Love After Life

I blame Kim LaCapria for triggering the following, which is a channeled download. As always, I apologize for the authoritarian tone and pease, take what resonates and dismss the rest: I'll be using the term "mind" for the most part, but others can substitute "soul" our "spirit" if those terms better fit their perspective in the following post. Most people think of mind in terms of a distinct three-dimensional construct, probably because the culture deeply associates the mind with the physical brain.  Those of us involved in the afterlife community understand that the mind is not the brain, because it survives death and continues on - same personality, same memories, but not in any essential way equivalent to the physical brain.  Therefore, memories, thoughts, our personalities, ideas emotional connections do not represent physically located and physically caused phenomena. In my old Eastern Indian philosophy, the core essence of an individual was...

In light of our success, Irene and I have been talking about how to tailor our process.  We discussed how she might help on her end, and how I can help on mine by adjusting my affirmations and self-narrative to become more aware faster the next time I visit her.  Also, we talked about ways of keeping me in the visit longer.  I got an immediate synchronistic validation from her about how we are conceptualizing all of this - meaning, I'm actually there, in the astral, while I am participating in this experience, and she is helping me with the mental/psychological aspect of that. We're having an insufferable heat-wave with continuous 100+ degree days. I can't take naps past noon because my bedroom air conditioner can't handle the heat and lack of humidity. My bedtime has been moved from around 8pm to well after 10pm. I'm actually amazed this occurred in the midst of all this heat, which usually undermines my capacity to do anything meaningful. We're having a real...

Yesterday morning I had such a great dream of being with Irene!  We were walking through town, going home, talking and joking with each other. She wasn't visible, but we were talking and I knew she was with me as if she was physically there.  When we walked through the door of our home she was there physically.  There were other people in the room but I didn't see them. I sat down on a bar stool near the kitchen counter and she walked in front of me, face to face, I could see her very clearly.  She was so happy to be back together with me - I could just feel it emanating from her. We kissed several times. It was fantastic! I woke up and was extremely happy and excited that we had such a great dream together. Later in the day, the light fixture in my laundry room, which hasn't worked in a couple of months, suddenly came back on - which was weird, because I had turned the wall switch off when replacing the light bulb didn't fix it. I figured something had shorted out...

Monday I woke up feeling like emotional crap.  I actually felt sad, but also anxious and frustrated.  It didn't seem like any of it had to do with Irene, and it really didn't seem like it could have anything to do with me.  I drove into town to do some shopping and I just happened to walk by a section of puzzles in a part of the store I don't normally walk through. This one puzzle caught my eye; it was of a castle. Not just any castle, it was the castle that Disney castles are modeled after - Neuschwanstein Castle  in Bavaria.  This was the first castle I pinned on Pinterest when I started visualizing Irene and I in a castle in the afterlife, only multi-colored, which is what led me to Disney castles.  However, the puzzle wasn't just a picture of that castle; it was a digitally enhanced, more artistic version both of the castle and the surroundings.  It looked more like a combination of a beautiful 3D, color-enhanced model of the castle and a digitally...

One of the things that came up the past few days in our visualizations for the new book was the bedroom in our castle, and one thing I noticed was that the bed was now different from our current king size bed - it was much bigger and round, and one of the aspects of the afterlife I describe in the book is how, in the presence of romantic love, the surroundings become more ornate and beautiful - including how wooden structures will self-carve beautiful, ornate designs in that situation. Another thing that has come up several times recently is the phrase "fairy tale," which several synchronistic events have used in relation to the castle we live in ( see yesterday's pos t).  Irene and I often thought our life together here on Earth was like a fairy tale come true, "the reality is better than the fantasy."   Irene is also a seahorse fanatic. A movie I watched at lunch yesterday was about a man trying to find the love of his life who had disappeared.  He...

I've had SUCH a great day today! Last night I went to bed very early and woke up about 2:00 and immediately felt like writing on our new book, "The Afterlife Adventures of Bill & Irene".  I wrote for several hours, having to take several breaks due to the euphoria and doing visualizations with Irene as the writing progressed.  Instead of feeling mentally tired I was full of energy and our connection was incredible.  I felt totally satisfied and whole with her and she was coming through very clearly and easily. Perhaps an hour later the Jehova's Witnesses came by and, as usual, we chatted a bit.  He pulled up a video on his tablet for me to watch and there was this scene playing out of this man and woman holding each other's hand while walking on a white sand beach with palm trees and crystal clear turquoise waters.  It might as well have been a scene from our visualizations that morning and for the past several days.   Then the minister start...

The amazing meditation I had on the 16th crystallized something I've been thinking about writing for a while, giving me a surge of motivation and excitement about it. So, I started it that night and I woke up excited to continue the next morning. I envision it as a book of short stories about me and Irene together in the afterlife in the future. Writing these stories is my way of deeply connecting to Irene via visualization. While writing, it became very clear, very fast, that writing the first story was simultaneously producing one of the most compelling visualizations I've experienced. (Well,DUH! You kind of have to visualize scenes you're writing about!) The emotional connection and sensations were so strong I had to take several breaks just to calm down and savor the incredibly wonderful feelings. At one point I thought I would either pass out or leave my body. The title is: " The Afterlife Adventures of Bill and Irene. " I'm writing it on Google Docs ...

