Love After Life

This is part two of the channeled information I waded through the past week or two, concerning what we refer to as "spirit" and our connection to it. Again, I apologize for the authoritative tone and issue my usual caveat: accept what resonates, dismiss the rest. Our Connection to "Spirit" First, what is "spirit"?  The phrases used in much of the afterlife community reflects a certain history of thought which characterizes our transdimensional interactions in a particular perspective, as if our "normal" experiences in this physical space are somehow less "of spirit" than other kinds of interactions.  For example, we don't usually consider normal conversation to be as much "of spirit" as information coming to us from mediumship, automatic writing, channeling, using EVPs, etc. Note the normal characterization of such "spiritual" interactions as information coming from "non-physical" or "spirit,...

This post is really more for myself than anything else, just to come back and be able to read at some point. I am incredibly happy, satisfied and excited.  When I think about what I was like just a year or so ago, I feel like we've achieved the impossible.  I'm perfectly content, I feel completely whole, our transdimensional relationship feels completely natural.  It all feels so normal now - our talks, our visualizations, her signs, the synchronicities - it literally feels like we are together again, physiologically, mentally, emotionally.  It feels better now than when she was here physically because I know what the future holds for us.  I know what we (Irene and I) are doing here and why we are doing it.  I'm totally satisfied intellectually about the nature of our existence and relationship, why we took on this Earthly experience, and why we may do so again in the future.  My heart is full.  I'm happy.  I am in daily, amazed appreciation ...

In light of our success, Irene and I have been talking about how to tailor our process.  We discussed how she might help on her end, and how I can help on mine by adjusting my affirmations and self-narrative to become more aware faster the next time I visit her.  Also, we talked about ways of keeping me in the visit longer.  I got an immediate synchronistic validation from her about how we are conceptualizing all of this - meaning, I'm actually there, in the astral, while I am participating in this experience, and she is helping me with the mental/psychological aspect of that. We're having an insufferable heat-wave with continuous 100+ degree days. I can't take naps past noon because my bedroom air conditioner can't handle the heat and lack of humidity. My bedtime has been moved from around 8pm to well after 10pm. I'm actually amazed this occurred in the midst of all this heat, which usually undermines my capacity to do anything meaningful. We're having a real...

One of the first things I read when I started looking into afterlife information was that, while we can talk to each other in the Astral, the more common form of communication, especially between those who are close, is a form of telepathy and that we can "feel" other people, which makes it hard if not possible to deceive others (in the most commonly reported afterlife areas). However, I love my wife's voice, and so it kind of bothered me that we might not be talking to each other as much as we did here. I couldn't see how "telepathy" or heightened "feeling" could replace the sweet sound of her voice. I had some dreams with Irene the past few weeks where I could feel her emotions towards me. Although she did speak to me in some parts of the dreams, she also "emoted" to me as a way of communication. I could feel what she felt towards me, and I have to say, it was completely awesome. I've felt her send emoti...

For the past few days Irene is putting this song in my head several times a day. I wake up with it playing in my head and I'll find myself very happily humming along or singing it. Yesterday Joy Collins posted music her husband on the other side played for her, and it was this song: Perfect song for people with loved ones on the other side, but at the 1:25 mark it got personal to me as they began using the word "Always".  Irene and I would always sign notes and cards to each other with the world "Always".  On September 8th of last year she brought my attention to a new "our song" by Shania Twain - "Forever and For Always".  I was writing a reply to Joy when I remembered that "Always" was also the  name of the very first movie I ever took Irene out to see, starring Richard Dreyfuss and Holly Hunter.  I remember I wanted to take her to it because it had Holly Hunter in it and I told Irene she reminded me of her.  I went to Wik...

After that big day and a half of constant visualization and mental communication with Irene, yesterday I felt some internal pushback. My physical body and physical-oriented psychology wasn't too happy about moving away from my comfortable physical-Earth centered system of visualizing her here and talking out loud. The strange thing is that it is even easier than visualizing her here with me and feels much better. You'd think that would prevent any such pushback (or mini-withdrawal) but, just like when she first crossed over, my physiology wasn't happy about the change. I didn't experience any grief or sorrow, it was just a weird kind of "no, I don't wanna do it" sensation in the back of my mind - like habit was actually given an emotion to express itself to me. As Abraham would say, a part of me was "resistant". So yesterday and this morning I've gone ahead and talked to her out loud on occasion just to ease myself more...

Talk about a busy few days!  Family has been staying here from out of town and a Thanksgiving dinner was moved here from my son's house due to an electrical outage.  I've not only had a house  full of people for several days, I've also been on the telephone a lot and went out with the kids to watch some movies, so you can imagine my normal routine has been totally upended. Still, I managed to get in at least one meditation and do my prayers every day, and I was able to steal away as often as I wished to have some private time with Irene.  Our mental connection and communication was excellent.  My emotions were not a problem at all. To be honest, Irene and I never made a big deal of the holidays.  That just wasn't our thing, so my reaction to the holidays probably wasn't going to be as problematic anyway.  I know that others who  have deep connections who have crossed over have very serious issues during the holidays.  Our biggest day ...

