Pondering The Nature of the World

Watching that "You're Still The One" video by Shania Twain got me to thinking about some of the structure of our lives and how improbable it all was.  That song came out in 1997 and we immediately adopted it as another "our song", seven years after we got together.  We never watched music videos so we never saw that video. We also never even thought much about the beach, much less living by the beach.  Twenty years later, after Irene passes, it comes to me that our place in the astral is by the beach, that it would be the perfect place for us given what I think our astral lives would be like.  It just clicked, even though in this life I've never really been much of a beach or ocean guy.  

Then yesterday, when I saw that video for the first time, when she sings "Looks like we made it," at the beginning of the song, the image is a house by the beach, and the whole song is about "finally making it" together, and the whole thing looks like it could have been sung and shot just for us to have a preview of (or a glimpse into) our lives in the astral/heaven.

When I was a kid there were three things that fascinated me; art, writing and playing with gadgets or devices that had a lot of buttons and switches, as if I was in the future.  The job I have now, which incorporates art,writing, and operating devices like computers, scanners and printers with lots of buttons and switches (so to speak), didn't even exist until I was in my 30's.  Every job I had until this one was just something I forced myself to do to make a living.  I got the job that I do now by an incredible confluence of amazing "coincidences" too long to describe here. I got the perfect job at the only point in time I could have entered the field without an education, a job which never even existed before that particular time.

Irene always wanted to live in a small town in a unique, big two story house with lots of rooms and outdoor space for her gardens.  She dreamt about it often.  When we met we were both completely broke and without any credit except the bad kind..  Yet somehow crazy events conspired to get us just such a home not once, but twice - as if we couldn't be denied that outcome in this life.

That's only the bare tip of the iceberg of the weird way our lives appeared to be following some sort of template or plan.  I noticed at one point that no matter what we did, our financial situation stayed at a certain level when it could have easily, at any point in time, made us homeless or unable to even have enough for food and utilities.  We would get money at key times from very unexpected sources.  The strangest and most bizarre events would occur to keep us moving down our path.

All of this seems to me to be the result of a very well-made plan for the two of us.  The situation we're in now also seems to be completely set up for a some reason.  Everything worked out so perfectly to put us in this particular situation at a very well-placed point in time.  None of it seems random now.  Which makes me wonder about the nature of our lives here and what is really going on; how do you "plan" a life if the physical world is largely random and pathways can vary greatly based on any particular free will decision one might make?

I mean, why did I read the personal ad Irene made? Why did she make one in the first place? What all had to conspire to make that happen? Why was I even in the area at that particular time?  I started off in Glendale, CA and she started off in at Ft. Hood, TX.  How can a world full of other people with free will all be arranged to ensure we meet at a particular time and place?  And then, how are all the people and events arranged to move us through one seemingly impossible scenario after another to get where got to?

This world simply cannot be what it appears to be.  There's just no way a world full of free will and random events can be reconciled with the success of any long term "plan" made before you even enter the world.  That kind of world would simply be too chaotic to predict anything very far into the future with any accuracy, much less make it so two people born a thousand miles apart eventually meet at a time where they both are available and ready to start a relationship.

I'm not saying I know what the world is, I'm just saying I know it can't be what we're led to believe.