Yesterday, in a great mood after a nice nap, I felt like meditating.  As soon as I started I felt totally buzzed and high, yet this meditation was subtly different than most.  I was at a place, a sensation of feeling free somehow, like I was no longer sitting cross-legged on my couch.  It felt like I was in a vibrational pattern, my body and mind tuned in to it, and I was exploring that vibration.  There were nuances of experience in that vibrational range that I could explore in the sense of feeling slight changes in my perception of it and of myself in it.   I felt absolutely no desire or need to stop meditating, which usually occurs at the 10-20 minute mark. I was thoroughly enjoying this, but more, it felt like I was actually doing something really interesting - like it was a place I could explore, investigating all the nuances of that frequency range and how they affected me.  A couple of times I saw things clearly appear for a second, accompan...

Some time ago I wrote about my letting go of particular ideas about what Irene and I fully reuniting would look like - meaning, I might not even experience my own death.  It could be that I just walk into a room and there she is, or I go to sleep and wake up completely in some astral world with her. Shortly after I wrote that, Cyrus Kirkpatrick put a link in the Facebook Group Afterlife Topics and Metaphysics to an article he wrote about an event that many mediums were getting information about where some kind of energy field our solar system was going to shortly pass through would "raise our vibration" and put us on a "new Earth" - or several, depending on our individual states of vibration.  He said it was possible that our dimension might "merge" with some astral dimensions as a result of this energy.  He was pretty skeptical of it. That rather neatly dovetailed with my view that I could just find Irene and myself suddenly occupying the same physica...

It's just so unbelievable, when you think about it, how far Irene and I have come in so short a time.  Not even a year has passed since she crossed over, and our connection is so good and our visualizations together are so immensely satisfying, our communication so easy, it's like I'm living in a dream world that keeps getting better and better.  The feeling is like living in a constant state of varying degrees of euphoria. She can shoot me a look, a playful smile, a sarcastic comment and it will just go all through me like someone shot me up with heroin (well, what I imagine that must feel like - I've never tried it). To think of how I felt not that long ago - the dark despair, the searing pain, the sense of hopelessness - and to compare it with what we have now, I can't say enough just how remarkable it is.  I don't say that in the sense of "Look what I've accomplished!" , but rather in the sense of "Holy crap! Who would have ever though...

After posting my blog entry yesterday I had to go into town to get some new glasses. On the way into town I was going to turn the radio on to a news channel and Irene told me to turn on a music channel instead, so I did.  Boston's "More Than a Feeling" started playing immediately.  Instantly a whole visualization scene popped in my head.  She and I were dressed like Spaniards doing a formal dance in a big ballroom area.  I had on a black flat-top hat and we were posed to begin our dance.  What followed was just amazing - it was like a cross between a traditional Spanish dance and more western ballroom dancing, like we had choreographed it all out for the music.  At a couple of points I was telling Irene how I was reacting "over there" - meaning me, here in this physical world, driving my car down the road. To see her looking like that, full of life and energy, smiling and having such a good time, just filled my heart to overflowing with joy.  I was...

As the sun was going down yesterday (which is pretty early - around 6:00), I had set the Hopper to pause before Wheel of Fortune came on and, is our daily routine, sat on the porch for a smoke and to talk with Irene.  As usual, I sit in a comfy lawn chair, my arm around the back of the chair next to me (where Irene sits) with my feet up on another chair in front of me as we look out at the view through the porch windows, chatting. I was telling her how much I love her - out loud, which is how I've been talking to her for the most part since she crossed over. I felt a twinge of sorrow, something I haven't felt in a long time.  I switched over to mental talking because, back when I was still recovering from the pain, I found I could easily say those things to her mentally without triggering those painful emotions. She drew my attention to this, so I repeated what I was saying out loud and the twinge of sorrow came up again, whereas I could say the same things to her mental...

This is all, of course, from my personal experience and perception, so please don't take it as "spirit-'splaining" - feel free to dismiss if it doesn't resonate with you. Just now, I was out on the porch talking with Irene, and whenever I focused my loving attention on her I got an immediate physiological reaction.  My heart races, tears come to my eyes, and I feel things that are difficult to sort out. This is not something new, but it has become easier and easier to the point that it is basically something I can just do at any time. The feeling itself is great, but it's like my brain is learning to process something it doesn't recognize and cannot coordinate with the physical situation.  We talked a bit about it and I focused attention on her a couple of more times to try and figure out what it was, exactly, that I was feeling. Like I said, this isn't a new sensation. I've reported on it about as long as I've been writing this blog. The...