By the time "trouble hour" rolled around yesterday (6:00 pm), I was having a comparatively down day.  I had so much going on in my head and it was like mush, and I had little mini-pity parties on and off.  I just made sure to do my regular things and, as I wrote yesterday, cleared out all the mental stuff, asked for some help from the spirit team, and let go of trying to figure things out and trust the process. I was hoping for a dream last night. I did in fact have some dreams I remember.  While they were not spectacular, they did seem to help my attitude out, because shortly after I woke up and had some coffee, I understood that I had been pressing too much.  It's a bad habit I have that goes along with thinking too much. This goes along with what I'm here to learn - to have faith and trust.  Like Irene told me some time ago, I do plenty as far as intention, affirmation, work, etc.  After that I just need to let go and let God, the universe, her and...

So far today my time with Irene has been excellent, our interactions gaining an atmospheric quality that feels more authentic.  While laying down for a rest and visualizing this morning, other people - children - were with us outside at our island home. I didn't recognize them, there were at least two of them.  I wasn't asleep, but I was in that semi-conscious state where dream-like scenarios play out briefly.  Usually when that happens, though, it seems to be in random locations with random things going on until I catch my wandering mind and put it back on track. During a later meditation when I visualized us we were in that same location. Irene usually appears in a colorful swimsuit lately (and no, I didn't direct that to be the case, it just started happening), but this time she was dressed more elaborately.  It was something like a fantasy version of an Arabian princess.  I didn't deliberately do that, either, but I did remember us talking before - I don'...

Sort of a regular day today, although I've had a bit of a negative attitude.  I asked Irene if she was interested in doing EVP, or Electronic Voice Phenomena techniques (recording "white noise" for transdimensional communication).  I got a couple of iffy signals back.  I decided that it wasn't a big deal to try since I can upload recordings from my iPad directly to google drive and then they'll be available on my drive to open with Adobe Audition.  I'm kind of ambivalent about it today.  On the one hand, I'm pretty happy about where we're at, relationship-wise and with my own emotional state, and I'm resistant to doing something that might set me back. On the other hand, I'm really more interested in getting to a point where we can have a full-blown visitation.  I'm not that enthused about poring over hours of recordings to see if I can find Irene's voice, although I must say that would be pretty cool.  The only thing is, I know we ha...

After getting into some rather involved discussions in a Facebook group, I felt "off" - not say or down, but just confused and out of sorts.  I spent a lot of time yesterday with Irene talking about it, and it led to discussions about several other things - what she and are doing, how we are going about doing it, the nature of our existence and relationship. It brought to mind the memory of all the times we did this while she was here. We'd start talking about something casually, then the discussion would turn philosophical in some ways, she'd pull her legs up to a cross legged position and light up a cigarette, I'd do the same, and then we would talk for hours, sometimes all night long.  She told me so many times how much she loved the fact that we could talk about such things, how fun and interesting it was.  I was so happy to have this beautiful woman staying up all night talking with me about such things, like a dream come true. We would also talk about wh...

Yesterday I went out around 5:30 to smoke my 2nd cigarette of the day.  The air was really warm - I think it got up around 95 during the day, but weirdly I actually enjoyed it.  Maybe it's because I have the AC in the house set at 70.  Usually, though, that just makes me dislike the warm air all the more. It felt great, though.  I lit up and started talking to Irene and when I drew in the last of the cigarette, I realized something about restraint and moderation ; controlling how much you do a thing has a great impact on how much you can enjoy it and how that enjoyment is incorporated into your life.  I used to smoke many years ago and gave it up entirely until a couple of weeks ago when I started and then began enforcing a two-a-day strict limit.  Back then, I was a chain smoker, smoking sometimes up to four packs of ultra-lights  a day .  I got into the habit of smoking while I worked on the computer and then while I played games on the comput...

Still a bit under the weather today but have felt well enough to keep on track.  While I was sitting outside I was having a bit of a conversation in my head with Irene as if she was sitting beside me when I decided to send her a more focused mental message and immediately, in my mind, she said "Hey, I'm right beside you - you're talking right to me."  I turned my head and these two big black and  yellow butterflies flew into my field of vision right then, the same kind that I've talked about before.  I laughed and said "okay, okay" and in my mind she said "I'm always right here, with you."   I saw a small, empty chip bag being slowly blown down the street in front of my house.  I said to Irene:  "I know you think I should go pick that bag up, but ... nah. Don't wanna."   I went inside. Later in one of the afterlife groups there was a conversation about the same thing and they agreed that our loved ones are always with us -...

