Rewriting History or Alternate Reality?

I read the past few entries and here's something weird I noticed.  One day I have the best meditations I've had in a long, long time; two days later I'm writing that "for the past several days, I've been having trouble meditating". Okay, so that was literally not true, but yet that is actually what I remembered at the time.

Remembering when I was experiencing grief, even then I noticed that when I was experiencing it, at the time it seemed utterly real to me that I had always felt that way and always would.  I would, at the time, be thinking it had been forever since I felt good, that I had been feeling miserable for days. I'd go back to the journal and discover to my shock that the day before I had felt great.  The grief also made me believe that even if I had wrote down that I had felt great, that I must have been lying to myself.

This is so odd. I wonder if people who keep journals notice this kind of thing - a disparity between what they are thinking and feeling and what has actually been the case?  This morning I feel great - full of confidence and a sense of knowing that Irene is here and that we will be fully together soon.  I had a good meditation and prayer session and apologized to my spirit team for the moodiness yesterday.

I'm thinking, though, that it was more than just personal moodiness if I'm mentally editing or rewriting history to conform to my mental state.  How is it that I remember something entirely different from what I wrote down?  Was I remembering a different reality? Was I in a different reality for a day? It sure felt like it.

Irene and I have often talked about multiple realities - I don't remember if I've written any of that here in this blog yet.  We started noticing that we had different memories of certain things and that they were causing us to have issues because we thought the other person was "wrong" or was trying to rewrite history in their favor - or worse, that the other person was deliberately lying.  What we realized is that we really did actually remember it differently.

Then one day we were driving home from town and we were having a discussion about something that was turning into an argument and I realized that she had said something that didn't quite make sense in the context of what I thought the argument was about. I turned to her and asked her what she thought we were arguing about, and when she told me I realized we were arguing about two entirely different things.  We backtracked what we remembered each other saying and realized that we were participating in two entirely different topics and hearing the other person say things that neither of us remembered saying - in fact, I distinctly remembered saying X and she would remember me saying something completely different that had to do with what she was talking about. And vice-versa.

From then on we realized that most of our disagreements came from one what we came to think of negative spirits manipulating things, such as our reality experience, in order to cause trouble between us.  Instead of getting into an argument based on something we were sure the other person said or did, or a memory, we would express what we had heard, or saw, and remembered in a neutral fashion and then the other would express their view and most of the time any disagreement we had came from this bizarre disparity.

Negative spirits?  Reality shift? Manifestation of some inner insecurity or negative thought? Or just a guy with a faulty memory having a bad day?  Yesterday was really weird - I really felt like someone else all day long, but I do recognize that guy from experiencing him before.  I need to try and stay on top of this to make sure it doesn't drag me off in a direction I don't want to go.