Love After Life

It may seem like this blog has been off-topic for the past few posts, but getting my mental house in order has been a significant step forward.  I realize now that there was a good reason I kept resisting things like EVP and various OBE techniques along with other methods and processes for increasing my contact with Irene. Initially, all those things just felt like too much work, and I started remembering that every time in my life I worked hard at making something happen, it wouldn't and I would just get frustrated.  Most everything that has come to me in life did not come because I worked at getting it; it just came and my contribution was not screwing it up or rejecting it. Irene, of course, was just delivered into my life by source.  All I had to do was say "no" to things I did not want that came into my path, and say "yes" to Irene, even though she represented a path that, to say the least, made me very uneasy. I knew the moment she started talking to m...

Early on, I realized something that was triggering my grief was an emotional sensation whenever I felt Irene or focused on her. There would be an instant of this really beautiful feeling, immediately followed by indescribable grief. As time went on, I learned to focus on that first feeling as the grief was taken away by other practices we've talked about and have materials on - affirmations, imagination, visualization and techniques involving meditation. As the grief subsided there were other psychological issues to deal with just because there was no information, structure out there that would have helped me understand what I was going through. I would feel panic and guilt that I was "moving on", or that I was losing connection, or that she might think I didn't love her as much, or that I was dishonoring our relationship somehow. It's not at all rational, but it's not exactly a rational experience.  We worked through those things into the confident...

Since yesterday, for whatever reason, I've decided to start playing the guitar again, and to start painting again.  I think it might have something to do with the new comfort level Irene and I have achieved, where I don't feel like our transdimensional relationship is in jeopardy if I don't give it my constant attention.  I haven't done any painting in about 4 years and haven't even picked up a guitar in about 10. It's not that I'm really that good at either - I'm not - but I do enjoy both.  At several points after coming into this afterlife information I thought it would be fun, when I would be with Irene on the other side, to learn more about painting and playing the guitar. I would be free to do so - plenty of time, no other concerns, etc., plus the easy availability of instructors and teachers. Yesterday I realized I'm actually living in that situation right now.  I can do anything during the day I want. I schedule my own work hours.  I can set...

Some time ago I wrote about my letting go of particular ideas about what Irene and I fully reuniting would look like - meaning, I might not even experience my own death.  It could be that I just walk into a room and there she is, or I go to sleep and wake up completely in some astral world with her. Shortly after I wrote that, Cyrus Kirkpatrick put a link in the Facebook Group Afterlife Topics and Metaphysics to an article he wrote about an event that many mediums were getting information about where some kind of energy field our solar system was going to shortly pass through would "raise our vibration" and put us on a "new Earth" - or several, depending on our individual states of vibration.  He said it was possible that our dimension might "merge" with some astral dimensions as a result of this energy.  He was pretty skeptical of it. That rather neatly dovetailed with my view that I could just find Irene and myself suddenly occupying the same physica...

I woke up this morning feeling great.  Immediately my "walking visualization", imprinted over whatever I happen to be doing, was of Irene and I at some balcony of a very high building overlooking a part of a city near a bay, with fantastic buildings all around and a view of a harbor where these ships and boats were coming and going, some docked. We had glasses of orange juice and a pitcher of it on the table.  This was completely out of the blue, not something I normally visualize. We had a conversation that was mostly about "allowing", a term Abraham-Hicks uses a lot.  She reminded me that in all the time that we were together physically, all the things we wanted just came to pass naturally through really synchronistic chains of events.  None of them required my personal focus, meditation or efforts, other than doing some things I felt compelled to do and basically, 99% of the time, just not getting in the way or trying to force things into my pre-existent expect...

As the sun was going down yesterday (which is pretty early - around 6:00), I had set the Hopper to pause before Wheel of Fortune came on and, is our daily routine, sat on the porch for a smoke and to talk with Irene.  As usual, I sit in a comfy lawn chair, my arm around the back of the chair next to me (where Irene sits) with my feet up on another chair in front of me as we look out at the view through the porch windows, chatting. I was telling her how much I love her - out loud, which is how I've been talking to her for the most part since she crossed over. I felt a twinge of sorrow, something I haven't felt in a long time.  I switched over to mental talking because, back when I was still recovering from the pain, I found I could easily say those things to her mentally without triggering those painful emotions. She drew my attention to this, so I repeated what I was saying out loud and the twinge of sorrow came up again, whereas I could say the same things to her mental...

Wow! I woke up today and feel so much better than I have been feeling.  I think I'm shaking my bad attitude cold bug. I can still feel the physical effects but psychologically and emotionally I feel absolutely great!  I feel so connected to Irene this morning it's totally energized me and is keeping a big stupid smile on my face. I finished my will today, just have to take it into town to get it signed, witnessed and notarized.  As soon as I get that done I'll feel totally ready to leave this world when the time comes.  There's still a lot of stuff I can do in the meantime, but that will be taking care of my only real concern. I recently joined a new Facebook group -  Forever In Love with Our Partners who have Crossed Over .  It's a group with similar beliefs and views concerning soulmates and the afterlife.  Today I posted the following: "Reading some other posts in other groups, it occurs to me that we in this group have a perspective that is ve...

