Love After Life

As I wrote in an earlier blog, my daughter coming to live with me brought in some serious challenges for me to have to deal with mentally, and it went beyond the initial emotional vibration.  It felt like I was being pushed out of my current dimensional structure and it was rather unsettling.  The first thing I needed to do was take responsibility and take command instead of simply reacting and trying to sort out and deal with my reactions.  I assigned my daughter's issues to "spirit" - I could only do what I could do for her, which did not include solving her lifelong problems.  She had a safe place to live, food, etc.  The rest was up to her and her spirit team. Second, I began affirmations that all of this was ultimate in our (Irene's and my) benefit. Third, I knew that to keep on vibratory track with what Irene and I were doing, I'd have to keep doing full-lotus position meditation along with visualizations to keep from being emotionally dragged into my daug...

Night before last I had a very bizarre dream.  I woke up feeling great, but the dream was really weird.  I was joking with Irene about it, about how maybe I didn't really want to remember all my dreams, but just the good ones with her in it. Later, it was time to run into town to do some errands, and the thought ran through my mind that she hadn't done any musical signs or synchronicities lately, but it's not like I ever really give her the opportunity - I don't listen to much music and when I'm in the car I listen to news. We were on our way to town and I turned on the radio to listen to some news, but the station had been changed, and the very first thing I heard, immediately on turning it on, was the word "dreamweaver".  The song was on and at the very end.  Very cool synchronistic sign. Irene has been really good at giving me emotional rushes when she wants to prod me in a direction, or when she agrees with me about something. I can think of doing some...

Lately when I do my lying-down meditation, I've had more flashes of sights and sounds that seem real - meaning, it sounds as if I'm actually hearing something, and looks as if I'm actually seeing something. This is entirely different from the more dream-like state which feels more like what we normally call "dreams."  I'm conscious when they occur and I often think for a second that I have my eyes open, or that I'm hearing someone speak. Today I did several of these kinds of meditations and at one point  I had a momentary vision that I was sitting on the couch in the living room and looking down at what appeared to be a color-coded schedule of some sort in my hands.  This is similar to another such "vision" when I was in the same position, the same room, but it was a black square in my hands.  When this happens, I'm observing things from the first-person view and it is my peripheral vision that allows me to see where I am because I'm lo...

I've already written here about some of this, but the flood of synchronicities lately has me wanting to at least write some of them down. Some of it is so interwoven you really have to follow the tracks. A few weeks ago I made the decision to not do any more EVP attempts and I told Irene that if she wanted to do it let me know.  Last Friday before last there was a guy in our soul mate group who asked if he could try to use EVP to contact Irene.  He did so and she responded that she was there and we are soul mates.  Later that day she changed the channel to her favorite show and then, when I attempted to watch a recorded show, she made a different one come on (instead of the one I clicked) and that show started with a character talking to his dead wife (even though that scene had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the show.) My blog post from May thirteenth describes an incredible synchronicity where an obscure but famous person from another country and been broug...

It was nice today to be able to get back in my routine.  Early this morning I was enjoying a smoke on my back porch and having a discussion with Irene, a continuation of the "what is the nature of reality" conversation that we have been having and which we discussed a lot while I was down at Gerra's.  This morning I told some extra confirmation would be appreciated even though it had already been confirmed several times, especially through that television show Awake. A Jehova's Witness minister and his wife, who come by here about once a month, came by and after we sat in the living room and he spoke a while, his wife started talking about faith, and what the Biblical definition of faith was.  She read Hebrews 11:1, which says (in their version): Faith is the assured expectation of what is hoped for, the evident demonstration of realities that are not seen.   This exactly represents what I've been working on for weeks now, a perfect confirmation of how I see ...

