Love After Life

We've finally had a break in the heat as Fall approaches.  I'm feeling even more connected to Irene, happy and blissfully content.  Last night and this morning I was telling Irene that I must have gotten to the point where my subconscious has become greatly in line with the continuation of our relationship because there's no other way to account for my ongoing excitement and enthusiasm about us going forward. If, somewhere in my subconscious, I felt like Irene was "gone", or I felt like I was lying to myself about our relationship, I would certainly feel miserable. The only reason anything in life mattered to me before she crossed over, or was enjoyable at all, was my connection to Irene.  Meeting her and being with her changed everything about my perspective, but that was always dependent on having her with me.  Just being in contact with her would melt away all angst and worry and fill me with peace and a sense of equanimity. That's what I have been feel...

Last night and today were very challenging.  There were some pretty serious events that occurred with a couple of our children that were very negative and - for all of us - very disheartening.  It's times like this that you realize just how crappy the world and the people in it can be, and how good people often end up in bad or troubling situations through no real fault of their own.  It's so easy to lose faith and trust when certain things go on. I did find out, however, that I have much more emotional investment in our children than I thought - which is a good thing.  It's one of the things I had hoped I could cultivate, something I think I came here to learn or let myself experience.  I had to work to keep tuned in to Irene's and my home frequency at times; at other times I felt Irene blend into me and just relieve my unsettled feeling.  Some very odd things happened that made it feel as if it was all part of the plan.  I woke up on my own at...

Yesterday I had a little trouble with my mental discipline - ate a little too much, smoked more than two cigarettes - but after a good talk with Irene last night I'm back on track today.  I had another blissful meditation this morning, and it's like getting a concentrated shot of Irene for the day.  It's really incredible.  Had another one just like it in the early afternoon and had to lay down and attempt to astral project due to the totally buzzed feeling.  I didn't astral project, but I did have a good nap. I was surprised by how much I was able to work today.  I remember that before when I went even an hour concentrating on work I'd find myself starting to panic because I hadn't been thinking of Irene. Today I was able to put quite a bit of continuous time at a sitting between walking the dogs and doing my light exercises.  One of my exercises is walking up and down our stairs five round-trips and I started imagining each trip up as a trip up to the ...

There was a healthy debate in the Afterlife Topics group about the nature of relationships and existence when someone said something I've heard time and time again - that relationships don't last forever and there there is no such thing as an "eternal", committed, romantic soul mate relationship. I started wondering about why someone would say that or believe it.  I don't see that there's a logical reason why such relationships cannot exist.  It seems that many people are committed to the idea that all relationships either boil down to the individual and god, the individual and the universe, the individual's relationship to everyone else as a whole, or just everyone and everything as "one", either in constant eternal fluctuation or, at some level, some form of unified, pure bliss where there is no sense of individual identity. I remember before I met Irene I had utterly dispatched the idea of "true love", or any "soul mate...

Woke up feeling great!! What a great, great day yesterday!!! I’m still charged up and so blown away by that video.  I definitely feel like I’m on the exact right track.  I do a 30 minute session after morning prayers, get up and go to work in my office, and for the next few hours I’m in bliss – I can feel Irene in my heart and head. I’m beyond happy, I’m goofy happy, complete and joyful, we’re cracking jokes and talking about stuff we’ve been through and are going through, we talk about yesterday. I play the “I can’t wait” song and it repeats by itself (even though my player is set to “randomize”).  I stop it after the second play and applaud her for making it repeat. We have some more fun and I play the song again, but it doesn’t repeat, an Exile song starts up. Now, Irene is a big Exile fan but I’m not. I think about stopping it but tell her “okay, but just this one, I’m not going to sit through an album’s worth of Exile songs.  Anyway the guy uses the phras...