I had another dream of Irene last night.  It was a pretty weird dream with all kinds of crazy stuff going on, but I woke up very excited and happy that I got to see her again.  Having family over for several days through Christmas and having a heavy workload I had to concentrate on didn't affect me very much emotionally, although I did feel a bit less connected to Irene for the duration.  I started to remedy that yesterday by meditating three times and going to bed early, talking to her as I fell asleep.  Lately, with the kids here, I usually fall asleep as soon as I lay down.  The meditations were good, deep and had great connection to her; the porch and evening talks were very nice, and the dream was really interesting and just topped everything off. It's easy to get into a distraction mode - watching too much TV, reading too much on the internet, etc.  I find it bizarre that I would revert to habits of distraction when I enjoy my connection to Ire...

Talk about a busy few days!  Family has been staying here from out of town and a Thanksgiving dinner was moved here from my son's house due to an electrical outage.  I've not only had a house  full of people for several days, I've also been on the telephone a lot and went out with the kids to watch some movies, so you can imagine my normal routine has been totally upended. Still, I managed to get in at least one meditation and do my prayers every day, and I was able to steal away as often as I wished to have some private time with Irene.  Our mental connection and communication was excellent.  My emotions were not a problem at all. To be honest, Irene and I never made a big deal of the holidays.  That just wasn't our thing, so my reaction to the holidays probably wasn't going to be as problematic anyway.  I know that others who  have deep connections who have crossed over have very serious issues during the holidays.  Our biggest day ...

This weekend I spent a lot of time finishing up the editing on  my book, "Love After Life".  It should be posted here both on "The Book" tab and in links to Google Doc and PDF versions sometime this week.  Right now I'm putting in links to blog posts that correspond to various things I mention in the text of the book so that readers can see the full context of what I was going through at the time if they want. Yes, I realize I'm not posting every day like I used to.  Rest assured that I'm not losing interest in keeping the blog current, but rather this new schedule represents a new stage of the development of my relationship with Irene.  Some of my desire and even need to write here every day was out of a kind of fear that if I did not do so my attention to our efforts and dedication to her would begin to wane.  She is so woven into my daily life and thoughts, and my sense of connection to her is so good and fulfilling, that I no longer worry about tha...

The past several days I've been helping  Gerra out in Austin after she gave birth to my new granddaughter, Kyra Irene and I just got back yesterday.  I'm still working my way back into my normal routine. What I've found so heartening, though, was my capacity to emotionally and psychologically weather a six-day upheaval of my routine, including sleep and meditation patterns.  Arriving back home was a very welcome event, but I never came close to having a serious emotional downswing.  Even the physical part wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, with all the driving around, lack of sleep, and the physical exertions that were out of my ordinary pattern. In fact, I enjoyed myself immensely, and never felt as though I was losing contact with Irene or losing my way as far as our goals and direction.  I felt very confident that everything was fine and that things were going as they should.  Gerra has nice back yard spot to spend quiet time and I used that...

The past couple of days have been pretty hectic.  I went down to Gerra's in Austin to help her out while she gave birth to my 13th (I think? Losing count!) grandchild, Kyra Irene Murray, named after Irene.  Pico and Marley (my two Pekingese) and I headed down there Wednesday and she was born at 11:23 pm.  We've been bunked up at Gerra's and doing whatever we can to make her life a little easier right now. We had several signs from Irene Weduesday.  Gerra asked for some signs and when she turned on the television one of the teams on Family Feud was named "Howell", which is Irene's maiden name.  Then on another show there was the name "Kyra" all lit up and blinged out.  Her friend Amy, who was there the whole time, said she had been talking to Irene a lot and was relying on her help about when to drive to Austin and what to do and when. For myself, I've been utterly amazed at how well things have gone as far as getting around in Austin, fin...

The past two days have brought it to my attention that even when I don't feel like it - actually, especially when I don't feel like it - I need to meditate and pray.  I know this sounds like I'm reversing my views from yesterday (probably not the first time I've done that on this blog), but it's more like a refinement. When I try to work out solutions to my feeling "off", the solution is really always the same thing: regaining the frequency I desire.  I exist as a happy, fulfilled and motivated person in what I call our "home frequency", where Irene and I have our best and easiest interactions.  So, when I wake up and feel ambivalent, especially after a day of being bombarded with the frequencies of other people, the best course of action is to pray and meditate to start bringing myself back to home frequency. Tuning into that frequency is my job; that's what I'm supposed to be doing.  That's actually what individual existence...

Today the atmospherics completely changed, including a thirty-degree drop in the temperature.  Everything felt different. After prayer and an EVP recording this morning, I sat for meditation and Irene asked me where I'd like to have interaction with her, now that I know they are are completely real locations.  We settled on the big padded bench swing that sits overlooking the ocean and the horizon at the top of the path that leads down to the beach from our astral home. As we settled into our "spoon" position looking out at the view, she turned around facing me and said, "You do understand this is real, right?  You are actually here right now, even though it doesn't feel like that to you yet."  "I'm actually here, right now, with you." I repeated in agreement.  I could see her in my mind very clearly, feel her. It was still an envisioning, but suddenly this enormous swell of emotion just climbed from my heart up to my head bringing a...