Love After Life

There are a few things I should update my readers about. First, I'm no longer trying to capture EVPs via recordings.  It's just too much for me to try to keep up with right now and I honestly don't feel much of a connection to it.  I still do the hypnagogic experiences routines here and there, but I don't feel committed to doing it so often.  When I feel like doing it and it's a good time, I do it. I do meditate every day, usually several times a day, and yoga circulatory stretches, physical exercise and prayer are still in my daily routine.  I now spend more time on AREI activities and will be doing so in the future, as I will be hosting meetings and also helping to acclimate people to the Zoom room protocols. This is all part of the "normalization" process of our relationship.  As my confidence in our relationship has increased, I've realized that some of the things I was doing, or how often I was doing them, were habits generated by panic, fea...

This weekend I spent a lot of time finishing up the editing on  my book, "Love After Life".  It should be posted here both on "The Book" tab and in links to Google Doc and PDF versions sometime this week.  Right now I'm putting in links to blog posts that correspond to various things I mention in the text of the book so that readers can see the full context of what I was going through at the time if they want. Yes, I realize I'm not posting every day like I used to.  Rest assured that I'm not losing interest in keeping the blog current, but rather this new schedule represents a new stage of the development of my relationship with Irene.  Some of my desire and even need to write here every day was out of a kind of fear that if I did not do so my attention to our efforts and dedication to her would begin to wane.  She is so woven into my daily life and thoughts, and my sense of connection to her is so good and fulfilling, that I no longer worry about tha...

Another great day yesterday, another great morning this morning!  I sat on the back patio this morning and said my prayers, smoked my morning cigarette and talked with irene.  A few short weeks ago I would have thought this kind of easy, normal feeling would either not be possible or would be somehow hurtful or disappointing, but I see that was only my own fear and insecurity.  Irene and I had a very fun, easy relationship while she was here - no drama, no need to make big issues out of anything. Well, that's where we had been for the last ten or twelve years. Before that there was the usual stuff most couple go through, especially when pre-existing children were involved. There's no reason this new form of our relationship cannot be as fun, easy and fulfilling, without me cooking it up with drama or tears or insecurities.  There is a very special, very warm and intimate quality to being able to speak to each other mentally that is an intensification of the connect...

I woke up feeling really good, had a good full session, during the meditation felt those old Sant Mat sensations of almost coming out of my body.  I think the new regimen and diet are helping a lot. Irene and I talk a lot about how to manage this relationship. In many ways, it’s a lot like when we first met in this world – well at least on my side of this.  I’m riddled with insecurities, doubt and fear that I’m constantly battling, and need a lot of attention from her to reassure me until I can build some confidence in the new structure. Had a nice talk with Dad, Mom, Irene and Reed (all on the other side) while I was cooking breakfast for Gerra and her son, Jace.  It felt really good. Gerra & Jace & I drove into Waco to take care of some business. It’s great to have people I can talk to about my experiences with Irene and what I’m doing as far as our relationship going forward. Amazingly went through the rest of the day feeling really, really good even ...