I recently had a good conversation with someone in an AREI Zoom Room video conference where they expressed their concern with affirmations in general, describing it as a "fake it until you make it" process that they couldn't get behind.  If that is how one sees affirmations and intentions, I agree it isn't a good thing to do because one feels like they are lying to themselves.  That's never a good foundation for anything. There is a different way of looking at affirmations and intentions, though, that might lay a better foundation and resonate more positively with some of us seeking to regain a fulfilling, joyful relationship with someone who has crossed over.  As readers here may know, I think of affirmations and intentions as words, thoughts, feelings and mental imagery that tunes me into the frequency of experience I wish to acquire.  In other words, I don't see such tools as "faking it until I make it" or as lying to myself, because I don't...

Lately I've been experiencing a deeper kind of mental intimacy with Irene during meditation and when I start falling off to sleep.  It's hard to explain - and maybe a little embarrassing considering family and friends read this blog. When she was alive, when Irene and I would kiss (among other things), all of my attention and hers was on that kiss, or that touch, etc., on our connection, in the moment.  It was like being one being in a timeless state of a kind of bliss where nothing else existed.  Lately though when I imagine and visualize holding her, or kissing her, it's like hearing each other's thoughts and feeling each other's feelings at the same time that we are experiencing the physical contact.  It's like literally being in each other's head and experiencing what the other person is experiencing, a kind of union beyond any connection we had before. Last night I fell asleep in that kind of state with her and I had two fairly intimate, very beauti...

This weekend I spent a lot of time finishing up the editing on  my book, "Love After Life".  It should be posted here both on "The Book" tab and in links to Google Doc and PDF versions sometime this week.  Right now I'm putting in links to blog posts that correspond to various things I mention in the text of the book so that readers can see the full context of what I was going through at the time if they want. Yes, I realize I'm not posting every day like I used to.  Rest assured that I'm not losing interest in keeping the blog current, but rather this new schedule represents a new stage of the development of my relationship with Irene.  Some of my desire and even need to write here every day was out of a kind of fear that if I did not do so my attention to our efforts and dedication to her would begin to wane.  She is so woven into my daily life and thoughts, and my sense of connection to her is so good and fulfilling, that I no longer worry about tha...

My meditations lately have been so good - deep connection with Irene and an electric sensation like I'm about to leave my body.  The atmosphere outside has stayed consistent for a few days, which I think has been instrumental in letting me get back into a routine.  My overall state of happiness and sense of wholeness with Irene has increased to a very enjoyable level.  I've been able to invest more time into the AREI zoom room groups and that's been pretty rewarding, which is something of a surprise.  Normally I don't like being around other people because I pick up their vibes and then I end up having to recuperate, but I might have actually found people with vibes that actually help me rather than hinder. Imagine that! It might take some effort to get out of the habit of finding reasons not to be around people. To take that challenge head on, I've sort of appointed myself as the Zoom Room greeter.  I stay logged in the room to help those why are new to it. ...

Although the physical atmosphere isn't great lately (too humid), I've noticed when the air here is like that, it's almost as if the other side is calling me.  I get this lethargic buzz in my head and if I meditate or lay down to do hypnagogic experience, I'm immediately immersed in our frequency and feel high as a kite. Today I wanted to acknowledge how fortunate I am.  The fact is, a lot of people don't ever know or even meet their soul mate.  I'm one of the lucky ones - I found my soul mate, married her, and had 27 incredible years with her here.  Even though she died and I had to endure that grief, now I am so lucky to know that I have such a strong and loving person dedicated to my well-being, watching over me and doing all she can to make me happy and comfort me.  It's like having a very special, intimate guardian angel. Knowing my soul mate is with me constantly makes me very happy.  She always hears me and immersion in our "connection vibrati...

Getting back into my routine is proving harder than I thought, with a lot of visits from family and errands that have to be run popping up.  The good news is that even though I've only been able to meditate one or two times a day, it hasn't affected me negatively in any overall sense.  That's really an amazing accomplishment that needs to be recognized and appreciated because it is so easy to take "normalcy" for granted.  It wasn't that long ago I was struggling with the very idea of feeling normal and was fighting back pain and anxiety every day. Looking back at those times when I was in the grip of grief and extreme sorrow, I could not even begin to believe that my current state was something I would achieve before the end of the year, if ever.  It didn't seem possible, and I wouldn't have even been able to imagine it had I not been given those two weeks of grace after Irene crossed over.  Here I am, though, not only feeling good, connected, whole...