The past several days I've been helping  Gerra out in Austin after she gave birth to my new granddaughter, Kyra Irene and I just got back yesterday.  I'm still working my way back into my normal routine. What I've found so heartening, though, was my capacity to emotionally and psychologically weather a six-day upheaval of my routine, including sleep and meditation patterns.  Arriving back home was a very welcome event, but I never came close to having a serious emotional downswing.  Even the physical part wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, with all the driving around, lack of sleep, and the physical exertions that were out of my ordinary pattern. In fact, I enjoyed myself immensely, and never felt as though I was losing contact with Irene or losing my way as far as our goals and direction.  I felt very confident that everything was fine and that things were going as they should.  Gerra has nice back yard spot to spend quiet time and I used that...

Last night I asked for help in astral projection and to have dreams I could remember and would be helpful in that attempt and the continued strengthening of the connection between me and Irene, and also to open me up to more help from my spirit team. Waking up about 3:30 a.m. or so, I stayed up a little bit deciding what to do. I had read that it's best to attempt astral projection after you wake up but before your body and mind has time to go into full wakefulness mode. So I lay back down to try to get into the "drifting off" state they described but not to actually fall asleep.  That was relatively easy since I had two cups of decaf before going to bed and I kept having to use the bathroom! Irene was in one of the dreams; someone was helping me look through a book of images and there was one with Irene, and as I looked it turned into a video of her walking through what looked like a mall with my brother, his wife and my sister. I was looking at the scene from high a...

I had another exhausting day yesterday with family - good, but exhausting.  I get hit with way too many frequencies and basically end up needing to isolate myself, but at least now it's back to the usual impact and I don't have to constantly worry about crashing or having emotional "attacks" during such events. Today has been very interesting.  I lay down a couple of times for astral projection attempts while falling asleep and began trying to focus on the semi-dream imagery that would begin to play out as I was drifting off.  It was hard to remember what was going on in those scenarios when I would pull myself awake.  The second time I lay down to do this there were a couple of things that stood out - one was when someone in my field of view said "Let me give you this" and walked over to  hand me something. It looked like a small square piece of plastic in their palm.  Another time someone asked very clearly "Why do we doubt?"  Putting it in ...

So weirdly, again, I was blocked again by circumstances from trying to astral project today. One thing after another kept intervening.  A few weeks ago when I was trying to astral project the position I was using and the techniques were very uncomfortable and my I kept either having a very dry and sticky throat or allergy drainage.  I'm wondering if there is some reason I'm not supposed to be astral projecting or if this is another example of my current mental habits trying to stop me from traveling out of my current state by throwing obstacles in my way. That's something Irene and I noticed during our lives that whenever we were trying some new habit or lifestyle change to alter course, suddenly there would be all kinds of obstacles.  We recognized the pattern - it's like trying drive a car out of a rut you've cut by going on the same path over and over - getting out of the rut isn't smooth as you bound over the ridge and then have to drive outside of the smo...

Watching that "You're Still The One" video by Shania Twain got me to thinking about some of the structure of our lives and how improbable it all was.  That song came out in 1997 and we immediately adopted it as another "our song", seven years after we got together.  We never watched music videos so we never saw that video. We also never even thought much about the beach, much less living by the beach.  Twenty years later, after Irene passes, it comes to me that our place in the astral is by the beach, that it would be the perfect place for us given what I think our astral lives would be like.  It just clicked, even though in this life I've never really been much of a beach or ocean guy.   Then yesterday, when I saw that video for the first time, when she sings "Looks like we made it," at the beginning of the song, the image is a house by the beach, and the whole song is about "finally making it" together, and the whole thing looks like...

7:00 a.m. I fell asleep last night talking to Irene.  I love being in that dreamy state, still semi-conscious ... it lets me feel much more connected to her.  We continued the conversation this morning and I realized I was placing far too big a burden on myself - as she always says, overthinking things.   During the course of our relationship here, I learned that things worked out best when I stopped myself from trying to figure things out and simply went forward with her intuitions and "knowing".  Whether or not I believed something could happen, simply not getting in the way and not refusing to go along, not trying to talk her out of something, always worked out great. Eventually we got to the place where I could actively do my part in facilitating her intuitions and just trust what she felt. For instance, I never thought we'd be able to buy a home, and certainly not this particular, ridiculously large older home with 11' ceilings. Yet, I went through all the ...