Love After Life

Lately I've been so connected to Irene, I feel little urge to meditate near as much, and little urge to use the affirmations that helped us get to this point. We were talking about this the past couple of days.  There was an analogy I used a long time ago that popped in my head. If you have a desire to go to and live on the moon, the pathway there might first start with building a rocket ship.  In order to do so, you'd have to develop certain knowledge and skills to build that kind of transport. Once completed, you'd need a largely different set of skills and knowledge - that of piloting that ship to the moon. After you've landed, you'd then need to become someone who could build and maintain a habitat on the moon.  Note that the practices that you must have at each stage is, to a large degree, different from the practices you needed before you got to the next stage towards our goal, and then actually existing in your goal state is largely different from existing in...

It's just so unbelievable, when you think about it, how far Irene and I have come in so short a time.  Not even a year has passed since she crossed over, and our connection is so good and our visualizations together are so immensely satisfying, our communication so easy, it's like I'm living in a dream world that keeps getting better and better.  The feeling is like living in a constant state of varying degrees of euphoria. She can shoot me a look, a playful smile, a sarcastic comment and it will just go all through me like someone shot me up with heroin (well, what I imagine that must feel like - I've never tried it). To think of how I felt not that long ago - the dark despair, the searing pain, the sense of hopelessness - and to compare it with what we have now, I can't say enough just how remarkable it is.  I don't say that in the sense of "Look what I've accomplished!" , but rather in the sense of "Holy crap! Who would have ever though...

I woke up this morning feeling great.  Immediately my "walking visualization", imprinted over whatever I happen to be doing, was of Irene and I at some balcony of a very high building overlooking a part of a city near a bay, with fantastic buildings all around and a view of a harbor where these ships and boats were coming and going, some docked. We had glasses of orange juice and a pitcher of it on the table.  This was completely out of the blue, not something I normally visualize. We had a conversation that was mostly about "allowing", a term Abraham-Hicks uses a lot.  She reminded me that in all the time that we were together physically, all the things we wanted just came to pass naturally through really synchronistic chains of events.  None of them required my personal focus, meditation or efforts, other than doing some things I felt compelled to do and basically, 99% of the time, just not getting in the way or trying to force things into my pre-existent expect...

After that big day and a half of constant visualization and mental communication with Irene, yesterday I felt some internal pushback. My physical body and physical-oriented psychology wasn't too happy about moving away from my comfortable physical-Earth centered system of visualizing her here and talking out loud. The strange thing is that it is even easier than visualizing her here with me and feels much better. You'd think that would prevent any such pushback (or mini-withdrawal) but, just like when she first crossed over, my physiology wasn't happy about the change. I didn't experience any grief or sorrow, it was just a weird kind of "no, I don't wanna do it" sensation in the back of my mind - like habit was actually given an emotion to express itself to me. As Abraham would say, a part of me was "resistant". So yesterday and this morning I've gone ahead and talked to her out loud on occasion just to ease myself more...