I've had a couple more of those strong connection sensations today.  It is so sweet and transcendent - an emotion or sensation there is no word for.  I remember getting this sensation before and it was very confusing because it caused some sorrow at the same time, I remember writing here that I felt it was because it was Irene and her presence generated the sorrow of missing her. Now, this sensory, vibrational quality of her presence "touching" me, or going through me, isn't bringing up any sadness, just this very unique and comforting feeling that affects me throughout. I posted the rough draft of the book on the blog today so that people who come here looking for relief from their grief will at least be able to read how it happened for me. As I read back through the book, and in doing so referred back to some prior posts, I find so utterly unbelievable that I can really, actually feel this way.  It's like our relationship never stopped being this good - as...

Sort of a regular day today, although I've had a bit of a negative attitude.  I asked Irene if she was interested in doing EVP, or Electronic Voice Phenomena techniques (recording "white noise" for transdimensional communication).  I got a couple of iffy signals back.  I decided that it wasn't a big deal to try since I can upload recordings from my iPad directly to google drive and then they'll be available on my drive to open with Adobe Audition.  I'm kind of ambivalent about it today.  On the one hand, I'm pretty happy about where we're at, relationship-wise and with my own emotional state, and I'm resistant to doing something that might set me back. On the other hand, I'm really more interested in getting to a point where we can have a full-blown visitation.  I'm not that enthused about poring over hours of recordings to see if I can find Irene's voice, although I must say that would be pretty cool.  The only thing is, I know we ha...

There was a healthy debate in the Afterlife Topics group about the nature of relationships and existence when someone said something I've heard time and time again - that relationships don't last forever and there there is no such thing as an "eternal", committed, romantic soul mate relationship. I started wondering about why someone would say that or believe it.  I don't see that there's a logical reason why such relationships cannot exist.  It seems that many people are committed to the idea that all relationships either boil down to the individual and god, the individual and the universe, the individual's relationship to everyone else as a whole, or just everyone and everything as "one", either in constant eternal fluctuation or, at some level, some form of unified, pure bliss where there is no sense of individual identity. I remember before I met Irene I had utterly dispatched the idea of "true love", or any "soul mate...

Update 7-22-2018 On Friday, July 20, 2018, we achieved our goal of having a completely real astral visitation with each other. It was amazing!  I never lost consciousness transitioning from this dimension to the one where we are together.  The conversation we were having telepathically in our bed here flowed seamlessly into my actually being in a room, sitting next to her, having that same conversation with her.  Although I was conscious when my experiential scene flipped from lying in bed to sitting on a couch in a room next her, it took me several minutes to become fully cognizant of the fact that I was actually feeling the couch, actually seeing her and everything else (including my own hands when I gestured while talking).  I could hear her voice and mine. You can read more about it starting here. (Updated 12-18-2017 - WJM - New Sequential Post Archive Started & Book Now Available on Amazon) I have posted my book,  "Love After Life," so it can...

Another great day yesterday, another great morning this morning!  I sat on the back patio this morning and said my prayers, smoked my morning cigarette and talked with irene.  A few short weeks ago I would have thought this kind of easy, normal feeling would either not be possible or would be somehow hurtful or disappointing, but I see that was only my own fear and insecurity.  Irene and I had a very fun, easy relationship while she was here - no drama, no need to make big issues out of anything. Well, that's where we had been for the last ten or twelve years. Before that there was the usual stuff most couple go through, especially when pre-existing children were involved. There's no reason this new form of our relationship cannot be as fun, easy and fulfilling, without me cooking it up with drama or tears or insecurities.  There is a very special, very warm and intimate quality to being able to speak to each other mentally that is an intensification of the connect...

The subtitle on this blog reads [used to read, now I've changed it - WJM] : "My attempt to develop a fulfilling relationship with my soul-mate after she passed from the physical."  Amazingly, I now have a fulfilling relationship with Irene even though she has crossed over. That relationship is as good now, if not even better, than it was before.  I say "even better" because we have seen it not only survive but grow stronger because of this challenge.  Sometime during the day yesterday I realized that I have actually accomplished what I originally set out to do, but I have already expanded the scope of what I wish to achieve if possible. Originally, I was only keeping track of all the signs and messages that Irene was sending.  When I realized the only way I would be able to survive her passing was if I could keep our relationship and contact alive, I turned that into a journal, mainly to remind myself during dark times that there were times when I did feel who...

Irene plays music a lot in my head now and I love it. I wake up to it, and every now and then I realize I'm listening to one of "our" songs in my mind, or some other song. I woke up this morning to "Forever and For Always" by Shania Twain, and that put me in quite a happy place.  Imagine that - five months later and I can listen to "our" songs without always breaking down in sorrow missing her, but rather smile with happiness. That's not an accomplishment to be taken lightly.  I also realized I had stopped leaving the televisions on for her to watch (I figure they probably get TV in Heaven if they want to watch it).  I also can turn off all the lights now. I still feel a lump at times when I feel she's near (not every time, but sometimes), but we're working on that.  I want to feel delight and joy whenever she's near and zero pain or sorrow. That's part of our "fun and light-hearted" plan going forward - to "normal...