The Next Step - A Fantastic Visualization and Conversation with Irene
As the sun was going down yesterday (which is pretty early - around 6:00), I had set the Hopper to pause before Wheel of Fortune came on and, is our daily routine, sat on the porch for a smoke and to talk with Irene. As usual, I sit in a comfy lawn chair, my arm around the back of the chair next to me (where Irene sits) with my feet up on another chair in front of me as we look out at the view through the porch windows, chatting.
I was telling her how much I love her - out loud, which is how I've been talking to her for the most part since she crossed over. I felt a twinge of sorrow, something I haven't felt in a long time. I switched over to mental talking because, back when I was still recovering from the pain, I found I could easily say those things to her mentally without triggering those painful emotions.
I was telling her how much I love her - out loud, which is how I've been talking to her for the most part since she crossed over. I felt a twinge of sorrow, something I haven't felt in a long time. I switched over to mental talking because, back when I was still recovering from the pain, I found I could easily say those things to her mentally without triggering those painful emotions.
She drew my attention to this, so I repeated what I was saying out loud and the twinge of sorrow came up again, whereas I could say the same things to her mentally and only felt a warm loving sensation. She told me there's a reason for that and that I needed to understand what was going on. She told me to focus on talking to her mentally instead of out loud during this talk, so I did.
I have the habit of looking over at where she is sitting in the chair beside me when we're talking, like you'd do in a regular conversation with someone. I did that and she told me to try doing something else instead; visualize us in the astral having the conversation. I did that for a while (it's something I usually do when meditating or lying down to rest or sleep anyway). My normal visualization of such scenarios has us actually talking "over there" at times, just like we talk here. Irene further prodded me to, instead of visualizing us talking physically over there, visualize us talking mentally.
This came much more easily than picturing us physically talking, and the visualization was much clearer and more of a natural flow. I noticed the top of my head was doing something. The best way to describe it is that it was humming or buzzing. It was a different sort of sensation than I usually feel when meditating or when I get mentally tired.
Irene was in a black tight-fitting dress that was lacy around the neck and shoulders, with black hose that had lacy patterns in them. This outfit was really persistent during this visualization conversation. It reminded me of how she looked when she would get dressed up very early in our relationship, but a look I had largely forgotten. It was evening and we were looking out from a deck over the ocean at night, lit up by the moonlight of a huge moon in the sky.
She told me (between kisses!) that talking out loud and visualizing her here with me (in the Earth-physical world) was part of the process of getting me past all the grief and pain to a stable point where I felt good and "normal". She brought my attention to what I wrote here yesterday about how our eternity has already started, and what I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the Identity Model of Existence and how I was prepared to bring us more into "phase sync", and how I was open to however that may occur.
I realized (with her help) that when I talk to her out loud, or picture her here, I am placing my focus on this world, on this physical experience. When I talk out loud, my focus is not on our mental communion. Although I "hear" her, it's more of a non-verbal understanding of what she is saying instead of word for word, although that does happen often when I meditate. During this conversation visualization, everything she is saying is word for word - in fact, she is doing almost all of the talking, and I'm "hearing" all of it - and it's a long conversation.
As she is talking she is doing little flirty, loving, and playful things - kissing me, sitting on my lap with her arms around me, nuzzling my neck and pressing her cheek against mine. She makes her funny remarks as usual. It is very consistent. She gets me to move my focus around to where I am both experiencing us first-hand and from a kind of third-party view of us. I'm aware of sitting on the porch; of sitting on that astral deck with her in my lap, and that third-party view at the same time. It's extremely intoxicating and immersive.
As we are having this conversation I get up and walk into the kitchen to do some dishes, the visualization is like an overprint on what is going on here. We are now walking on the beach in the moonlight, our two Pekingese with us. It's really amazing. We're still talking. I've never experienced this long of a conversation visualization with her before.
I realize we don't want to focus on her presence here because, while that was a good strategy to get me up to this point, it wasn't going to serve us going forward. We want to exercise our mental & astral connections and senses as much as possible, focusing on that experience and not this Earth-physical experience. She reminded me of something I understood from way back when I was worried about the idea of telepathy in the astral because I love her voice: when our capacity to hear each other mentally gets better, it is so, so much better than voice because you can not only hear each other better mentally, you can feel it all over, like a vibration of love that goes all through you.
Voice is downstream from telepathy - it's a vibrational manifestation of telepathy in this world. She tells me that telepathy is so, so much more satisfying, especially between romantic soul mates/twin flames.
The hum on the top of my head had made me ready to go to sleep so I was in bed about 8. I had two very interesting dreams. In the first one, Irene and I were selecting timelines for us that would result in the best possible experience and result for our relationship. In the next dream, I was beginning college.
I woke up this morning talking to her in my head. Like last night, I found it much, much more satisfying than talking out loud. Thinking about it, I realized I had found a comfortable space had been reluctant, on some level, to move forward from there. I really didn't think that a shift to a more mental-oriented relationship would produce the same comfort and satisfaction - or frankly, be as easy - as my physically-focused processes and habits. Also, talking out loud "filled the space", so to speak, and provided a kind of tangible connection to how we used to communicate.
We're in almost constant mental contact this morning. We've talked even more at length on this subject and others. I'm walking around with a visualization imprint over everything. She's given me insight as to why my visualizations of her before were somewhat difficult; I was too focused on trying to force a "correct" version of her into the scenario. She told me she is not the physical form she wore in this world and don't worry about how she appears to me in the visualizations, just let it flow. She enjoys playing around with different looks and delights in surprising me and having fun with it and wants me to be comfortable with it.
