Afterlife Kung Fu

Irene plays music a lot in my head now and I love it. I wake up to it, and every now and then I realize I'm listening to one of "our" songs in my mind, or some other song. I woke up this morning to "Forever and For Always" by Shania Twain, and that put me in quite a happy place.  Imagine that - five months later and I can listen to "our" songs without always breaking down in sorrow missing her, but rather smile with happiness.

That's not an accomplishment to be taken lightly.  I also realized I had stopped leaving the televisions on for her to watch (I figure they probably get TV in Heaven if they want to watch it).  I also can turn off all the lights now. I still feel a lump at times when I feel she's near (not every time, but sometimes), but we're working on that.  I want to feel delight and joy whenever she's near and zero pain or sorrow. That's part of our "fun and light-hearted" plan going forward - to "normalize" our relationship so it's less .... ummmm, heavy.

Even when Irene was sick we had a very light-hearted and fun time together, but the seriousness first of my Mom's situation and then Irene's cancer was always in the background.  I don't want this to be another "serious", heavy background to our relationship.  We're done with all that stuff.  Even though I'm still here, there's no reason for this to be anything other than a fun, happy and adventurous time.

I just realized while I was responding to a post in an afterlife group what more of my purpose here is. Here is what I wrote:

I came here specifically to do some things. One was to not have Irene for a while to see what that was like (miserable), then find her and be very, very happy for a while, then "lose" her to see what that is like - all so I could carve into myself experience that will make it so that I will always know just how much she means to me, and so that I can appreciate her and love her more every moment we are together in the eternal afterlife.

I also came here to develop skills to use in the afterlife - such as trust, faith, intention, affirmation, and intuition - things my wife was very good at, but which I undoubtedly need more of. Being able to focus on what I want and love while giving no attention to negative emotions and thoughts is like advanced afterlife mental Kung Fu.

IMO, if you can learn and develop those skills here, in this environment, that's probably like a dozen grade levels and thousands of years in the afterlife. Remember, you don't just magically have all these abilities when you cross over; they are skills, and this world is our personal souped up spiritual dojo.

I want to be able to walk around this world strong, happy and light-hearted even though my Irene is crossed over, even in the face of whatever challenges come my way. When I show up in heaven I want the Rocky theme music playing.

So, yeah, I'm just here in the physical dojo, bro, chillin' with my fairy queen spirit wife Irene, learning my astral Kung Fu. The past couple of days I've been working on my self-discipline - two cigarettes a day, no more. Strict control of food. Strict control of work habits.  Exercise. It's been going very well.