Love After Life

It may seem like this blog has been off-topic for the past few posts, but getting my mental house in order has been a significant step forward.  I realize now that there was a good reason I kept resisting things like EVP and various OBE techniques along with other methods and processes for increasing my contact with Irene. Initially, all those things just felt like too much work, and I started remembering that every time in my life I worked hard at making something happen, it wouldn't and I would just get frustrated.  Most everything that has come to me in life did not come because I worked at getting it; it just came and my contribution was not screwing it up or rejecting it. Irene, of course, was just delivered into my life by source.  All I had to do was say "no" to things I did not want that came into my path, and say "yes" to Irene, even though she represented a path that, to say the least, made me very uneasy. I knew the moment she started talking to m...

I finished the first draft of my book, Transdimensional Love and I'm preparing it for a round of proofreading, editing and criticism.  It shouldn't be much longer before it is ready to be posted here since it is very concise and gets right to the process I used to overcome grief and reclaim my happy, satisfying relationship with Irene. Today was pretty much an all-kids day so there wasn't much time to meditate or work, and my routine was thrown way off without any naps, but even around my danger hour of 6:00 pm I was pretty much okay.  That's about when I able to meditate for the second time, the first one coming early this morning.  All in all I feel pretty good and I know Irene is happy about my spending the day with the kids.  I am looking forward to another astral projection attempt as I fall asleep here in a bit; that half-conscious state is becoming a good source of feeling connected. The main focus for me now is focusing on the positive empowerment of our...

Yesterday I watched a few minutes of a movie that reminded me of that documentary about kids in Indonesia who dig snakes out of holes all day to sell for enough money for food for their families.  Talk about putting me in an attitude of gratitude and appreciation!  When I think I could have been dealing with the passing of my wife and having to do something like that all day long just to survive and no air conditioning or central heat and not have enough food and not have instant access to books and videos, etc. ... it kind of makes any self-pity or sorrow on my part seem laughably self-indulgent. So, boy, yeah, I had a big prayer of gratitude this morning. Also yesterday I was thinking I needed to find something else to read to keep using that method of tuning in to the frequency state I want. This morning in the Afterlife group, I found that Cyrus had posted a list of books to read on the subject, and others had contributed quite a few books. Someone suggested on...

During my session this morning I saw this swirling light as if it was a moon and dark clouds were rotating around it, partially covering it up. It lasted a full minute or two.  Easily envisioned Irene curled up with me on the couch, she gave me a kiss which popped a big smile on my face.  I feel really good this morning. Wow. I was just listening to Eben Alexander’s account of his NDE [see the link in the sidebar "A Neurosurgeon's Journey through the Afterlife"]  and he talked about seeing a “slowly spinning white light”.  That’s the first time I’ve ever heard an NDEer say the light was spinning – the light I saw earlier was more like moonlight, but it wasn’t anything like anything I’ve ever seen before when meditating.  By the way, when I meditate I see all kinds of stuff – moving forms and blobs, what looks like the outlines of some kind of architecture, patterns, things that I’ve always thought were probably “floaters” in my eye, etc – stuff that’s not i...

I felt strong and good when I woke up, spent time with Irene working with Irene on new relationship, talking about what it means going forward.  I want our relationship to be strong and “normalized”, but I also recognize that I am insecure about that normalization.   One of the things I enjoyed about Irene being sick (ugh, I hate admitting this) was that she depended on me and I was able to come through for her.  Her illness provided a framework to let me show her how much I loved her and how much she could depend on me.  It was a similar thing with my mom when I was able to fully move my work to home; I could take care of her.  I could "pay her back" for all the help she had ever given us and I could "prove" to her that was worth that trust.  I found taking care of Mom and Irene very rewarding, like I might actually be a good person worth the love and trust others placed in me. So, it's been years since we had a "normal" relationship, so to s...