Love After Life

My relationship with Irene has reached a state of such normalcy and connection that I'm not even experiencing "forlorn longing" or sadness with regards to her not being here physically any more.  Every day now I'm very comfortable in my knowledge that she is here with me, that I am talking with her, and what is in store for us going forward.  Just like when she was here physically, I can get to where I need to be with her in more direct contact, and I meditate to get more deeply in tune with our shared consciousness frequency, but that was the norm for both of us here. I can get that with only a few minutes of visualization meditation. There are times when I want a more direct contact from her and I feel her presence more vividly, which causes my heart to race and tears of love and joy come to my eyes.  It is an exquisite, intimate sensation. I can just tell her I need to get a "dose" and she provides it.  When we were together we could just tell each othe...

Here's my two cents worth on the subject of whether or not something is a sign from our loved ones. If you experience something that makes you think it might be a sign from a loved one letting you know they are with you and love you, instead of letting fear (of being wrong) and doubt trouble you, simply make a decision one way or another, but do so in a way that makes either decision help you out in your desire for better contact and communication with the other side. Anything anyone experiences with regard to afterlife communication and contact could have other explanations, even if highly implausible. Afterlife entities usually work through some sort of physical medium in this world - sounds that already exist, animals, light, etc. and arrange or manipulate those things to make contact.  Often it is nothing more than what could be a very unlikely coincidence or string of coincidences. The point here is that most of us are not scientists or attempting to scientifically and obj...

There are mornings, like today, I wake up and I don't feel good or bad, I just feel completely ambivalent. I really think it has a lot to do with the physical atmosphere. It's heavy again here with a lot of humidity after a lot of rain last night. A couple of hours after I got up, though, I felt Irene just sort of vibe into me. It felt so good and immediately changed my frequency back into our zone. It didn't have hardly any of the associated sadness that contact with her used to bring, although it did carry with it a unique emotional content I've talked about before; it's really good, it's just not like anything else, so it's hard to put any label on. Meditation was excellent although the universe kept interrupting me for whatever reason.  I still have the family issues that cropped came barreling through like a freight train, but we're working on those and can at least see a way forward.  I'm really not very good at adapting to certain situatio...

Yesterday I watched a few minutes of a movie that reminded me of that documentary about kids in Indonesia who dig snakes out of holes all day to sell for enough money for food for their families.  Talk about putting me in an attitude of gratitude and appreciation!  When I think I could have been dealing with the passing of my wife and having to do something like that all day long just to survive and no air conditioning or central heat and not have enough food and not have instant access to books and videos, etc. ... it kind of makes any self-pity or sorrow on my part seem laughably self-indulgent. So, boy, yeah, I had a big prayer of gratitude this morning. Also yesterday I was thinking I needed to find something else to read to keep using that method of tuning in to the frequency state I want. This morning in the Afterlife group, I found that Cyrus had posted a list of books to read on the subject, and others had contributed quite a few books. Someone suggested on...

I was originally writing this in the Afterlife Topics Facebook group in response to someone asking if people had ever had the departed use music to contact them, but then what happened while I was writing it makes it something I need to document here. As readers of this blog know, Irene often uses music to let me know how she's here and how she feels about me. I have 200+ songs in my system and let them random play when I listen to music. The first time she used music was after a couple of songs played that I thought were odd because they were both songs she liked to listen to with me, so I said "Okay, babe, if that's you, play our Shania Twain song next" , and it was the next song that played: "You're Still The One". The next time a song just popped into my head I really had no reason to think of - "I Can't Wait," by Nu Shooz. It kept playing like a soundtrack in my head every morning when I woke up. That started a whole chain of ev...

Today, so far, I've felt great - really great.  I feel so connected to Irene it's like a constant high.  Last night there was no 6:00 bad or sad mood - my great mood lasted all through until I fell asleep.  Today there won't be much time to meditate as I will be having people over almost all day, but I don't even feel concerned about it because of this sense of connection, wholeness and joy. Maybe it will last, maybe not, but I definitely want to make note of it.  Finding out that the "buzzed feeling" is contact with Irene has meant so much, I can't describe it.  It's put me so at ease, at least for now, that we've "done it" - we've made real contact.  I can just feel her with me now and I know how to make good contact with her.  I'm not sure what focusing on that contact sense will bring in the future, but for right now I'm feeling so good it's probably illegal. If I have time after the kids leave I'll write mo...

Yesterday afternoon and evening, for whatever reason, was a time I basically just had to distract myself from.  I don't know if it was the weather, other people's vibes, something I ate, time of year or what, but my mind was frazzled and my meditations felt superficial.  So, I just watched TV, did what work I could, then went to bed. This morning I woke up in a rather bad mood and wasn't being at all friendly to my spirit team.  I suppose I was a little frustrated, even though they reminded me that others, such as those suffering from Hurricane Harvey, have it much, much worse.  I knew I was being a bit of a self-centered pill but I really had not answer for it. Then I noticed Pico,  one of my Pekingese, sitting on the floor in front of me, just staring up at the pictures I have of Irene on her "shrine", with this lost and sad look on his face.  That just broke my heart.  I got up and got a set of pictures I had printed on a foamcore board at set i...

Woke up feeling really good, got a good session in this morning.  One of the things I’m trying to keep in mind is that it is not necessary to feel like I’m in constant contact with Irene.  It’s perfectly fine to continue on doing things in life in a normal way without constantly envisioning her with me or having a conversation with her.  There’s no need to feel guilty or like I’m failing her or forgetting her if I actually concentrate on other things for awhile.  We will have our time every day where I can talk with her or envision her or just “feel” her presence, and hopefully there will be a time when I can actually  experience her in perfect clarity. Joined a couple of grief groups on Facebook and made a post in each, then started reading.  Afterward I had to cry – I think I took on some of their pain, and these people are in serious, unrelenting despair and agony.    I came away very, very grateful for all of the grace, protection and lo...

This morning I woke up and went directly to work – something I had told myself yesterday was what I needed to start doing because that is how I’ve always been able to work well and feel satisfied about it. I got up feeling very good, and just felt better and better as time went by. I’m going to write myself a letter to read back to myself whenever I start going wonky to reinforce the fact that when I start feeling that way, it is not an illusion or a self-deception that I have experienced long runs of time where I am absolutely happy, whole, fulfilled, joyful, and feel totally, ecstatically connected to Irene. We can absolutely find an ongoing state of being, her in that world and me in this one, for as long as I am still here, where I feel blissfully connected to her and full of love, joy, and light, motivated with purpose and value and meaning. I am not kidding myself, fooling myself or misrepresenting the sensations and feelings. The experience is real and apparently when I ...

I woke up feeling really good, had a good full session, during the meditation felt those old Sant Mat sensations of almost coming out of my body.  I think the new regimen and diet are helping a lot. Irene and I talk a lot about how to manage this relationship. In many ways, it’s a lot like when we first met in this world – well at least on my side of this.  I’m riddled with insecurities, doubt and fear that I’m constantly battling, and need a lot of attention from her to reassure me until I can build some confidence in the new structure. Had a nice talk with Dad, Mom, Irene and Reed (all on the other side) while I was cooking breakfast for Gerra and her son, Jace.  It felt really good. Gerra & Jace & I drove into Waco to take care of some business. It’s great to have people I can talk to about my experiences with Irene and what I’m doing as far as our relationship going forward. Amazingly went through the rest of the day feeling really, really good even ...