Sunday, June 25, 2017 What Else Would I Do?

During my session this morning I saw this swirling light as if it was a moon and dark clouds were rotating around it, partially covering it up. It lasted a full minute or two.  Easily envisioned Irene curled up with me on the couch, she gave me a kiss which popped a big smile on my face.  I feel really good this morning.

Wow. I was just listening to Eben Alexander’s account of his NDE [see the link in the sidebar "A Neurosurgeon's Journey through the Afterlife"]  and he talked about seeing a “slowly spinning white light”.  That’s the first time I’ve ever heard an NDEer say the light was spinning – the light I saw earlier was more like moonlight, but it wasn’t anything like anything I’ve ever seen before when meditating.  By the way, when I meditate I see all kinds of stuff – moving forms and blobs, what looks like the outlines of some kind of architecture, patterns, things that I’ve always thought were probably “floaters” in my eye, etc – stuff that’s not in my mind, but rather I’m actually seeing with what I think are my eyes even when they are shut.  I always thought this was normal, but have recently found out via reading afterlife materials that most of it is not.

I got to thinking about something Gerra and I were talking about before, about how all the events in my life seem to have lined up towards creating a perfect situation, both internally and externally, for doing what I’m doing now – exploring the possibility of continuing a relationship with a loved one that has crossed over. From my various spiritual studies and activities in my youth, to my writing (two published books on philosophy), to my knowledge of the internet and having run blogs and social media, being an artist, to working at home and having no real pressures or interruptions as I pursue this, to having a supportive family and a real, genuine interest in such things, and most importantly having a soul mate whom I am totally committed to on the other side. It just seems like so many things were set up perfectly for me to do this.

I was discussing this with Irene about whether or not this is what I should do – write a blog and perhaps a book – about trying to maintain and develop our relationship.  At some point I realized that this is actually all my life can be about from here on; advancing our relationship and that writing and talking about it actually helps me actualize it, and might help other people.  The idea of a life that is not centered around expressing my overwhelming love for her and continuing our wonderfully complete and multifaceted, amazing relationship is a laughable proposition; there is literally no other course I can embark on with any enthusiasm, love or joy.

A couple of family members and I were watching a recorded show and I was skipping through commercials and the red dot X appeared like when I try to pause it after changing a channel – it won’t pause for a few seconds.  The red dot X appeared and I couldn’t skip forward even though I was on a recording. It stopped me on the Honda Accord commercial. I asked them “did you see that? It stopped me from skipping ahead!” I skipped back 20 seconds and it was the same Honda accord commercial. It played through, there was a long dark pause, and it started up again!  We let it play through, skipped back, and there was an entirely different commercial on.  I skipped back several times and instead of Honda Accord commercials, there was a whole series of other commercials.  I skipped back again and the Honda Accord  commercial was playing – we played it through and when it ended we saw the end of one of the other commercials. It was if the Honda Accord commercial was playing on top of the other commercials and there was still some of the other ones left at the end.

I said, “you guys saw that, right? Right?” and one of them said “Yeah, that was weird”.  The other started trying to come up with some kind of electronic data explanation.  “Oh come on,” I said, mostly to myself.  What does it take?

As time went by I found myself somewhat frustrated by their lack of enthusiasm and wonder at what had just occurred. It was like they didn’t want to think about it much, didn’t want to validate that Irene had just basically performed an amazing, seemingly impossible event right in front of them. 

I wonder if people are afraid of believing false things or appearing foolish if they validated such events as messages and signs from God or from loved ones on the other side?  I wonder if people might be afraid of talking to the “dead” because it might look odd or invite mockery or condescension?  I mean, it’s not like I talk openly to my soul group while the family is around. Perhaps that’s something I need to work on myself – normalizing talking to the departed and validating their presence even while others are here. It just seems like I would be forcing something on them they'd just as soon not have to deal with.

Perhaps people just want to move on in an attempt to get past the pain? That may be the only way they can cope, and talking to the dead in front of them might only drive them away.

When I took the dogs for their last evening walk a firefly  got right in front of my face as were were coming inside and just hovered there for a while lighting on and off.