT, which stands for Love, Intention, Intuition, Faith and Trust.  Focus my intentions on what I Love ; let Intuition direct me and sort through my options; have Faith in the process; Trust the plan, God, Irene and those working on my behalf. It reminds me that I don't have to figure this stuff out. I don't have to dig deep and find out if I have unexamined pains, guilt or regret.  I don't have to figure out what I have to do next.  I don't have to figure out how to astral project or ...

I'm remembering more of what I dream now, which is part of my intentions.  The dream I had before waking this morning didn't mean anything to me, but at least I did remember some of it when I woke. I'm in the process of doing the AREI Self-Guided Afterlife Connection to see if I can get anything out of it, and also it's another thing I can do to "make real" my intention of increasing my communication with Irene.  This morning I read some materials in that process that confirmed several things I had come to believe about what I've been experiencing. First and foremost, it confirmed the difference between things I deliberately imagine and things that just pop into my mind on their own. There is a big difference in those experiences, and the material confirms that the experiences I have of things just popping into my head does indeed come from outside of my imagination. These are things Irene, other loved ones or my spirit guides put into my head for m...

7:00 a.m. I fell asleep last night talking to Irene.  I love being in that dreamy state, still semi-conscious ... it lets me feel much more connected to her.  We continued the conversation this morning and I realized I was placing far too big a burden on myself - as she always says, overthinking things.   During the course of our relationship here, I learned that things worked out best when I stopped myself from trying to figure things out and simply went forward with her intuitions and "knowing".  Whether or not I believed something could happen, simply not getting in the way and not refusing to go along, not trying to talk her out of something, always worked out great. Eventually we got to the place where I could actively do my part in facilitating her intuitions and just trust what she felt. For instance, I never thought we'd be able to buy a home, and certainly not this particular, ridiculously large older home with 11' ceilings. Yet, I went through all the ...

I had such a good day yesterday!  I am feeling better and better, more and more confident in our new relationship, in the tools I have to handle emotional problems  and in my new life direction.  What else can I do but follow and pursue what I really love?  Last night I started missing Irene and I said out loud, “I’m starting to feel sad and missing you, baby.” … and it was like someone just waved their hand and removed it from me.  I told Irene what I experienced, and validated it and thanked her.  It was amazing!  I probably don’t have to actually tell her out loud like I do, but I love talking to her out loud anyway and it can’t hurt. I was also thinking last night about how much time I spend meditating and what I'm actually trying to accomplish – making that hyper-real contact with Irene and heaven that NDEers and other spiritual practitioners talk about. I want to spend more time actually meditating for that purpose. This morning I meditated ...

Well okay, after pain and sorrow kicked my ass all last evening and today, I’ve come to the tentative realization that I’m just going to have to endure it at times. It's just physical withdrawal.  I’ll have some good times, some bad times, and just as the bad times have lessened their degree over the past couple of months, they’ll hopefully continue to lessen, and over time I’ll be able to have more and more normal and good times and increase my connection to Irene and be able to think of her and remember her with less pain and sorrow attached. The thing is, though, now I know I will survive the bad times and I know they will in fact go away and I will in fact experience joy and happiness again. Felt pretty good for a while this evening, had a good session, started realizing how blessed I am and how much I have to be grateful for.  I know my soulmate and spent 27 years with her in an amazing, loving relationship; I know where she is; I know she still exists and is always ...

Woke up feeling good, had a great 15 minute session.  I'm feeling really positive that this new session technique lets me contact Irene very intimately any time I want or need and blow out all fear, sadness, pain, doubt or negativity that might be creeping in on me and put my mind and heart in a good place for a very good duration.  I can also repeat the new mantra words any time I start sensing any negativity creeping in or just when I want to feel closer to her. I had to do 2 more sessions as I found myself sliding down, and while those sessions “normalized” me and I didn’t slide down into a grief session, they didn’t seem as powerful as the first times.    However, Irene let me know that this was like other things in our life, where all I have to do is not stop us from going forward, but just do what I can to stay on the train and keep going forward as best I can.  I know that the really good state of existence/experience for me here can happen at any ...