Sunday, June 4, 2017 First Acknowledgement Of My Spirit Team

I woke up feeling really good, had a good full session, during the meditation felt those old Sant Mat sensations of almost coming out of my body.  I think the new regimen and diet are helping a lot. Irene and I talk a lot about how to manage this relationship. In many ways, it’s a lot like when we first met in this world – well at least on my side of this.  I’m riddled with insecurities, doubt and fear that I’m constantly battling, and need a lot of attention from her to reassure me until I can build some confidence in the new structure.

Had a nice talk with Dad, Mom, Irene and Reed (all on the other side) while I was cooking breakfast for Gerra and her son, Jace.  It felt really good. Gerra & Jace & I drove into Waco to take care of some business. It’s great to have people I can talk to about my experiences with Irene and what I’m doing as far as our relationship going forward.

Amazingly went through the rest of the day feeling really, really good even though I wasn’t openly talking to Irene and didn’t do any more sessions because the kids were here and Gerra & Jace are spending another night.  I didn’t even panic about feeling “normal”, even though several times I made sure to mentally acknowledge Irene being here and do some mental exchanges with her to reassure both of us - well, okay, mainly me, but it makes me feel good if I think I'm helping her as well.  I felt her helping me the whole way, keeping me “whole” and helping via her presence to make sure we all are feeling good about going forward in this new situation.

Something I figured out after they left was that when I start feeling down, to simply tell Irene I need contact when contact will do instead of a whole session. If I don’t feel that the contact has been enough I can still go ahead and do the session, but it’s important to simply boldly state what I want or need from her at the time instead of trying to create  a whole thing out of something that might be very simple.  I need to learn to be more straightforward in this effort - state things plainly and simply.