Still Going Strong
We've finally had a break in the heat as Fall approaches. I'm feeling even more connected to Irene, happy and blissfully content. Last night and this morning I was telling Irene that I must have gotten to the point where my subconscious has become greatly in line with the continuation of our relationship because there's no other way to account for my ongoing excitement and enthusiasm about us going forward.
If, somewhere in my subconscious, I felt like Irene was "gone", or I felt like I was lying to myself about our relationship, I would certainly feel miserable. The only reason anything in life mattered to me before she crossed over, or was enjoyable at all, was my connection to Irene. Meeting her and being with her changed everything about my perspective, but that was always dependent on having her with me. Just being in contact with her would melt away all angst and worry and fill me with peace and a sense of equanimity.
That's what I have been feeling for months now, continuously. The only thing that can account for it is that I'm actually experiencing her ongoing presence. Believe me, I can tell the difference between her presence and the lack of it. I'm a disgruntled, angst-filled malcontent whenever I get low on my "Irene" medication. and that goes back to before I met her. I'm actually more happy, content and excited these days, on an ongoing basis, because I constantly feel her energy, which makes me feel utterly complete.
So much so that I feel myself drifting away from the afterlife communities. I don't need their emotional or informational support anymore - in fact, I'm starting to find them positively unhelpful in terms of what Irene and I are experiencing and doing together. Most of the dialogue in the afterlife communities are about "finding out" what the afterlife is like, where we go, what we do there, etc. Irene and I have never been about limiting ourselves to the constructs of others. We always have been about taking creative power over our lives and inventing our own path, something most people really don't even understand.
That's something else we've been talking about; just how unique our particular relationship has always been, but especially now. What other people say, or what "authorities" claim, has always been utterly irrelevant to us. We created our perfect fantasy world here in this physical dimension. We created our nirvana, our place of "spiritual" fulfillment here. We already found our peace, our bliss. We're not "searching" for anything; we found/created it years ago.
The thing is, that achievement, that kind of relationship, is so unlike what most people involved in spiritual or afterlife communities are interested, and unlike what they have experienced, in that I don't really see that I have anything to offer or gain by interacting with them. I remember, before I met Irene, being filled with the same kind of spiritual searching, looking for truths, trying to understand life and existence, being dissatisfied and unfulfilled, etc. Two prior marriages didn't change that.
Then I met Irene and, over a relatively short time, we both found our peace with each other. What other people think, believe or what they are doing simply doesn't concern me anymore. They all have their own paths and do not need my help and I don't really see what more they can offer other than distraction - but, I don't require distraction.
In any event, I feel great, go to sleep and wake up extremely happy, and feel closer to Irene than I thought possible. Of course I'm hoping for another transdimensional visitation, but I know that soon enough we'll be physically together again - and that fills me with enthusiasm and joy!
If, somewhere in my subconscious, I felt like Irene was "gone", or I felt like I was lying to myself about our relationship, I would certainly feel miserable. The only reason anything in life mattered to me before she crossed over, or was enjoyable at all, was my connection to Irene. Meeting her and being with her changed everything about my perspective, but that was always dependent on having her with me. Just being in contact with her would melt away all angst and worry and fill me with peace and a sense of equanimity.
That's what I have been feeling for months now, continuously. The only thing that can account for it is that I'm actually experiencing her ongoing presence. Believe me, I can tell the difference between her presence and the lack of it. I'm a disgruntled, angst-filled malcontent whenever I get low on my "Irene" medication. and that goes back to before I met her. I'm actually more happy, content and excited these days, on an ongoing basis, because I constantly feel her energy, which makes me feel utterly complete.
So much so that I feel myself drifting away from the afterlife communities. I don't need their emotional or informational support anymore - in fact, I'm starting to find them positively unhelpful in terms of what Irene and I are experiencing and doing together. Most of the dialogue in the afterlife communities are about "finding out" what the afterlife is like, where we go, what we do there, etc. Irene and I have never been about limiting ourselves to the constructs of others. We always have been about taking creative power over our lives and inventing our own path, something most people really don't even understand.
That's something else we've been talking about; just how unique our particular relationship has always been, but especially now. What other people say, or what "authorities" claim, has always been utterly irrelevant to us. We created our perfect fantasy world here in this physical dimension. We created our nirvana, our place of "spiritual" fulfillment here. We already found our peace, our bliss. We're not "searching" for anything; we found/created it years ago.
The thing is, that achievement, that kind of relationship, is so unlike what most people involved in spiritual or afterlife communities are interested, and unlike what they have experienced, in that I don't really see that I have anything to offer or gain by interacting with them. I remember, before I met Irene, being filled with the same kind of spiritual searching, looking for truths, trying to understand life and existence, being dissatisfied and unfulfilled, etc. Two prior marriages didn't change that.
Then I met Irene and, over a relatively short time, we both found our peace with each other. What other people think, believe or what they are doing simply doesn't concern me anymore. They all have their own paths and do not need my help and I don't really see what more they can offer other than distraction - but, I don't require distraction.
In any event, I feel great, go to sleep and wake up extremely happy, and feel closer to Irene than I thought possible. Of course I'm hoping for another transdimensional visitation, but I know that soon enough we'll be physically together again - and that fills me with enthusiasm and joy!
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