Yesterday afternoon and evening, for whatever reason, was a time I basically just had to distract myself from.  I don't know if it was the weather, other people's vibes, something I ate, time of year or what, but my mind was frazzled and my meditations felt superficial.  So, I just watched TV, did what work I could, then went to bed. This morning I woke up in a rather bad mood and wasn't being at all friendly to my spirit team.  I suppose I was a little frustrated, even though they reminded me that others, such as those suffering from Hurricane Harvey, have it much, much worse.  I knew I was being a bit of a self-centered pill but I really had not answer for it. Then I noticed Pico,  one of my Pekingese, sitting on the floor in front of me, just staring up at the pictures I have of Irene on her "shrine", with this lost and sad look on his face.  That just broke my heart.  I got up and got a set of pictures I had printed on a foamcore board at set i...

Last night I started getting sad so I went outside and sat on the swing and talked to Irene.  At first I thought that I was missing her - natural enough, nothing to be overly concerned about.  This was sticking longer so I started examining the sensation and realized I wasn't missing the Irene that had passed away, or even the Irene that I had been with for 27 years.  I wasn't even missing Irene , per se. I was actually longing for us , but not any version of us that ever existed in this world.  Oh, believe me, we had our moments - many of them.  Some of our "moments" lasted a long time and many were very, very special - well worth remembering and even revisiting/reliving if we get the chance. Long conversations, long drives, humor, intimacy, passion. The thing is, though, that even though we are soul mates, there wasn't a time that we were together in this world that we were not heavily laden with issues, responsibilities and burdens, internal and external....

Yesterday's meditations were amazing in that they felt so deep and gave me such a buzzed, "leaving my body" sensation.  This morning I guess the weather pressure has changed because I don't feel brain fried - I feel great!  It's just crazy how different one day can feel from the next even though nothing has changed with regards to what I know and what my views are. This morning irene let me know that some of what I feel doesn't start with me - that she gets to missing me as well in the same way - I'm not "with her" in a tangible sense, even if she can sense me and see me better than I can see her.  Some of the time I'm feeling her missing me.  I realize that even if we were both in the physical and I could talk to her or even video chat, I'd still miss her terribly, which makes me wonder if even being able to visit her tangibly in the astral would put an end to all such feelings.  I suppose it would depend on how often I could do it a...

I've been thinking about thought, speech, imagery and focusing attention/intention. I was thinking about what happens when you're talking. Most "talking" is an automatic process -  you're in a conversation and things occur to you to say and you say them. But, do you construct the sentence, or the paragraph, in your mind before talking?  Have you worked out all the words you are going to say, and in what order?  Do you fully work out an idea before saying it or writing it down? The same thing goes on when I'm writing. I'm not thinking out the sentence before I write it, or the whole paragraph before I start.  I haven't even articulated the whole idea in my mind before I feel confident that I've got something "in its entirety" I'm about to express. So, what is going on? I have a sensation in my mind when I'm about to express myself, as if I've found the thought or idea or information I want to express (even without conscious...

Yesterday when I meditated and pursued my new "irene" dialogue (imagined or pretend responses), I did get some surprising, specific and emotion-laden moments.  I also noticed that her side of the conversation isn't really totally neutral sounding - it's of a slightly different tone, than my own in my head. It's slightly closer to Irene's voice than neutral. In one image Irene was dressed like an island girl in a sarong and had white flowers in her hair.  The sarong was white at the bottom but had color at the top. She was tan and had very long, rich dark hair and a really beautiful smile on her face.  She was on the other side of the main pool of our "island home". Seeing her really made me catch my breath and made my heart start racing.  Now, I've seen images of Irene many times in my mind but only a few times do they cause this reaction, and it's always when an image just pops into my mind. I certainly wasn't trying to picture her thi...

No confirmation so far on the stuff I was talking about the other day, but I guess I didn't need it. Or maybe I was just supposed  to make my own decision on it.  I guess I had really already made my decision about it and just wanted support in making it. Anyway, the guy in the video from the other day was talking about how he opened up his ability to speak to the dead.  He was a highly skeptical person and didn't believe that talking to the dead or even spirit guides was possible, so he just pretended to be talking to them in his mind.  If you've ever had a pretend conversation with someone in your mind, you know what I'm talking about.  I would often have long conversations in my head with living people, but it was really just me basically trying to sort something out in my own mind.  Come to think about it, they really weren't "conversations" as much as me, in my head, trying to explain to someone (usually my brother Reed) what I was thinking, and by ...

8:00 a.m. So, after writing up this whole post about how I'm going to refine my technique and set up a schedule, I just did a visualization meditation where I visualize interacting with Irene and she let me know I'm overthinking it again.  I'm always trying to fix things that aren't really broken, always trying to improve things that are really working just fine.  Just let go of expectations and do what feels right. 3:00 pm. I think the summer heat and humidity is really doing a number on me - it does every year.  I am really messed up today. I've been battling fear and doubt and confusion all day long.  I don't understand these emotions or where they come from.  I'm thinking all sorts of things that have never even entered my mind before - negative and hurtful things.  I've already meditated sitting and lying down several times just to try and get a handle on it.  It's weird because it's nowhere near as hot today outside - I should be better...