I also realize that focusing on our telepathy has had a resolving effect on the visualization, making it easier and more fluid, which actually makes sense. The more I focus on mental connections, the easier they become. I don't know how this will progress, but what I can say now is that this feels like a whole new stage in our connection. She told me repeatedly to not concern myself with any idea that I am taking up too much of her time or energy because this is what she wants, and she knows this is what I want, and those concerns and worries are entirely irrelevant. This is our world, our eternity, and we are perfectly in tune in our hearts and desires.
I have the habit of looking over at where she is sitting in the chair beside me when we're talking, like you'd do in a regular conversation with someone. I did that and she told me to try doing something else instead; visualize us in the astral having the conversation. I did that for a while (it's something I usually do when meditating or lying down to rest or sleep anyway). My normal visualization of such scenarios has us actually talking "over there" at times, just like we talk here. Irene further prodded me to, instead of visualizing us talking physically over there, visualize us talking mentally.
This came much more easily than picturing us physically talking, and the visualization was much clearer and more of a natural flow. I noticed the top of my head was doing something. The best way to describe it is that it was humming or buzzing. It was a different sort of sensation than I usually feel when meditating or when I get mentally tired.
Irene was in a black tight-fitting dress that was lacy around the neck and shoulders, with black hose that had lacy patterns in them. This outfit was really persistent during this visualization conversation. It reminded me of how she looked when she would get dressed up very early in our relationship, but a look I had largely forgotten. It was evening and we were looking out from a deck over the ocean at night, lit up by the moonlight of a huge moon in the sky.
She told me (between kisses!) that talking out loud and visualizing her here with me (in the Earth-physical world) was part of the process of getting me past all the grief and pain to a stable point where I felt good and "normal". She brought my attention to what I wrote here yesterday about how our eternity has already started, and what I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the Identity Model of Existence and how I was prepared to bring us more into "phase sync", and how I was open to however that may occur.
I realized (with her help) that when I talk to her out loud, or picture her here, I am placing my focus on this world, on this physical experience. When I talk out loud, my focus is not on our mental communion. Although I "hear" her, it's more of a non-verbal understanding of what she is saying instead of word for word, although that does happen often when I meditate. During this conversation visualization, everything she is saying is word for word - in fact, she is doing almost all of the talking, and I'm "hearing" all of it - and it's a long conversation.
As she is talking she is doing little flirty, loving, and playful things - kissing me, sitting on my lap with her arms around me, nuzzling my neck and pressing her cheek against mine. She makes her funny remarks as usual. It is very consistent. She gets me to move my focus around to where I am both experiencing us first-hand and from a kind of third-party view of us. I'm aware of sitting on the porch; of sitting on that astral deck with her in my lap, and that third-party view at the same time. It's extremely intoxicating and immersive.
As we are having this conversation I get up and walk into the kitchen to do some dishes, the visualization is like an overprint on what is going on here. We are now walking on the beach in the moonlight, our two Pekingese with us. It's really amazing. We're still talking. I've never experienced this long of a conversation visualization with her before.
I realize we don't want to focus on her presence here because, while that was a good strategy to get me up to this point, it wasn't going to serve us going forward. We want to exercise our mental & astral connections and senses as much as possible, focusing on that experience and not this Earth-physical experience. She reminded me of something I understood from way back when I was worried about the idea of telepathy in the astral because I love her voice: when our capacity to hear each other mentally gets better, it is so, so much better than voice because you can not only hear each other better mentally, you can feel it all over, like a vibration of love that goes all through you.
Voice is downstream from telepathy - it's a vibrational manifestation of telepathy in this world. She tells me that telepathy is so, so much more satisfying, especially between romantic soul mates/twin flames.
The hum on the top of my head had made me ready to go to sleep so I was in bed about 8. I had two very interesting dreams. In the first one, Irene and I were selecting timelines for us that would result in the best possible experience and result for our relationship. In the next dream, I was beginning college.
I woke up this morning talking to her in my head. Like last night, I found it much, much more satisfying than talking out loud. Thinking about it, I realized I had found a comfortable space had been reluctant, on some level, to move forward from there. I really didn't think that a shift to a more mental-oriented relationship would produce the same comfort and satisfaction - or frankly, be as easy - as my physically-focused processes and habits. Also, talking out loud "filled the space", so to speak, and provided a kind of tangible connection to how we used to communicate.
We're in almost constant mental contact this morning. We've talked even more at length on this subject and others. I'm walking around with a visualization imprint over everything. She's given me insight as to why my visualizations of her before were somewhat difficult; I was too focused on trying to force a "correct" version of her into the scenario. She told me she is not the physical form she wore in this world and don't worry about how she appears to me in the visualizations, just let it flow. She enjoys playing around with different looks and delights in surprising me and having fun with it and wants me to be comfortable with it.
I also realize that focusing on our telepathy has had a resolving effect on the visualization, making it easier and more fluid, which actually makes sense. The more I focus on mental connections, the easier they become. I don't know how this will progress, but what I can say now is that this feels like a whole new stage in our connection. She told me repeatedly to not concern myself with any idea that I am taking up too much of her time or energy because this is what she wants, and she knows this is what I want, and those concerns and worries are entirely irrelevant. This is our world, our eternity, and we are perfectly in tune in our hearts and desires.
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