The Reality Is Better Than Any Fantasy

After that big day and a half of constant visualization and mental communication with Irene, yesterday I felt some internal pushback. My physical body and physical-oriented psychology wasn't too happy about moving away from my comfortable physical-Earth centered system of visualizing her here and talking out loud.

The strange thing is that it is even easier than visualizing her here with me and feels much better. You'd think that would prevent any such pushback (or mini-withdrawal) but, just like when she first crossed over, my physiology wasn't happy about the change. I didn't experience any grief or sorrow, it was just a weird kind of "no, I don't wanna do it" sensation in the back of my mind - like habit was actually given an emotion to express itself to me. As Abraham would say, a part of me was "resistant".

So yesterday and this morning I've gone ahead and talked to her out loud on occasion just to ease myself more into this. Plus I think the dogs like to hear me talk, and in fact I just like to do it now and then. What's interesting is that even while talking to her out loud here, I can still maintain the visualization of us over there, and I can still get her clear dialogue back.

I can't get over how easy and coherent our dialogue is when I'm focused over there. It's always been difficult - mentally draining - for me to have long, focused streams of articulated thought. This is so easy and it doesn't drain me at all. It's actually fun.

It's interesting how these resistances crop up and can insinuate themselves into our mind. At one point I also felt like I was taking up too much of her time but Irene immediately swatted that thought away and kept reiterating that there were no limitations on our time, no reason to have any of those kinds of worries or thoughts. I thought she might get bored of being in basically the same big cushy lounge sofa on the same balcony with the same astral view most of the time, and she immediately let me know that was just my resistance inventing things to be concerned about. "Oh my god get that shit out of your head, " she said in her usual directness. "Everything you want, I want. What makes you happy, makes me happy. You already know all this. Don't make it difficult."

Resistance can generate all sorts of doubts, insecurities, fears, and confusion that seems perfectly reasonable and appropriate, but simply are not necessary. She told me repeatedly to set all that aside and just focus on what my heart desires.

I do know all this, but it's so interesting how easily resistance can crop up very subtly, putting unhelpful thoughts and feelings in between me and total enjoyment of this experience. It's almost like there's a part of me that refuses to believe and accept that this amazing fairy tale is 100% true and that I have everything I could have ever wanted or dreamt about.

Irene and I had a saying throughout our time here - "The reality is better than the fantasy." I'm seeing now just how true this is. The reality is better than any fantasy I could have possibly come up with.